It is not easy to mend a broken heart after ending a long and meaningful relationship. While some people take their time and wait to be completely healed from their past relationship, some jump into the next one, not wasting any time, probably because they just don’t know how to be by themselves.
Dating again after having been in a long-term relationship can be daunting and you may find yourself ill-prepared for everything that comes with it. New people, blind dates, having to do this dating thing all over again from scratch, not to mention putting your heart out there again, only to possibly end up hurt again.
In order to make sure you are really READY for this and all it entails, here are some guidelines as to what to expect and to help you to not lose yourself in the process and keep your heart intact:
1. It’s not like the movies
You’ll end up disappointed if you expect this instant sexy chemistry to happen right away. Just because you don’t feel the tingles on the first date doesn’t mean you should write the guy off.
This is not a movie. It takes time to develop any kind of chemistry with someone and it can easily occur on the second or third date.
It’s important to give it some time to turn into something real.
2. Make sure you’re completely back to your old self
If you were in a long-term relationship, it is possible that you may have lost some of your passions, hobbies or interests that were there before your partner came along. Those are all the things that make you who you are and are a big part of you!
In order to have something to talk about to future dates, you need to get back to those things you love and remind yourself why.
Don’t lose yourself in the process of finding someone else!
3. Don’t expect too much too soon
Don’t go on dates with the single goal of finding Mr. Right. Rather, look at it as something fun to do, the possibility meeting someone interesting and maybe even finding that special someone!
Don’t put too much pressure on it. Relax and go with an open mind. Not every experience is going to be perfect and not every guy will blow your mind. You have to have a healthy approach and be realistic.
You never know what might happen! That’s the whole beauty of putting yourself out there.
4. Learn how to flirt again
Chances are, after a long-term relationship, your flirting skills aren’t exactly top-notch but no worries. You can always re-learn how to flirt with cute guys! That is the least of your problems.
Socialize, go out with your friends, make up scenarios in your head, and it will all come back naturally to you. It can actually be exciting revisiting the old flirting grounds and seeing your old self back in action! More power to you!
5. Expand your horizons
I’m sure you have a ‘type’. We all do. But clearly, it didn’t work out so well for you and this is the perfect opportunity to experiment and date guys you would normally not consider your type! You will never know what you might be missing out on if you don’t take chances!
You are so used to a certain type of guy that looking for someone different might seem scary but you have to give yourself the chance to explore all your options! You will thank yourself later.
When you learn to get out of your comfort zone is when you’ll realize how much more there is that you were denying yourself!
6. Bad dates can turn into fun stories
Wouldn’t it be just perfect if every date went exactly as you have planned and expected? Well, life obviously doesn’t work that way and that’s not necessarily a bad thing! You can always reminisce about those dates that didn’t go so well and turn them into fun anecdotes that you will laugh about with your friends!
And later, maybe even your boyfriend! Go out there, and be sure that either way, you’ll get something good out of it. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it will get.