Suddenly, you hear the sound of a metaphorical record scratch in the distance. You and your new partner have discussed the direction of your relationship, and he’s told you he wants to take it slow. If multiple thoughts are going through your head, you’re not alone! On one hand, you’re feeling admiration for your guy, because speaking up when it comes to a sensitive subject can feel absolutely nerve-wracking. On the other hand, you might be feeling a bit of disappointment creeping in. You may find yourself asking a myriad of questions, like, “Do his hesitations have anything to do with me personally?” or “Does this mean he isn’t going to feel serious about me?”
If you find yourself tossing and turning over your new guy’s desire to keep your relationship on the slow side, often you needn’t worry. When asked about moving slowly within a relationship, many men on Reddit have reported positive reasons behind their reluctance to move fast.
In a dating climate ruled by swipe culture and social media, understanding that your new partner wants to take things slowly could be a blessing in disguise. Read on to discover 20 reasons why he might want to slow things down a bit.
20He Wants To See If They’re Compatible
Believe it or not, interacting with your potential partner in real life can be a strange experience. You may have spent hours talking online and scrolling through each other’s profiles, but when you advance to the stage of hanging out together in the real world, the getting-to-know-you process can take on new meaning.
The conversation may have flowed via text, but your real-life interaction may feel like it’s lacking for whatever reason. Real-life compatibility is important to figure out! He might want to take things slowly in order to see if you two mesh well.
19He’s Too Busy With Other Commitments
Keeping in mind that we aren’t the center of our new beau’s world may seem obvious, but it’s easy to get lost in our fantasies when we’re getting to know them! We know we want to be at the forefront of their minds, so the best way to make sure it happens is to allow the conversation to flow, and enjoy the ride.
As disappointing as it may be, sometimes a guy understands he doesn’t have the time to give us that we’re worthy of. He may want to make sure his commitments don’t overshadow his time with us.
18He Doesn’t Want To Text Too Much
Many of us use online dating or have our go-to dating apps when we want to meet someone, so we’re already incorporating the use of texting into relationships, even at the earliest stages. When we’ve found someone interesting and we’re on the verge of “graduating” from talking exclusively in our favourite app to acquiring their number, it’s a new ball game.
Some of us are just natural-born texters, and we don’t think about how others read into our messages. If your guy knows his “texting thumbs” are on fire, this may be a good reason to take things slower so you don’t rush through the process.
17It Takes Him A While To Adjust
As much as we’d hate to admit it, even if we feel like we’re clicking with the person we’re talking to, wrapping our heads around getting to know someone new can be time-consuming. After all, you two were once strangers, and adding a new person to our already packed “people rosters” can call for a bit of adjustment.
If your guy seems as if he’s acting shy, he might be adjusting to you. Being mindful of how long it can take for some people to open up to others can be solved by taking it slow in a new relationship.
16He Doesn’t Want To Make The Same Mistakes
A new relationship symbolises starting over, and allowing the possibilities of starting fresh to happen. Chances are, both of you have been in relationships before, and you have respective reasons for the end of those relationships.
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Moving on and realizing you’re ready to be with someone new is a giant and commendable step, but don’t be surprised if your guy seems a little cautious in the beginning.
If he seems like he’d like to take it slow, he’s allowing for the relationship to naturally unfold. He wants to make sure he isn’t going to be making the same mistakes with you.
15He’s Afraid She’ll Lose Interest
When you meet someone new, you want the exhilarating feeling to last as long as possible. Wanting to feel the positive feelings and the new butterflies as long as you can is important. You want to relish in every second of your relationship.
Understandably, the excitement of a new relationship can soon become routine, so if your guy tells you he’d like to take things slow, he may be afraid of you feeling bored and losing interest in him, or going any further into a potential relationship. By drawing out aspects of the relationship, this can be prevented from happening.
14He’s Going Through Something
Unfortunately, even when we think we know someone really well, we may not always know every single side to them. Some people may be more reserved than others and would prefer to keep certain details to themselves for a number of reasons, especially early on in a relationship.
Providing for someone else in a relationship requires giving it your all, and providing as much emotional support as you’re capable of giving another person isn’t always easy. If you’re going through something big in life, it can be difficult to provide and step up to the relationship plate. If your guy is honest about something he’s going through, let him take things slowly so he can get his head in the game.
13Friendship Can Be Fun
Honestly, the thought of friendship with someone you really have an interest in can be a huge drag and feel like a disappointment. Try to keep an open mind. Starting a friendship first can allow for you two to build a strong basis for your relationship without the pressure and anxiety dating can bring.
Starting a potential relationship by keeping it strictly on a platonic level can allow you to approach the relationship in a level-headed fashion. If you find out that the sparks aren’t flying between you two and you feel like you’re kissing your brother, consider staying friends.
12She Reminds Him Of His Ex
Now, this could be a tough realisation to swallow. Your guy might want to take it a little slower because you remind him of his ex-girlfriend. No matter how big or small the reminder may be, noting the similarity can potentially feel really uncomfortable when he’s in the midst of letting go of her in order to move on with you.
Allowing the relationship’s progress to move slowly will give him time to get over the similarities or comparisons he’s made with his ex. Getting to know you and discovering new and interesting factors about you will wash them away!
