How To Get Someone To Like You Back: 20 Effective Ways To Success
So, there is this person you’re into but you simply don’t have a clue what to do about your emotions.
What should you do to make this person understand you’re worthy of a chance, what are the psychological tricks to make this person see you in a new light?Sounds familiar, right?
Well, that’s because we’ve all been there. How to get someone to like you back? How to make someone to fall in love with you?
These are the questions we’ve all asked ourself at least once during our lifetime. Well, finally, we have the answer.
Just follow these 20 pieces of dating advice and I promise you that you’ll get the person you want in no time.
1. Find out more about their relationship status
The first step many people sadly want to surpass while trying to win over their crush is getting to the bottom of this person’s relationship status.
You have to be perfectly aware that things are nowhere near like they were in the past; the line between being single and taken is becoming more and more blurred.
So, how exactly can you know whether someone is off-limits or not, if we’re talking about a person you know nothing about?
Well, you can ask your mutual friends about them and if they don’t know the answer, you’re sentenced to stalking through their social media profiles and searching for trails of a romantic partner.
If you realize that this person is not single, back off right from the start. After all, you are not a homewrecker or a third wheel and the last thing you need is dragging yourself into a situationship with a cheater.
However, even if they’re officially single, there is the possibility of them being emotionally unavailable.
Well, before making someone like you, you should definitely try finding out about their emotional baggage as well.
2. Work on your self-esteem
Before expecting someone else to like you, you have to like yourself first and feel good in your own skin and before demanding respect, you have to have a sense of self-respect.
Sounds like a cliché, I know, but trust me when I tell you that it couldn’t be truer.
Therefore, if you are on a mission of catching someone’s attention, you have to become a confident person and build an image of someone who knows what they want and is not afraid to get it.
You can’t show this special somebody your qualities unless you yourself are not completely aware of them, can you?
So, the first step is to build your confidence and to make yourself feel special. Easier said than done, I know.
Well, start with writing down all of your good sides and personality traits. What are the things which someone of the opposite sex might find appealing about you?
Every morning when you get up, look yourself in the mirror and repeat after me: “I’m beautiful, good-looking, have a sharp wit and an interesting sense of humor.
I’m worthy and there is nothing I should be afraid of.”
Don’t put all of your focus on this person because a boosted self-esteem will help you in other life areas, besides love. Make a list of short-term goals and work on them, step by step.
This way, every time you achieve something new, you’ll see how capable you actually are and that will serve you as fuel for your self-confidence.
Stop comparing yourself to others, especially to your crush’s exes. Instead, focus on your own value and the things which make you unique.
Stop thinking of this person as out of your league and get rid of pessimistic thoughts about failure.
I won’t lie to you—there always exists the possibility of this person not reciprocating your feelings. You could do everything by the book but if they don’t feel they’ve clicked with you, you can’t force them to like you.
However, for now, this is not something you should concentrate on. Instead, be certain about your success and hope for the best!
After all, even if you fail, you know it was heroically. You’ll know you tried and gave your best and you won’t have any regrets later on in the future.
3. Take care of your looks
The first thing you have to do if you want to attract someone of the opposite sex is to look your best at all times.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should go get plastic surgery just to be more similar to top models from fashion magazines because that is not the only way to get someone’s attention.
You see, people in general are quite superficial, even though most would never admit that. I’m sure you have a great personality and a lot to offer but your crush who still hasn’t had a chance to meet you can’t know that.
Therefore, in order to at least give you a chance and get the urge to dig under the multiple layers of your personality, they have to be attracted by your physical appearance first.
Of course, later on, when they see how likable you actually are, your looks will be the least important thing.
However, now it matters. After all, you yourself know that you have to be drawn by a certain person to grow more interest in them.
Therefore, start with good personal hygiene. Make sure you always shower and have clean, neat hair.
You don’t have to be dressed in branded clothes but they have to clean and ironed. Also, always dress according to the occasion and not as if you’ve put on the first thing that you spotted in your wardrobe.
Another important thing is to have a recognizable perfume which can help your crush remember you.
It doesn’t have to be anything too strong but trust me, every time they sense that scent on someone else, they’ll think of you.
