I can still feel your fingers leaving imprints on my skin, along my back, marking your territory for the rest of time. I remembered your touch, every square inch of you; it was as effortless as breathing, so life-affirming. You branded me with your touch, engraved like a permanently tattoo. I scrub and scrub up until my skin is raw, however it’s never sufficient to erase you. As well as attempt as I might, I can not clear myself of every word, every kiss, every memory– every ‘nearly’ with you remains intact, a tip of all that I have lost.
I can see every mile pen, every landmark of thrown out love and pledges. It’s the graveyard of lost love, bones and also skeletons of our unfinished enchanting saga. I can smell the fresh air on those chilly winter months nights, the nights we were skating on the exterior ice. It was just the two people in our very own little universe of countless love and also memory-making. I know I possibly made you take a lot of pictures with me, however I really did not care. I wished to catch every minute with each other so we could look back on them when we beinged in our rocking chairs 40 years from currently. Just how could I have ever before understood that permanently would certainly never be ours to keep? Exactly how could I have actually thought that permanently would just be hung before me like some sort of harsh ridicule, a twist of fate so rough I would not want it on anybody. Missing you is pure misery, and I am left to wonder if that ache will ever disappear.
You’re gone, but fragments of you stayed in my heart for safekeeping. One of the most stunning pieces of you still exist within me; try as I might, I can not pluck out and also discard them. You are implanted into my skin, linked with my muscle mass and also tendons. Every little moment we had with each other dances in my lungs; the cells in my body relocate to the rhythm of our song. The future you ruined, the phases we never obtained the chance to write– they drip through my capillaries, revealing no indications of fading away. There is not a solitary memory I can securely ignore– they always come back to haunt me.