We all know a guy who dated a questionable woman that made us scratch our heads. We couldn’t for the life of us understand what he was doing with her. Guys can get into toxic relationships too, and it can be just as hard for them to realize they need to leave them. Usually, it’s a guy’s friends that see the signs before they do.
There are always warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes, we can be blinded by love, but if you know the signs beforehand, you can get out of it. You might be surprised what some of these signs are. Check out these 20 early red flags most men ignore about their women (& really shouldn’t).
She Never Invites You To Her Place
If you have never been to her apartment, there might be a reason for that. When you are dating someone, it’s pretty common for you to be at her house and for you to bring her to your house. If you guys are always hanging out at your house, you might want to ask yourself why. According to a user on Huffington Post, he should have listened to that sign. “We never went over to her apartment to hang out — we always went to mine. Turns out, she was still married.”
She’s A Self-Proclaimed Drama Queen
You really gotta watch out for those drama queens. A self-proclaimed drama queen is someone who enjoys drama and they revel in being in that kind of role. She’s going to want to be the center of attention all the time.
This kind of girl can be very confident and that’s an attractive quality. But this kind of behavior will get old quickly because her needs will always come before yours.
It’s best to avoid this personality altogether because she is bound to cause you some trouble.
She’s Wishy-Washy With You
If a girl can’t really commit to you and doesn’t really know what she wants out of a relationship, then you are bound to get hurt. Girls who are wishy-washy are going to be trouble because they are likely to trample on your heart. A Huffington Post user knows exactly what that’s like.
“She said, ‘Let’s downgrade from a relationship. But still higher than a friendship!'”
Now that sounds like a girl who has no idea what she wants and is just playing games with his heart.
You Hate All Of Her Friends
You know what they say, “You are who you hang out with,” and that says a lot about the people that you choose to have in your life. If you hate all your girlfriend’s friends that might tell you something about the girl that you are dating. The thing is, your girlfriend probably has a lot in common with her friends — that’s why they are friends. It’s easier to notice annoying behavior in other people because you aren’t in love with them.
Watch How She Handles An Argument
Your first argument is going to be very telling to what you can expect in your future with this girl. If she is irrational and aggressive, then chances are you might want to run away from her.
If she is calm and collected, she may have healthier ways of dealing with the relationship.
A Post user stated, “During my first fight with my last girlfriend, the very first thing she did was grab a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and start drinking out of it to enhance the fight. I should have seen that one coming.”
She Says All Her Exes Are Jerks
If a girl states that all her exes are jerks that should tell you something. Usually, someone who says that is likely the problem in the relationship. Sure, maybe there is a chance that all her exes are jerks, which means that she has terrible judgment. Or maybe it has more to do with the fact that her personality is what attracts the jerks to her. She is also likely downplaying her role in the demise of at least some of her relationships.
She’s Extremely Clingy Toward You
Clinginess is usually a bad sign because it will likely mean that you will never have a moment of peace if you go out without your girlfriend. “The clinginess. Pretty much all she wanted to do all the time was cuddle (in bed, watching a TV show, etc).
If I said I wanted a break just to chill out to surf the Internet for an hour, she got upset because she didn’t know how I could ‘just ignore’ someone who loved me and wanted to be with me.
I found that weird. In my mind, chilling out and doing different things in the same room implies you’re together.”
She Still Has Some Contact With Her Ex
If you catch your girlfriend in contact with her ex, then that could be a huge red flag. No good usually comes out of a situation like that. A Huffington Post user had a bad experience with it.
“I caught her texting her ex ‘I love you.’ Brushed it off. I caught her doing it again. Brushed it off. I noticed she wouldn’t post anything related to me on any social network. Ignored it.
I made a three-course meal for Valentine’s Day, candlelight and all that crap and tried to put one picture up on Facebook. She immediately told me to take it down. It was the last straw when she had her ex at her graduation ceremony and he stayed at a freaking condo with her and her mom.”
She Is Flaky In Her Lif3
Someone who is flaky can end up being untrustworthy in a relationship because you can’t depend on her. One way you can tell if she is going to be flaky in the relationship is to watch how she is in her life. Does she flake on her friends and employers? Is she always calling in sick or not showing up for her family? These are things to watch out for when you are determining if you want to be with this person.
She Doesn’t Like To Be Labeled As A Girlfriend
That’s a huge red flag that you are going to have problems with this girl in the long run. If she doesn’t like to be called your “girlfriend” it might be because she doesn’t see you as a long-term plan. A Huffington Post user said,
“She was afraid of ‘labels’ like ‘girlfriend.’ And near the end, she started making excuses not to see me.