4. Be positive around them
Nobody likes grumpy people and the object of your affection is no different. Yes, I know that like the rest of us, you also have the right to have a bad day every now and then.
Nevertheless, at least at first, do your best to be as positive as possible every time you’re around your crush. Smile every time you see them, make a funny comment to make them laugh and bring light into the room whenever you show up.
Be as easygoing and relaxed as you can. Don’t be a party pooper and if you have a chance to, propose fun and interesting activities where the two of you can bond.
Don’t put all of your focus on to winning this person over and try to put your feelings for them aside. Instead, become someone they enjoy hanging out with.
This approach will help you get rid of the pressure of what will happen next, it will help you stop obsessing over every little detail and it will give you a chance to be your true self.
Don’t get trapped in the friendzone but imagine this is your friend you feel comfortable next to and I assure you that they will follow.
I’m not saying that you should be a people pleaser and nod your head to everything they say just to make this person feel better but don’t argue about every little thing because that’s not the way to bring positive attention to yourself.
Don’t be a nervous drama queen who makes a fuss about everything, don’t drain their energy and don’t bring pessimism into their life.
Instead, focus on becoming someone who can always make them feel better, no matter what happens. Let them think of you as the funniest and most amusing person they ever met.
This way, you’ll not only improve their mood, but they’ll also connect the feeling of joy with you.
5. Send them body language signals
So, you’re trying to get this person to like you back—there is no doubt about that. However, at the same time, you don’t want to tell them how you feel straightforwardly.
Maybe you’re too shy to talk about your emotions, maybe you’re afraid of rejection or you’re waiting for them to make the first move.
Whatever is in question, the bottom line is that you need to find some other way to signal your infatuation to them.
Well, the best way to do so is to send the object of your affection body language signs , which have more than one benefit.
First of all, you’ll intrigue them and represent a kind of challenge. They will never be certain whether they’re imagining things or you’re really sending them hints that you’re into them.
Also, you’ll have a chance to assess their feedback just by looking at their bodily and facial expressions.
Are they responding positively to the signs you’ve been sending or are they looking at you as a creep who is invading their personal space?
Another good thing about body language signs is that they save you from getting rejected. If you see that the other person isn’t digging your signals, you pull back and avoid the awkward conversation about them not liking you back.
One of the biggest truths out there is that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. Therefore, the best way for you to express your feelings to your crush is through your eyes.
For starters, try maintaining prolonged eye contact. Every time you pass by them, give them a sexy look and check them out.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to stare like a maniac or put all of your focus on their sexual attributes. Instead, look them directly in the eyes and wait to see whether they’ll look back.
While you’re maintaining deep eye contact, the important thing is to never take the smile off your face.
After all, staring at someone with a completely serious face is creepy; you don’t want them to get the impression that you want to pick a fight or something like that.
You don’t have to hysterically laugh but make sure your facial expressions send the message that you like what you’re seeing.
While doing all of this, pay attention to whether your crush is looking back at you. What are their eyes telling you?
Don’t lose all hope even if they look away while you’re staring at them. Maybe they’re just embarrassed and need more time to relax.
The next step is to get your crush’s body used to yours and the way to do so is to accidentally touch them with every chance you get.
Of course, the most important thing here is not to cross the line, not to invade their personal space and to back off the moment you see that your closeness is disturbing your crush.
However, if that doesn’t happen, you can start by kissing them on the cheek or hugging them a little bit longer whenever you two greet.
When you’re making a point, hold their hand, put yours on their shoulder or knee when they say something funny or just hold a hand on their waist.
The lips game
You want this person to kiss you, right? Well, in that case, you have to draw their attention to your lips.
Accidentally bite your lower lip when you catch them looking at you or glance over at their lips in the middle of a conversation. Trust me—nothing says, “Kiss me,” more than this!
Being close to them
If you’re not brave enough to try and have physical contact with your crush, at least do your best to be as near them as possible.
Even though this might seem irrelevant, it actually brings you two closer and intensifies your intimacy.
When you two are in the company of others, always grab an opportunity to sit next to them. When you’re standing together, your feet should be pointed at them.
Of course, these are all the signs you can follow if you want to see whether you’re making some significant progress.
If your crush is starting to do more and more of the things mentioned above, one thing is for sure: they’re beginning to like you back.
