So, you’ve either been in the dating game for a while or are just discovering it and you’ve started to realize things aren’t happening the way you expected them to.
At one point, you realized you should learn how to put yourself out there. Maybe you’ve been waiting for love to just come your way or maybe you’ve noticed that people don’t really pay much attention to you.
The thing is, being an ‘out there’ kind of person and someone who gets noticed isn’t always something you’re born with but with a little bit of work, it’s something anyone can be.
If you’re sitting there thinking, “Well, how to put myself out there?!” continue reading this article because we’ll teach you 5 key steps to take while working on your inner self after we’ve taught you 10 things you absolutely must try to do involving other people.
Be open to your friends setting you up
Some people hate the idea of their friends setting them up but many couples who are now married will tell you that’s exactly how they met.
It can be slightly awkward but it doesn’t have to be obvious. It’s not like they have to arrange a blind date for you two; the whole process can be more spontaneous and chill.
Talk to some of your close friends, ask them if there’s someone they could recommend for you and I’m sure they will be thrilled to do that for you.
The person you meet may not be the right person for you but it will be a fun experience that takes you in the direction of being more open and admitting that looking for a partner isn’t something shameful.
Go to different kinds of places and events
If you asked your friends or family members for dating advice, the first thing they’d tell you would probably be to get out more. Even though it may seem too simple, it can really help.
If you’re constantly going out to the same places, chances are you’ve seen all the people who go there and maybe even met most of them.
It doesn’t have to be anything wild, you can just change the coffee shop you go to or when there’s something happening such as a party, push yourself to go there even though you might feel reluctant at first.
Find new hobbies and activities
Stop swiping through social media looking at what exciting things other people do and dare to try doing new things yourself.
Not only will this help you explore your personality deeper, it will also help you meet new people.
If you’re doing the same things over and over again, there’s less chance that you’ll meet someone new.
The excitement of doing something new will bring out something in you, a new kind of spark that will hopefully be your first move to actually putting yourself out there.
Focus on real life. Irl, people engage in different kinds of activities to expand their circle of people and to motivate themselves to grow.
Try going out on your own
Like most of us, you’re probably used to going out with a friend. You rarely or never go out to do something on your own but this is something that’s worth exploring.
It will feel weird at first because you’re used to having someone by your side when you’re out and about but you’ll get used to the feeling.
You’ll be surprised how beneficial this can be but also how comfortable it can feel. If you want to truly work on being ‘more out there’, this is the right way.
Even though you’ll be extremely self-conscious at first, it will grow on you and teach you how to accept who you are and be proud of your own personality.
Compliment other people
There’s something charismatic about people who always have a nice compliment for a fellow human being, although I’m not saying you should give fake compliments to people about things you don’t actually like.
Open up more to sharing your thoughts when you have something nice to say about someone, don’t keep it in. It doesn’t have to be flirty, nor does it have to be said to someone who’s your romantic interest.
Learn to compliment more people from time to time. You can start with a co-worker or a salesperson who works at a place where you shop.
Tell them something nice about their clothes or hair, the way they behave professionally or personally.
Not only will this make you feel better when you see their reaction but it will also inspire them to talk about you, which will help you build your self-esteem.
Open up to making new friends
A lot of people think that they are open to meeting new people even though they actually haven’t really, truly met anyone new in years.
Just because you found out a person’s name and had a little chit-chat with them, that doesn’t mean you’re open to making new friends.
When you meet someone new, someone you sense you would like or connect with, invite them to meet up for coffee or something else you think you could both enjoy.
Make a conscious effort to invite someone new into your life. Be open about who you are though, don’t change yourself just so you can make friends with someone.
You can always try and see what happens and if a relationship blossoms, that’s amazing. The thing is that even if it doesn’t, you still have the benefit of a new experience.
I’m sure that your friends are amazing and you feel like they’re enough but constantly spending time with the same people keeps you in your own little world and stops you from learning how to put yourself out there.
Join a dating app
There are many online dating sites you can choose from. Explore your options, pick one (or more) and try it out.
I know that online dating can be weird and it can feel like it’s all about self-promotion but meeting someone that way can be really interesting.
I’m not saying that you’re going to meet the one (maybe you will though, you never know) but you’ll definitely learn to talk about yourself, which will help you in becoming more extroverted and open to new people.
If the words, “How do I put myself out there?” have ever crossed your mind but you don’t feel like going overboard, investigating the world of dating apps might be an amazing experience for you.
Try speed dating
This is one of the things that most probably won’t help you meet your soulmate but it will most definitely help you get out there.
You’re there to meet someone and everybody knows that because they are there for the very same reason, which is liberating.
You don’t have to wonder if the person you’re talking to is up for meeting someone new, as you know they are.
You also don’t have to worry too much about potentially embarrassing yourself because hey, after meeting so many people, no one will even remember you saying something stupid (they probably won’t even notice).
