20 Ways Women Can Tell He’s NOT The One, According To Experts
It can be difficult for a person to know when they have found the one. Sometimes a partner has so much going for them and does so many things right that it seems absurd to consider just for a minute that they might not actually be the partner a person is supposed to be with.
The one, their soulmate, the person they are supposed to end up with, their moon and stars etc. will simply be the person that makes them happier than anybody else can. They won’t complete their other half’s life, but they will complement it. They’ll enhance it. Being with them might come with challenges, but those challenges will be worth it.
There are several ways to tell when the person that someone is with isn’t really the one, as confusing as it might be to pay attention to them all. If a significant other really is the one, they’ll make their love a priority. The two will share an emotional connection. Each will be able to trust the other and be themselves around their partner without judgment.
More than anything, they’ll have a gut feeling that will tell them whether it’s right or not.
Keep reading to find out the different ways to tell whether a current partner is the right one or the wrong one.
20His Needs Are Always More Important Than Hers
When someone is meant for you, your needs will be important to them. They will sometimes go out of their way to make you happy, and be willing to compromise so your needs are being met.
That’s not to say that they’ll become a doormat and forget about their needs altogether—there will simply be balance in the relationship.
You will both care about whether your partner is happy. It’s a clear sign that he’s not the one if he couldn’t care less about what you need to be happy, or if he only cares when his needs have been taken care of first.
19She Feels Like She Can’t Be Herself
It’s essential that you’re able to be yourself around the person you end up with. They should love you for who you are. Not will be able to handle all aspects of your personality, but that’s why different people are compatible and incompatible. It’s not about changing yourself so the one you’re interested in will love you. Instead, it’s about finding the one who loves you for who you are.
They might not like everything about you, but they have to love the good parts so much that they’re willing to stick around through the bad habits that also make you who you are.
18There’s Too Much Difference In Their Life Goals
In an ideal world, logistics wouldn’t come into a conversation about love. But unfortunately, they do in real life.
Even if you love someone to the end of the world, it’s not likely that they’re your soulmate if you two have wildly different life goals.
Of course, people manage to make tough situations work, so you don’t have to dump him because he lives far away or works in a different field from you. It only becomes a problem when your life goals are so different that they just can’t work together. The one for you will allow you to live the kind of life you want to live.
17Their Values Are Fundamentally Different
Similarly, the person you’re meant to be with will have similar values to you. You don’t have to be like clones of each other, but they will feel the same about the important things. When there are differences in opinion between you, they will at least respect your point of view. It’s not black and white, but generally speaking, you’ll have similar beliefs when it comes to things like parenting, equality, and what’s important in life.
Even if they feel differently about something, the right person for you will be willing to discuss their beliefs and hear your perspective.
16She Thinks About Being Single Again (A Lot)
It’s not the worst thing in the world if you fantasize about being single every now and then. The single life does come with its benefits, after all! Generally, though, the right person for you will mean more to you than the advantages that come with being single.
You might think about being single from time to time and miss those elements of freedom, but overall, you’ll be happy with your relationship.
If you just want to be single again, and you’re jealous of your girlfriends who get to go out and kiss whoever they like, you probably shouldn’t be in the relationship you’re in (or any at all).
15Does He Make Her Smile Or Frown?
This is a simple and effective way to tell whether someone is enhancing your life or making it worse. Do they make you frown more often, or smile more often? Obviously, the right answer changes with the context. Your personal trainer, for example, should probably make you frown more often than smile. But when it comes to your significant other, there should definitely be more smiles than frowns.
You might go through a frowny period, but overall, they should make you feel happy more often than they make you feel sad or angry. If not, they’re not the one.
14There Are No Fireworks
Call us immature, but we firmly believe that with the right person, there will be fireworks … at least in the beginning!
A guy might meet all your criteria, be exceptionally good-looking and be a genuine person, but if you don’t feel that energy between you, he’s probably not who you’ll be happiest with.
Remember that love doesn’t always make sense, and often, the one looks and acts nothing like what you’d planned. The relationship has to be based off more than just attraction, but there does have to be at least a little attraction there. You need a little zing!
13Nobody In Her Life Approves Of Him
It’s not wise to base all your decisions on what your family and friends think. At the same time, though, when everyone around you has exactly the same opinion that you can’t see, they may be onto something. If one person doesn’t like your partner, it’s probably them. If ten people don’t like him, it’s probably him.
In rare cases, he could be perfectly fine and you’re just surrounding yourself with people who are delusional, but that would be the exception. Consider it a red flag if nobody in your life approves of him.
12Whether He Brings Out The Best Or The Worst In Her
You will live your best life with the person you’re supposed to be with. That person will bring out the best in you simply because they make you happy. You won’t feel the need to turn into a jealous, possessive girlfriend when you’re with the one.
You also won’t be angry all the time or forgetting about the other things in life that are important to you.
It’s a sign that he’s just not the one if he brings out all the ugly sides to you just by being himself. That’s definitely not a match made in heaven.