6. Be available…
In order for someone to like you, firstly they have to get to know you. And in order for that to happen, you two have to be spending time together.
That is exactly why you should be available to the person of your interest. You can call them to hang out if you don’t want to ask them on a first date, but if they invite you somewhere, make sure to accept.
More importantly, show them that you’re there and that they can count on you.
Be the first one to offer them a hand when they need it, the one who calls to check on them when they’re feeling bad and the one who helps them with their problems when they’re going through some hard times.
When the two of you are texting, respond quickly and show them that you find their conversation important. Answer the phone when they call and never act like they’re bothering you.
7. … but a little bit mysterious
However, the trick is not to be too available either. In fact, add a little bit of mystery to your personality.
I’m not saying that you should play mind games or send mixed signals here because that is immature and will only drag both of you into an endless circle from which you won’t be able to escape.
It will just be enough not to reveal everything about yourself right away.Of course, you’ll have to show your crush your true self and expose your personality traits.
Don’t be guarded but always leave them wanting to find out more about your personal life.
This way, you’ll intrigue their imagination and become an object of their thoughts. They’ll want to know what’s hidden underneath the layers of your personality and have a desire to be the first one to get to the bottom of you.
8. Remember little things about them
One of the things that almost all people fall for is when the other person knows some little details from their life.
I’m not saying that you should appear like a stalker and reveal all the intel you’ve gathered regarding this person through your mutual friends or social media but it would be nice if you remembered something seemingly little but actually significant for your crush.
For example, surprise them by congratulating them on their birthday even though they’ve never told you the date, don’t fail to notice when they change their hairstyle and show them that you remember the name of their childhood friend they told you about ages ago.
All of this will show them how much you care and how important they are to you.
More importantly, make this person realize that you notice them and their mood swings. Pay attention to their behavior and ask them if something’s wrong whenever you see that they’re feeling low.
9. Show interest in their life
Another quality your crush is definitely looking for in their potential partner is the ability to listen. And when I advise you to listen to everything this person has to say, I’m not saying that you should just sit there quietly while they’re talking.
I’m telling you to become a good listener and their confidant in the real sense of these words. Show them that you’re devoted to everything they say and that they’re not boring you by blabbing about themselves.
Simply, show interest in their life. Ask them questions but be careful not to appear too nosy and avoid topics that might be too personal or sensitive.
Let them talk to you about their friends, family members, work and hobbies.
Also, you can include questions regarding their romantic past which can help you find out more about their relationship status and about the type of people they usually date.
Of course, you won’t be rude and expect them to tell you all the details of their past romances and love life but you two can talk about your longest relationships, toughest deal-breakers and standards.
By redirecting the communication in this direction, you’re actually sending them a hint about the field of their life which you’re most interested in.
All of this information can serve you to understand whether the two of you would potentially be compatible lovers or not.
Have you been idealizing this person just because you didn’t have a clue about them or do you like them even more, now that you’re getting to know them?
This can also be a chance for the two of you to figure out everything you have in common.
Maybe you can dig up some information about the object of your affection and find out more about their hobbies and things like that and then surprise them by talking about those things, as if you’re talking about your preferences.
However, don’t be passive in these conversations. Instead, talk to them about yourself as well.
After all, you don’t want them to conclude that you don’t have a life and that you don’t have anything to say.
10. Put in some effort…
Even though you don’t want to confess your feelings straightforwardly, you want this person to know how much they mean to you.
Therefore, you have to find the right way for them to realize the depth of your emotions.
It’s pretty simple; you have to put some effort into this entire story. Show this person that you take care of their well-being, that you want to make them feel good, that spending time with them matters to you.
Also help them out when they need assistance, make a romantic gesture which will knock them off of their feet and make them realize you’re worthy of their attention.
11. … but don’t try too hard
However, what is crucial is for you not to try too hard either.
Yes, I know that this balance is difficult to find but you need to understand that every person is different so you’ll simply have to sense the situation, follow your gut and go with the flow.
You see, when they like someone very much, many people want to please that person’s every need and they put all of their strength into winning this person over.
Well, even though this is quite sweet, the truth is that it can be counterproductive.