The last week, I told her I was going to come over and I missed her and would buy us tickets to Comic-Con. She then ‘fesses up over instant messenger that she met a guy the week previously and that she now had a boyfriend.”
She Treats People Unkindly
This could be anyone, whether it’s her parents or waiter. You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat others. If she is the type of person who is unkind to the server at dinner, then that says a lot about them.
Psychologists have determined that people who are unkind to strangers are showing you what their social conscience or level of empathy is toward other humans.
It could also be a sign that they are emotionally immature.
She Insists On Being Treated Like A Princess
A girl who expects to be treated like a princess is someone who is going to be more trouble than she’s worth. It’s the sense of entitlement that becomes a problem. The reason for this is because her needs will always come first.
She will be less interested in your happiness and that’s not very healthy for a relationship to flourish.
When she doesn’t get her way, there is likely to be contempt, resentment and even anger. A “princess” is likely to get quite angry when she doesn’t get her own way.
She’s Never Where She Says She Will Be
Someone who is going to be unfaithful will lie about her whereabouts. If she says she’s going to be somewhere and you find out that she was not there or that she left early and went somewhere else, she could be deceiving you. One Huffington Post user experienced something similar, “No Bible study group meeting goes on till 11:30 p.m. I should have known better.” This is a great example of a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.
The Two Of You Argue All The Time
Everyone is going to argue at some point in their relationship but if all you do is argue, then that’s a real problem. Experts have determined that in order to have a healthy relationship the ratio for positive to negative interactions should be 5:1. If it’s the opposite for you, then you need to re-evaluate your whole relationship.
Not only are you in an unhealthy relationship, but all the fighting is bound to make you miserable.
If this is happening at the beginning, you can bet it’s only going to get worse the longer you are with each other.
She Gets Mad When You Go Out With Friends
It’s perfectly healthy for both you and your girlfriend to have time alone or to spend time apart with your respective friends. If your girlfriend gets upset and angry every time that you go out with your friends, then you can expect to have these problems throughout your whole relationship.
Some women take it personally when you want to spend time with anyone but them, and that’s not a good sign.
In fact, it’s pretty selfish. A good woman will understand that you need some downtime apart from each other.
She Never Apologizes When She’s In The Wrong
When the two of you are arguing and she’s the one in the wrong at some point, healthy couples will apologize when it’s their fault. If your girlfriend never apologizes or even admits wrongdoing in a relationship, that’s a huge red flag.
“What you want to see is a partner who quickly admits to wrong because the feelings of guilt register without much defensiveness or denial.
Long arguments where you have to convince your partner that he or she was wrong or should feel guilty are a definite reason to worry,” says Psychologist Dr. Van Epp.
She Wants To Know Your Whereabouts All The Time
A girl that has to check up on you at all times is likely someone who is very insecure. That’s not going to bring anything good into your relationship. If you find that she is constantly texting you and checking up on your whereabouts, especially if she is showing up at your house to make sure you are home, that’s bad news.
“The first red flag? When she said, ‘What are you doing tonight? Why haven’t you called me yet?’
We had just seen a movie and had lunch together.”
She Has A Bad Relationship With Her Parents
If someone has a bad relationship with their parents that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are the bad ones. There could have been something wrong with the person’s parents. But as you get serious with her, you will see how she interacts with her parents. She will show her true colors and you will likely see if she is the reason why there is discord between her and her parents. If she is someone who is close to her family, then that’s great news for your relationship. If she has a terrible relationship with her parents and it’s her fault, then that will likely leak into your relationship.
She’s Very Inflexible In The Relationship
Someone who can go with the flow is someone who will be able to get through the ups and downs of a relationship. If your girlfriend is someone who is never willing to compromise and is very hard headed when it comes to what she wants, that’s going to be very hard to manage over the years.
She may get frazzled any time things don’t go her way and that’s likely to cause a lot of problems in the relationship.
They say the best way to gauge a relationship is to go on vacation together. If things don’t go as planned, you will see how your partner deals with the situation.
She Crosses The Line At Times
If she gets violent during arguments or when she doesn’t get her way, that’s a really bad sign. Men are just as likely as women to become victims of domestic violence. Even if her punches don’t hurt you, violence is not a good thing in a relationship and a girl shouldn’t think that it’s okay to hit anyone. Consider it a red flag if she has violent tendencies. If she is a violent person, it’s likely because she has emotional issues that she needs to deal with. It’s not something to brush off, it’s something that needs to be taken seriously.