11All The Effort Comes From Her
We all know what kind of street a relationship should be. Two ways, baby. These things take a lot of work, and the work has to come from both of you. All kinds of problems arise when only one person puts the effort in. That person grows resentful, and then the other person stops appreciating them, and it pretty much never works. The one will put in the effort to be with you.
They will call you first half the time, respond to your messages, and move their schedules around to fit you in, as often as you do it for them.
10She Always Has To Make Excuses For Him
One way to tell that he’s not the one for you is if you always catch yourself making excuses for him. These excuses could cover up all kinds of behavior, from the mildly annoying to the absolutely unacceptable.
Nobody can be perfect all the time, but you also shouldn’t be lying to yourself, and the people who care about you, just so the person you’re with seems better than they are.
“He never calls me first because he has phone anxiety” or “He’s rude to my friends because he’s tired from work again” are excuses you might not even realize have become a pillar of your relationship.
9He Keeps Lots Of Things From Her
Hidden details tend to emerge in a relationship as time passes. In the beginning, two people normally keep certain things to themselves, but as they get more comfortable with their partner, they’ll reveal more and more. If you’ve been together for a while, and you think you trust each other, the other person shouldn’t be keeping too many things hidden from you.
They don’t have to tell you every detail of their life, but you should know who they are. You should know the things that a partner would reasonably like to know. The one won’t keep all those things hidden from you.
8She Has A Long List Of Changes She Wants Him To Make
The one is someone in front of whom you can be yourself. That works both ways. If you can’t stand who they are, you probably shouldn’t be with them.
Approaching the relationship with a long list of things that you want to change about them isn’t a good idea for many reasons.
You’ll probably hurt their feelings, you can’t change who people are, and that’s the kind of thing you have to be okay with if you’re going to be with someone. We can all improve in different ways, and if there’s an issue you should bring it up. But with the one, you won’t feel like you have to chisel away at them for years until you’re happy with the final product.
7He Never Listens To Her
Listening is key, in all relationships but especially in romantic ones. Communication is important, whether you have an issue that you want to bring up or you just want to tell your significant other how much you appreciate them. For that to work, they have to listen to you, and you have to listen to them. Not just hear the words, but actually absorb them and understand.
You’ll know that he’s not listening to you if you have to repeat yourself over and over again, and he’s ignorant about everything that matters to you. And if so, he’s not the one.
6Those Three Words Are Never Uttered
Communication is important, and the three most important words two people can say to each other matter.
Everyone is different with regards to how they say “I love you” to their partner.
Some people say it at the end of every phone call, and once before bed. Some only say it on special occasions. Some don’t want to go there until they know for sure that’s how they feel. When you’re with the one, they will tell you they love you. Maybe not every hour or the first week into the relationship, but when the time is right, it will be there.
5Outside The Bedroom, There’s No Connection
Fireworks, energy, chemistry, zing—whatever you want to call it—is important to have in a relationship. If there’s no attraction between you, then you’re probably better off as best friends. At the same time, though, there needs to be more substance to the relationship than just what happens between you physically. With the one, you will connect on an emotional level. You will understand each other, care about each other, and want the best for each other.
One way to tell that he’s not the one is if there’s nothing between you but chemistry.
4She Likes The Idea Of Him More Than Him
Being with someone because you love the idea of being in a relationship more than you love them sounds like a recipe for disaster. And yet so many people do it.
It’s easy to succumb to the pressure of settling for any relationship when everyone around you is getting married and your parents are asking what’s wrong with you because you’re single.
But if you’re with someone just because you want a relationship, and not them, they’re almost definitely not the right person for you. You deserve more than to settle, and they deserve more than to be with someone who doesn’t love them for who they are.
3She’s Scared There’s Someone Better Out There
When you’re with the one, you won’t be scared that there’s someone better out there that you’re missing out on. Instead, you’ll feel content with your relationship, and you’ll have a gut feeling that you’re right where you’re supposed to be. Even if the person you’re with isn’t what you imagined, it will still feel right.
If you’re scared that there’s someone better out there for you, and so you’re reluctant to commit or settle down with your partner, it could be time to think about whether you’re really with the right person or not.
2They Compare Themselves To Other Couples
It’s hard not to compare yourself with other couples, especially in this day and age of sharing and bragging on social media.
But comparing yourselves too much with other couples could be a sign that you’re not in the relationship for the right reasons, and he’s not your one.
Instead of being together because you’re meant to be together, you could just be in it to achieve status or find validation. To be clear, comparing yourselves to other couples every now and then doesn’t mean you’re not soulmates. It just shouldn’t be all upon which your relationship is based.
1She Can’t Trust Him
If you don’t have trust, you don’t have much. When you’re with the one, you’ll be able to rely on that person to be there for you when you need them. You’ll trust that they will follow through with their promises, guard your hidden embarrassments, make you feel better and never put you in a position where you’re unsafe. You’ll be able to trust them to stay faithful to you. If you can’t trust them to be the person you need, they’re simply not the one for you.
Trust is one of those things that is either there or it’s not, and if you can’t trust them, you shouldn’t wait around to be able to one day. They’re just not for you.