You don’t want to become this person’s maid or pet. They shouldn’t feel like you’ll always be there, patiently waiting for them for as long as they want.
If you go too hard on your crush, they will start thinking of you as this boring loser who suffocates them.
It’s actually simple romantic math: When you give yourself to someone on a silver platter, they know that they don’t have to put up a fight into making you theirs so they stop finding you interesting right away.
Besides, putting all of your focus on one person is not good for your own emotional and mental health. As much as you like your crush, they’re not your entire world and you should never act as if they are.
12. Do something to make them feel special
Usually, big, romantic gestures are reserved for couples only. However, if you’re wondering how to make someone fall in love with you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you throwing them a little surprise.
Of course, I’m not advising for this to be a firework, a romantic letter or a plane flying above their house, writing, “I love you,” all over the sky. Instead, do something small but make sure to make this person feel special.
It will be enough if you throw them a tiny birthday surprise or even memorize what their favorite chocolate is and buying it for them.
Whatever you do, make sure it is something unique and worth remembering.
13. Compliment them
Who doesn’t like compliments? It doesn’t matter whether your crush is male or female—either way, they enjoy hearing something nice about themselves.
Therefore, another way of making someone like you is complimenting them.
However, please, don’t be pathetic and don’t use typical compliments.
Don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t mean that you should praise their every move or applaud them when they’re clearly making a mistake because that would sound too dishonest and you would give the impression that you’re actually kissing their ass.
Nevertheless, paying them a sweet compliment every once in a while cannot bring you any harm.
These compliments don’t have to be only related to their looks. After all, you don’t want to appear superficial.
Instead, put a lot more focus on their inner beauty. Compliment their sharp mind, a certain ability, problem-solving skills, taste in music or sense of humor.
All of this will help this person understand that you’re not just trying to get into their pants—they will see that you want something serious with them.
14. Ask them for advice
Let’s be honest—all of us enjoy feeling important in someone else’s eyes. Well, if you’re trying to figure out how to get someone to fall in love with you, one of the ways to do so is to ask for their advice.
Besides boosting their ego, this can also serve you as a chance to see whether your attitudes are compatible and similar or not.
Is this person telling you something you probably wouldn’t do in a million years or are they advising you to do something you would probably do without them?
After all, you’re not asking for the opinion of everyone you run into. Instead, you only do this with someone you appreciate and think fondly of.
This fact alone will be proof enough for this person to see how important they are to you.
15. Be your best self
So, you’re a living human being made of flesh and blood. It is natural for you to have a set of flaws both you and everyone around you dislikes.
However, when you’re trying to attract someone, you won’t show all of your bad sides right away. Instead, you’ll be your best self in their presence.
No, this is not me telling you to pretend you’re someone you’re not or to change yourself for the sake of this potential relationship.
What I’m saying is that you should just put some effort into showing this special someone your most appealing sides.
Make them realize how much of a caring and loving person you are and let them see a snippet of how their life would look if they decide to share it with you.
Show them that you’re one of a kind and that you’re nowhere else to be found. Show them your empathy, wisdom, maturity and politeness.
To put things simply, in this phase, it is your job to convince this person that you’re boyfriend/girlfriend material, that you’re worthy of a chance and later on, of their love.
16. Show your communication skills
When you want to win someone over, you have to be armed with awesome communication skills.
You have to interest them in talking to you before anything else, so it would be for the best to look up some conversation starters and pick up lines.
Besides being a good listener, become a great talker as well. Don’t be cheesy and don’t use the usual phrases they probably heard a million times before.
When the opportunity arises, tease them a little bit and make them wonder what you actually wanted to say. Include some love or sex talk only when you see that you have positive feedback and only if the moment allows you to.
In the meantime, focus on asking some deep questions which will represent a kind of challenge for them and make them think.
Don’t engage in too much small talk and don’t make them feel as if they’re being interrogated—just let the conversation flow its natural course.
Remember that it is your job to prevent awkward silences and to improve your communication.
If you know you’ll be seeing this special someone but have absolutely no idea what to talk about with them, come up with a list of interesting topics that might amuse them.
Using humor in conversations is always a plus but it is quite important not to exaggerate. Be careful about not crossing the line or using too vulgar jokes unless you want to be perceived as immature or not serious enough.