If you’re shy, even though it may seem counterintuitive, speed dating could be an amazing choice for you.
Openly flirt with someone
Find someone you like, it can be someone you’ve known from before or someone completely new, and flirt with them in an obvious way. Make it playful and fun and throw in a couple of flirty jokes and wait for their reaction.
If you’re not used to doing something like this and you probably aren’t if you’re wondering how to put yourself out there, you’ll probably start laughing or even run away but THAT’S OKAY.
It’s absolutely unimportant that your flirting is successful. What matters is how you handle the situation. Don’t be scared, just relax and get it over with.
I say get it over with because if this is your first time deliberately and openly flirting with someone, it will be stressful.
If you like it, you can practice doing it on random people until you find someone you really want to try it on.
Make sure you seem approachable
When you’re trying to put yourself out there, it’s important to look approachable and friendly. How to do this? Well, there are a few things you can try.
– Laugh more.
– Lean toward people you’re speaking to.
– When someone talks to you, show them you’re happy to listen to what they have to say.
– Keep your eyes wide open and smile.
– Keep eye contact.
– Learn how to have open body language.
– Keep your head up even when you feel shy.
One additional tip that’s very important would be to check your phone less and even keep it out of sight.
If you feel like you’re ready to explore this further and change your exterior world, the above are some things you can do to put yourself out there and get in the game.
You don’t have to do all of them, just pick something that suits you best and try it out.
On the other hand, if you feel like you need to work on yourself first before you’re ready to jump in the game, check out the following ways to do that.
5 Stimulating Ways To Work On Yourself:
Step out of your comfort zone
Being unable to put yourself out there usually has a lot to do with being stuck in a certain kind of rut, either internal, external or both.
The change has to begin within you. Take a step out of your comfort zone, do something that scares you or makes you a little bit anxious or uncomfortable.
Maybe you feel intimidated by public speaking so try that. Maybe you’re afraid to talk to someone first, so try that.
Whatever it is, try doing it. Start small. Don’t push yourself too far so you don’t end up feeling even more scared than you were at the beginning of this process.
If you want to end your fear of putting yourself out there, try ending your other, smaller fears first. Success will bring you the confidence to tackle your bigger issues.
Speak your mind and stand up for what you believe in
If you’re an introvert, it doesn’t mean you should also become a pushover. Work on becoming the kind of person who’s never afraid to speak their mind.
You are important. Your thoughts, attitudes and opinions matter.
Maybe you’ve had some humiliating or embarrassing experiences that made you feel like it’s better if you don’t say a word and just do what everybody else does.
Work on leaving your traumas in the past and starting a new life with a new, improved self.
Every person has a certain level of self-doubt. What makes a true difference in the way you lead your life is how you decide to deal with it. You deserve to become aware that you matter.
Whatever it takes, work on your confidence. A person who’s able to state their opinion even when others disagree says they have a strong character and admirable integrity. Trust me, you want to be that person.
Accept your vulnerability and your weaknesses
We’ve talked about strength and power but we still haven’t said a word about vulnerability and things that can be considered our weaknesses and that’s extremely important, both in life but also in the dating process.
No one is unbreakable. Even Achilles had his heel. It’s crucial that you learn to accept and live with your weaknesses but also your vulnerability.
No one expects you to do everything perfectly. You can make mistakes, that’s allowed.
If you feel like you could be hurt if you decide to put yourself out there, well, you’re very right, you could.
Maybe you weren’t born as the kind of person who’s a good judge of character and are now afraid that the people you choose to open up to would hurt you.
That’s a valid concern but no one in this world could stop that from happening.
The only thing you can do is accept that you’re vulnerable, remain aware that things can go wrong but also that what happens doesn’t determine your worth.
I don’t mean just for relationships but goals for life in general. Think about your dreams. What is it that you want to do in life? What are your dreams? Do you have plans to achieve them?
Living in the moment is beautiful but what’s really amazing is being able to appreciate everyday little things while you’re on the path to becoming exactly who you want to be.
Setting goals helps you build up your self-esteem and learning how to put yourself out there is so much easier if you feel confident in yourself and your life.
Love yourself as a single person
Don’t go thinking that the relationship you’re aiming for will necessarily change your life or your attitudes about yourself completely. Not only that it won’t but it also shouldn’t.
You are who you are. The person you choose to be your partner will be a beautiful addition to your life but you need to learn to love yourself when you’re single too.
Think about the things about you that are amazing. Praise yourself. Love yourself unconditionally. Learn to accept your flaws and try getting to know yourself better.
Do fun things and explore your inner temperament and personality. You could be surprised by how many things you still haven’t yet discovered about yourself.
Learn to love who you are on your own; that’s the person you’re bringing into the relationship and that’s the person you’ll still be, even once you find your soulmate.
Always remember that the fear of failure can stop you from living your best life. I know you’re afraid but you have to tell yourself that your desire is bigger than your fear.
Take one brave step, everything else will come on its own.