20Being A Damsel In Distress
You might think it’ll stroke a guy’s ego to ask him for his help with something. For example, if you have to move a bookshelf or your phone’s not working in the way it should. But the truth is, appearing helpless when you’re really not can backfire. He might see through your agenda and think you’re just trying to get his attention in this way. Why not rather get his attention by engaging in a debate or showing him your skills? This is much more positive and empowering because it means you’re both seeing each other as equals instead of trying to make him feel like a stronger person.
19Showing Off Around Him
There’s a difference between being confident and showing off around a guy. If you’re confident, you’ll display positive body language such as smiling and making eye contact. Showing off, on the other hand, is when you try too hard to be the life of the party or look like you’re having fun around your crush. The reason why this doesn’t work to impress the guy you’re interested in is because he’ll be able to see that you’re not being sincere or natural — huge turn-off!
18Helping Him When He Hasn’t Asked For Help
When you like someone, you want to be there for everything they go through. This doesn’t just mean you want to enjoy the good times with them — you also want to help them when they look like they’re battling with something. For example, if the guy’s English essay isn’t up to standard, you might suggest helping him. Or, if his hair is messy, you might suggest cutting it for him.
While you might have good intentions here, it can be insulting to him for you to step in and offer your help.
Stick to this rule: wait to be asked before you jump in and help him!
17Trying To Be Best Buddies With His Friends
It’s important to get along with your boyfriend’s friends. As pointed out by Metro, getting along with his friends will improve your relationship with him because you’ll have more fun together and if he sees that his friends trust you, he’s likely to do the same. However, if you try too hard to be friends with his friends, such as by adding them on social media after meeting them for five minutes, they might see you as OTT instead of an outstanding person to know and report back to your boyfriend. Tread carefully.
There’s being interested and then there’s being clingy. Make sure you’re not guilty of the latter as this can make him feel uncomfortable. Her Campusoutlines signs of clinginess, which include following your object of affection around, texting him all the time, and always being at his beck and call. Doing these kinds of behavior will make you seem desperate instead of dreamy in his eyes.
So cut back on how much attention you give him.
Play it cool and try not to initiate all the time. Let him come to you, that way you know he’s reciprocating your feelings.
15Playing Too Hard To Get
If you get into a relationship with the guy you’re crushing over, you want to be in a relationship that’s built on communication and trust. As Cosmopolitanpoints out, how can that occur if you’re too busy playing games with him?
You might, for example, play hard to get by not responding to his texts or pretending you don’t have feelings for him.
What’s the point? Instead of impressing him and making you seem like a catch in his eyes, he’ll see you as a game-player who’s not being real.
14Playing Down Your Intelligence
You’re chatting to your crush about politics or science, and you feel insecure about sharing your opinions because they go against what he’s saying. Instead, you let him be right. You nod and say “yes” to what he says so that he knows you agree with him. Why do this?
You might think it’s a good way to make him see that you share the same opinions, but don’t flatter him.
Rather challenge him! He’ll respect this much more because he’ll see that you’re a strong and confident person with her own mind.
13Being Catty To A Girl He Doesn’t Like
He tells you about his platonic female friend who treated him badly, and she’s instantly your number-one enemy. You might do this to show him support, but let’s be honest: by throwing her shade because of their issues that have nothing to do with you, you’re just making yourself seem childish and OTT. The kind of support that he’ll appreciate more than a Mean Girls sequel is if you’re there to listen to him, instead of taking on his problems.
12Posting Lots Of Selfies
You want the guy you’re interested in to see your gorgeous new hairstyle, so you upload a selfie to Facebook or Instagram. That’s fine, but if you’re constantly uploading new selfies of yourself to get someone’s attention, it’s way too much work to get someone to notice you.
You don’t need to jump through so many hoops to try to show the guy that you’re worthy of his attention.
Besides, it could totally backfire. He might think that you’re vain because you’re posting so many pictures of yourself every day. Ouch.
11Trying Too Hard To Show Interest
Maybe you don’t want to play hard to get. Maybe you’re crazy about this guy and want to show him. So you’re affectionate with him and you flirt hard. Although it’s good to be honest about your feelings, there’s always a limit that needs respecting. You should show that you’re interested without acting like he’s the last guy on Earth.
Holding back a bit isn’t the same thing as playing hard to get. It’s about having self-respect and self-worth.
It’s the voice that says, “I know I’m worthy and I’m showing you that I’m into you, but I’m not going to chase you because I’m a queen.” Right on!
10Being Moody Or Distant
Although you might not associate being moody or emotionally distant with making a good impression on a guy because it seems like you’re doing the opposite, it can happen that you think it’s a good idea to do. Let me explain. Imagine you’re upset because of something he did so you give him the silent treatment for a few days in the hope that he’ll come running and make amends.
