Love Advice: Why does someone who puts their whole soul into their loved ones end up alone In 2025?

Love Advice: Why does someone who puts their whole soul into their loved ones end up alone in 2025?

Why does someone who puts their whole soul into their loved ones end up alone?
Everything is good in moderation…
The following saying is attributed to the Reverend Optina Elders: “If you want to get rid of sadness, do not attach your heart to anyone or anything.”

If all this is the wisdom of people, accumulated over the years, then it is very difficult to live in this world. Do you really have to pretend forever that you do not particularly love a person so that he does not dare to leave you? For monks living in solitude, this is natural, but as for ordinary people, we simply cannot help but love, not become attached, not expect warmth and kindness in return.

The poet Eduard Asadov, a Soviet poet, has the following lines:

Raising a child is like climbing a mountain.
You walk and sigh more and more often –
The more soul you give to him,
The less you receive in return.

Why does this happen? Why does a person who receives love, tenderness, and care dream of breaking out from under this dome?

A lover not only wants to give, he also wants to take—to scoop up love in return by the spoonful. But life is arranged differently.

A case from life

The daughter loved her mother immensely and was ready to do a lot for her. But the mother, like the old woman from Pushkin’s fairy tale about the Golden Fish, wanted to receive more and more love every year. At first, she asked to visit her as often as possible, then to accompany her on trips to the sea, and then she began to ask for an increase in financial support since the pension was not enough for anything. The woman was never denied anything.

Finally, she became completely bold and began to ask to leave her husband so that her daughter could live with her in the apartment. She whispered all sorts of nasty things about him.

The daughter refused. And instantly became enemy number one. The mother mentally crossed out all the good that had been done for her and began to go to the neighbors, telling them how obstinate and ungrateful her daughter was: she had traded her own mother for some scoundrel. She wanted to “own” her daughter without limits, not to share her attention with anyone.

Another possible scenario

Not long ago, I read on the Internet about how Elvis Presley and Quentin Tarantino had relationships with their parents. Elvis’ mother believed that her son would grow up and become a star. The son grew up and was ready to spend all his earnings on a woman from whom he received approval and support.

Tarantino’s mother did not encourage her son’s hobby, who began writing scripts early. She called him a useless scriber and asked him to study. Quentin harbored a grudge. As an adult, he chose to refuse close contact with his mother. But she did not want anything bad, she, like other mothers, was worried about her son’s fate . Why did this happen?

It is not enough to fulfill your parental duty—feed, water, and clothe. You need to sincerely love your child, and then he will love in return.

A good wife whose husband left her

I have several friends who idolized their husbands, laid out carpets under their feet to make their lives more comfortable, and they paid for their spiritual generosity.

But not because the man did not appreciate the efforts and efforts and went to look for someone better. But because the relationship in the family union, as in the child-parent pair, requires a healthy balance.

Far from all good wives are abandoned and betrayed. On the contrary, they are treasured and relationships are held. But still, there are women who are abandoned.

How many times have we told the world that a man does not need so much invested effort and care? Terror with love is exhausting. This is not love at all, but manipulation, a desire to demonstrate how much better she, this woman, is than the rest. An attempt to save a sinking ship. And it will sink anyway…

Please note that the complaint about loneliness always begins like this: “I gave so much to him/her/it… dedicated it… sacrificed it… and he!”

Firstly , there was no need to give and dedicate so much; it was not required.

Secondly , do good and throw it into the water. Don’t expect anything in return.

And thirdly, nothing in this world lasts forever. You can’t keep someone under your wing by force; you can’t tie them to your leg. Those who have moved away must be replaced by others. And if they don’t exist… that’s another matter. There are people who not only don’t have children to visit; they don’t even have friends. And it’s not about ungrateful offspring, but about the person himself.