I’m pretty sure that you’re familiar with that famous phrase: There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s me. As a matter of fact, this happened to me and also to a few of my friends as well, where they were each dating a guy for a few weeks and everything seemed perfect.
They were one hundred percent sure that they would establish a healthy, committed relationship (just like me). And then, all of a sudden, the guy told them that he didn’t want anything serious. To be more specific, the guy told them that he was NOT INTERESTED in anything serious.
Lord knows when someone tells me this, I instantly withdraw and respect their opinion because I’m definitely not desperate and neither are my friends. But what happened next is what actually caught my attention.
Not long after saying that they were not interested in anything serious, every single one of them was in a serious, committed relationship. Oh, the irony! At first, my only desire was to erase all of the male species from the planet but then I came to a more rational solution.
Since there’s no point in holding grudges forever, my friends and I decided to look at things from a different perspective. We tried to understand and explain this phenomenon of the guy ‘who wants something casual’ but then commits to the next girl and if you’re going through the same, here are 7 possible reasons why he committed to another girl after going casual with you!
1. He does want commitment, he just doesn’t want it with you
I know it sounds harsh but sometimes it’s the truth. Many guys out there really do want commitment but with the right one. Now, what does this mean? This definitely doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or that you should have changed for him only to make him commit to you. No.
It means you just weren’t meant to be together and there’s no point in blaming him for committing to the next girl. Actually, you should thank him for not committing to you because he just saved you lots of anxiety and saved you from an even more painful heartbreak.
2. He has no idea what he wants
And there’s this other category of guys who have no idea what they really want. To me, personally, this is the worst one. When a guy has no idea what he wants, with whom he wants it, when or how, the chances that he will fuck things up are really high.
And not to mention that being indecisive is a huge turn-off for any woman out there. So, if he said one thing to you one day and another thing the next, you know that he had no idea what he really wanted (and you can praise the Lord he left).
And even if he decided to commit to you, soon he would probably change his mind and repeat the same scenarios over and over again. I mean, who needs this in their life? Exactly no one.
3. He was already seeing someone else
Here’s an interesting one. There are some guys who, due to being indecisive or just due to being the ultimate assholes, choose to date two girls simultaneously (of course, without telling them this). You can probably guess the rest of the scenario.
He dated both of you and all of a sudden he realized that he liked the other girl more, so he decided to commit to her and abandon you. Ah, the world we live in. You can also interpret this as his unwillingness to hurt your feelings or his unwillingness to get caught in the act. You choose.
4. It was just the wrong time
And then sometimes things are really good but the timing is not right. Maybe something happened in his life that changed his perspective on relationships at the time when he was with you. And when he met the other girl, the timing was just right.
Again, I would link this one with the first one that says you just weren’t meant to be. After all, when two people are bound to be together, there is just no wrong time. And if it is wrong, they would surely meet again when the time is right. When you look at the things this way, it seems pretty reasonable.
5. He’s facing external pressure
Believe it or not, sometimes guys are facing external pressure from their friends or family. Sometimes the people close to them don’t really like the girl they are dating, so they feel pressured to quit things. If you’ve noticed that any of this was going on, then this could be the reason why he committed to another girl after going casual with you.
Again, if this is the reason why he did that, it only shows his weakness and fickleness. It means he doesn’t trust himself and he dances to other people’s tunes. Now, I’m not saying that he should never listen to his friends and family no matter what. Indeed he should but he should also listen to himself as well and that is the main characteristic of real men.
6. His associations with commitment changed after losing you
When you mention the word ‘commitment’ to any guy, he will see it as something imprisoning. Boys and young men are encouraged to have fun, explore the world and only after to settle down to commit. And if the guy you were dating didn’t go through any of this, he will feel imprisoned with you and he will tell you that he is not interested in or ready for anything serious.
And after he’s had his fun and explored the world, his associations with commitment will change. So, when he meets the next suitable girl, he will choose to commit to her because he feels he’s finally ready for it.
7. He really didn’t want commitment but the right one came along
And the last but not the least. There are some guys who really didn’t want commitment, not with you or with any others but somehow the right one came along after you.
If this is the case, you can’t really blame him because he was consistent in his decision that he didn’t want commitment but then he was kind of forced to change his mind because he finally met the right one. And I can assure you that the same will happen to you sooner than you think and you will be happy that things didn’t work out with the guy who refused to commit.