“…because wherever I sat—on the deck of a ship or at a street café in Paris or Bangkok—I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air.” – Sylvia Plath
Depression can manifest itself in many different ways.
Sometimes, you can’t get up from your bed and sometimes you are functioning quite normally, but you are unaware that depression is slowly sneaking into your life until it’s too late.
People deal with depression in different ways, so there are no accurate characteristics which can show you whether you are depressed or not.
Depression is not something you can get over in a day and you have to realize it takes time to come out of the ‘depression battle’ as a winner.
One more thing you have to realize is that you shouldn’t go to this war all by yourself if you don’t have the strength because you will probably lose. It’s always better to find someone on whom you can rely and on whom you can trust.
If you, for some reason, don’t feel comfortable enough in sharing your problems with your friends or family, you should seek professional help.
Maybe this advice sounds strange, but most people don’t realize why they are acting in certain ways—DING-DONG! HI, IT’S ME, DEPRESSION!
Here are some things you might be doing because of your depression:
1. You are in denial
When you are depressed, you won’t admit it. You will pretend that everything is peachy.
Usually, people who smile the most are hurting the most. But, the catch is they won’t let anyone see through them, so they will build a defense mechanism in the shape of a smile.
Beneath that mask you put on as the rest of us, you are empty, sad and drained.
2. You are doubting people
You are always second-guessing when someone gives you attention or treats you with some honest, kind words.
This happens because you have self-worth issues. You can’t accept the fact that someone can like you for who you are.
You are always looking for ulterior motives people might have when taking an interest in you.
Often, you think people are faking interest or they are showing you affection out of pity.
3. You need your time alone
Every now and then you need your private time. People who don’t struggle with depression, can’t understand why those who do need some time alone.
You need to gather your thoughts and re-evaluate your life. Depression is constantly pulling you down and you need to find reasons to keep going up.
That is why you need to be alone, so you can convince yourself life is worth living and that you have to keep on fighting.
That is the only way you will survive, by keeping on fighting.
4. You are pushing people away
You are isolating yourself from the ones you love because you are afraid you will unconsciously hurt them.
You are doing this for their sakes. With every canceled date, you are terrified that your friends or family will think less of you.
If they truly love you and they are aware of your illness, they will give you enough space because they know you didn’t have the strength to get up from the bed that morning or you just couldn’t go out.
Even though the sun is shining outside, there’s a storm raging inside of you.
5. You are drained
You are worn out all the time. You don’t have any strength left to perform primary life functions.
Things that other people perform every day represent a constant struggle to you because you are tired all the time.
No matter how many hours you have slept, you can’t get any rest. Depression occupies your mind, so if your mind is tired, it is impossible to rest your body.
6. You avoid talking about the future
Anytime someone brings up future events, you start freaking out. The future scares you because you are fighting to survive in your present.
The idea of looking at your own future is intimidating you, too. You have just come to terms with your present, so any future scenario that changes your present makes you feel uncomfortable because you know you will have to struggle all over again to accept it.
7. You reach out for drugs and alcohol
This is the easiest but most deceiving thing you can do. When you drink a few glasses of wine, your problems disappear for a moment. You start to feel better because you stop thinking about your life and your problems for a while.
But, even you know that is just a temporary solution. Alcohol or drugs won’t solve anything because when you wake up, depression will make you ‘her’ prisoner all over again.
8. You “eat” your emotions or lose appetite
Many people find comfort in food because food makes them experience satisfaction and by eating, they are filling the void depression has caused. But, that void will never be fulfilled as long as the depression is ruling your ‘emotional kingdom’.
This can go in the opposite direction as well. As most people, you can lose your appetite instead of eating all the time. Depression is causing you to lose energy and enthusiasm which can affect your appetite.
Keep in mind that depression is a serious illness, but the most important thing is that it is curable. It is extremely hard to snap out of depression because it is putting you in a rut from which you think can’t get away, but you can.
You have to remember that you are in charge of your body and mind. If you really and firmly decide you won’t let depression control you, you will get better. Don’t ever give up, because each of us only has one life and it is worth living.
You just need to open your eyes and make yourself believe life is beautiful because it is. It just depends on how you look at it.
Be brave and fight anything negative that life throws at you because you will only grow stronger and in the end, nothing will take you down because you are a fighter.