11It Takes A While To Get To Know Someone
Success, no matter what type, can take time to achieve. Remembering this may be difficult, especially with relationships we really want to have. Coming together in order to build a strong foundation for a relationship should ensure its success and be a good measurement of how comfortable the two of you are together.
If you rush into a relationship, you’ll skip those crucial stages of getting to know your partner inside and out.
Entering into a relationship stage you two aren’t ready for can have the potential to derail your future together. Be patient and kind to yourselves!
10He’s Afraid He Won’t Be Able To Meet Her Needs
Navigating relationships can be difficult, because there’s a lot of “relating” to do with your partner. It is healthy to discuss what you’re looking for in a relationship early on because you’ll likely save a great deal of heartache for both parties. Some couples are looking for someone to be fun and carefree with, and others want to concentrate on meeting the love of their lives, and they don’t want to waste time.
If you two don’t have this conversation, there’s a chance he might wonder if he’s measuring up to be the type of person you need. It’s better to say what’s on your mind right from the start and take things slow if you need to get in sync.
9He Doesn’t Want To Overstep Her Boundaries
It goes without saying that dating can be an extremely emotional experience for everyone, and some people may have different or more emotional reactions than others when it comes to various dating situations. Of course, it’s imperative to treat your partner with respect, and be open with them regarding the age-old question of “how much is too much?”
Assessing someone’s boundaries is a quintessential aspect of dating someone new. You have to take your time getting to know your partner and have open and honest communication with them. Respect is key in a relationship, right? Let him in on your boundaries!
8He Doesn’t Want Dates To Be Boring
When you get to the first-date stage, planning your date can be full of endless possibilities! As you and your new guy get to know each other, he’ll have ample opportunity to craft ideas for personalized dates, but then again, there are oh-so-many possibilities for date ideas until they begin to feel a little tired and unoriginal.
Dating and spending time together plays a strong role in getting to know one another, and the desire to keep your activities exciting is normal. He may want to take the time to craft an extremely memorable date you’ll never forget.
7He Doesn’t Want To Let Her Down
Let’s be real. We’ve all had certain dating fantasies which date back to our childhoods where we would obsessively watch Disney films and countless romantic comedies. Sometimes our expectations are fully formed when we go into real-life dating situations.
When we first start dating, our dudes might want to take things slow because they’d like to be respectful and preserve those girlhood fantasies of ours. If we take things too fast, we might feel let down, even if we’re not meaning to! Reality can absolutely be better than those fantasies, after all. It just takes time to get there.
6He’s Afraid Of Letting His Guard Down
Everyone comes with a history before they meet you. Previous relationships can set the tone for your partner’s feelings about entering into a new relationship, even before he has the opportunity to fully get to know you. We’ve all been hurt from previous relationships, and it can vary from person to person when it comes to how long it will take to overcome those feelings.
Developing trust within a new relationship takes time, and your guy may have been really hurt in the past. It takes time for someone to open up, so be patient with him.
5He’s Taking His Time
When you’re feeling excited within a new relationship, it can be tempting to reveal every thought that flows through your head, but does your partner really need to hear about every emotional trauma you’ve ever experienced on the first date?
If you notice your guy seems to be playing it coy when it comes to revealing details about his life, he wants to first get a feel for who you are as a person and he really doesn’t want to scare you away. He wants to feel comfortable with you, and wait until it feels right to reveal details.
4He Wants To Hang In Groups
When you’re put into a situation where you have to make conversation with a near stranger in a public setting in real life, the pressure can be ramped up big time. If your new guy suggests your first meet-up involves other people, like some friends so you can have a group date, don’t worry.
Throwing yourselves into a one-on-one situation too quickly before both of you are ready for it can feel extremely stressful. Maybe he just wants to get to know you a bit better in a relaxed setting without all that pressure.
3He Needs Time To Himself
Spending too much time together in a new relationship can easily happen without either one of you realizing it’s happening. You’re having fun and enjoying each other’s company, and don’t think it’s a big deal. If your partner wants to spend some time away from you, perhaps to do his own thing, that’s not a bad thing.
He wants to take time to enjoy every step of the dating process without things becoming boring. A bit of time apart and mystery can keep the anticipation going. Remember, dating’s not meant to be a race!
2He Cares About Self-Accountability
Knowing yourself on a deeper level is beneficial to a relationship; you know how you handle certain situations and have an idea of how you’re going to react, especially if the situation is tough.
In some cases, we have qualities about ourselves we’d like to change; how many of us have overreacted in an argument with our significant others, and have said things we wish could be taken back?
Taking things slow for the purpose of self-accountability is important. Your guy wants you to see he understands himself and wants to avoid making careless mistakes!
1He Tells Her Straight Up That He Wants To Take It Slow, Because He Actually Wants To TAKE IT SLOW
As cliche as it might sound, honesty is the best policy, especially in relationships. Do you remember that saying from your childhood by the author of timeless literature, Mark Twain, that goes “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything?”
Not only does his quote ring true for the health of your subconscious, but choosing to be honest with your guy is the easiest option. Building a foundation of trust can ensure a healthy relationship down the road! By telling you he wants to take it slow, he cares about the health and longevity of your relationship.