The truth is, he might be confused as to what you’re feeling and just assume you’re giving him the cold shoulder because you don’t like him.
Ugh. This is why playing games doesn’t work.
9Texting First All The Time
There’s nothing wrong with initiating contact. It’s important to show him you’re keen to chat to him. However, if you’re always the one who’s dropping that first text, then it’s bad on many levels. For starters, it’s like you’re chasing the guy. While this isn’t necessarily seen as a bad thing according to guys who answered a Thought Catalog survey,
they do say that it becomes annoying if you’re always texting first and he’s not showing any interest in you.
Chasing him via text won’t impress him or change him if he’s not interested. You can do better things with your time.
8Acting Like One Of The Guys
You might think you should be like one of his mates — slap him on the back, high-five him, and just have fun together without worrying about flirting, but, be careful.
Being too much of a friend is an easy way to get yourself friend-zoned. Basically, how you behave shows people how to treat you.
If you’re always acting like one of the guys, your crush is going to start treating you like one of them, thinking that you’re not interested in having anything romantic with him. Yikes.
7Trying To Get Compliments
He tells you your mermaid hair looks really pretty and you say it’s a mess. During conversation, you tell him that you wish you had a smaller nose or bluer eyes, even though your looks are gorgeous. Fishing for compliments can be done in different ways. They’re attempts at getting attention from the guy you’re interested in, but they just make you look like you have low self-esteem or that you’re trying too hard to get him to give you his approval and boost your ego. You’re better than that!
6Avoiding Eating In Front Of Him Even Though You’re Hungry
You go out for a date and he orders a burger while you pick at a salad, even though you’re starving. What gives? It’s totally not worth it to sit with hunger pains because you’re afraid of eating in front of him.
Maybe you think not eating will impress him, but it’s probably going to do the opposite.
As reported by a guy interviewed by Your Tango, “You always hear about girls who are scared to order what they really want on a date because they’re worried that the guy will make comments about what she’s eating. I think the opposite: if a girl I’m out with orders steak, it’s a huge turn-on for me. It tells me that she’s not afraid to be herself — and that she doesn’t care what I think.”
5Be Too Much Like Him
It’s great if you have lots in common with the guy you like. But if you have to try to make those similarities happen, something’s wrong. Don’t try to have the same opinions, ideas, hobbies, interests, and life goals just so that he’ll think you’re on the same wavelength.
It will only hurt you because soon enough he’ll see that you don’t share all those things in common and then he’ll think you’ve been faking it with him for ages.
Not cool. Remember, the best connections are those that happen naturally, so don’t force them.
4Laughing At Things You Don’t Find Funny
Sharing the same humor with your partner is great because it helps you bond. But if he says the lamest jokes and you force a laugh every time, it’s no laughing matter for two main reasons. First, he’ll probably be able to tell that you’re faking your laughter, which will just make him feel bad. Second, it makes you seem like you’re trying too hard to show him that you like him. Rather focus on what he does that you really do like. It might not be his humor, but perhaps his intelligence or kindness. When your interest is genuine, good things happen.
3Telling Him Your Whole Life Story Right Away
It’s exiting to get to know someone. You want to tell them everything about yourself, down to your juiciest secrets, in an attempt to bond and learn about each other. Woah, slow down! Telling him TMI right off the bat can come across as OTT.
It’s like you’re rushing in and desperate for him to discover who you are.
However, there’s something to be said for the slow burn. It’s like slowly unwrapping Christmas presents. Taking your time is much more satisfying and fun than rushing in and exposing the gifts. Keep some of your mystery!
2Trying To Fix Him
The guy you’re into is perfect, except for how he doesn’t really want to commit to you. Instead of letting him go and finding someone else who’s a better match for you, you try to fix him.
You might think this shows him that you’re interested in him and love him unconditionally, but honestly, it just shows him that you’re controlling.
If he doesn’t want to commit (or he has some other fatal flaw), he’s not going to, and he won’t appreciate you trying to change him. It really is a better idea to move on instead of wasting your time.
1Letting Him Take The Lead About Everything
Your crush asks you on a date and says, “What would you like to do?” or “Where do you want to go for dinner?” Instead of giving him an answer, you let him decide the evening. In fact, you’re always letting him decide what you do and where you go. Instead of making him feel that you really love his ideas, taking a backseat in the relationship will just make him think you don’t have ideas of your own.
Guys want to be around women who know themselves and what they want, while being passionate and interesting.
So go on and choose a fun date activity. Now’s your chance to show him what you’re about.