Don’t be judgmental and let them speak. Respect their opinion even if you disagree with it but don’t be scared of saying yours either.
17. Use social media to your advantage
Modern dating rules have brought many obstacles and problems to romantic relationships.
And even though most say that social media is one of those bumps in the road, if you play your cards right, it can be your best ally.
Even when you don’t know anything about the person of your interest and have no way of approaching them in person, you can always do the easiest possible thing—follow them or add them as a friend on some of your social media accounts.
After they accept your request, like or comment on their post updates or photos.
You can send them a private message regarding something they posted which can serve you as an excellent ice-breaker for further communication.
Also, if you’re too shy to approach this person face-to-face, this is the way to go. You have more time to think of a reply while you two are texting and they cannot see your nervousness from the other side of the screen.
18. Get yourself a wingman
You might find this step childish but the truth is that it has helped out a lot of people who didn’t have the courage to seal the deal on their own.
Don’t worry, your fear of approaching the opposite sex doesn’t make you weak and it has nothing to do with your age or experience; it is perfectly normal and it only means that you’re head over heels for someone.
If this is what you can relate to, your solution is to find yourself a wingman. I’m not saying that this person has to literally approach your crush and ask for their number, like in the movies.
However, this should be your mutual friend and someone you both trust unconditionally.
Yes, in this case, your wingman will be violating your crush’s trust but that will happen just because they’re aware of your feelings and want what’s best for both of you.
This is someone who will give you intel about your person’s romantic status, love life history and, most importantly, their opinion of you.
Are you making any progress? Are things going in your favor and are they starting to like you? Or do you repulse them and they can’t wait to get rid of you?
Get yourself a wingman and you’ll know!
19. Demand respect
Looking at all the steps above, it might seem like you should obey your crush at all costs. Well, even though winning them over is your final goal, it doesn’t make you submissive or less worthy in this situation.
Instead, the way to make someone like you is to demand respect. You won’t literally ask them to give it to you but from day one, you have to act as if you won’t tolerate any disrespect.
You’re a mature person who has a lot of self-respect, who appreciates and loves themselves and you want the same treatment from everyone else as well.
Just because you like this special somebody very much, it doesn’t mean you’ll put up with any of their crap to have them by your side.
Your time, friends, desires and, most importantly, feelings matter and are in no way less important than theirs.
Yes, you want them but that doesn’t mean that you’re ready to lose yourself completely just to have them.
This step is much more crucial than you might think. Besides being significant to your own sense of self-worth and self-respect, as well as your mental and emotional health, it is also a way for your crush to take your seriously and not to try and play with you in the future.
It is a way to challenge them and make them more interested than ever before. A way to make them fall for you as hard as you fell for them.
20. Be open about your feelings
Finally, if you see that none of this works out, it’s time to be honest about your feelings.
Yes, I know that this is something you want to avoid but your confession won’t come out of the blue—you’ll do a lot of things which will both relax you and prepare the person of your interest for it.
You have to realize that some people simply don’t take the hint and need to be told things directly in order to truly understand them. And if your crush is like that, you have no other choice but to come clean.
Of course, this doesn’t have to be some huge, romantic love declaration. You won’t tell them that you love them deeply and can’t live without them because that is not the truth.
On the contrary, you can just say that lately you’ve started seeing them as more than a friend and that you would like to give it a shot.
After all, if you are scared of getting tongue-tied when you finally face them, you can always write yourself a little speech (which shouldn’t look rehearsed) and practice everything you want to tell them.
Maybe this is what it takes for them to start perceiving you in a completely new light and something which will help them understand they have been into you as well all along without even being aware of it.
Let them think about your words and don’t pressure them to give you an answer right away.
They might be shocked by your confession, despite all the signals you’ve been sending, and need time to sort out their thoughts and feelings.
However, don’t wait forever. Agree on a deadline by which they have to give you a response and if they don’t contact you in that given period of time, everything is more than clear.
Whatever happens, remember to be proud of yourself for trying and please, don’t let the worst possible case scenario ruin your self-esteem.
On the other hand, if you do succeed, which you probably will, congratulations because you’ve managed to make your crush like you back.