Relationship advice

What Sucks About Being Single (Even When You’re Cool With It)

The thing that sucks the most about being single is the societal belief that you’re better off in a relationship. That you must be miserable if you’re alone. That you could not possibly be happy unless you’re in a committed relationship that is headed somewhere serious.

Even when you’re cool with your single status, it’s impossible to convince everyone else you’re telling the truth.  They think you’re only saying what you think you’re supposed to say. They think you’re fooling yourself in order to protect yourself. They think you’re trying to cope as best you possibly can, and are putting on a happy face to mask your hidden sadness.

They have trouble believing that you would chose to be single. That you would chose to stay on your own. That you would chose to walk this earth alone.


And, even though it sucks they’re unable to see the world from your point of view, their mindset really says more about them than it says about you. You should be proud you don’t need another person to feel whole. You should be proud you’ve mastered the art of loving yourself (or are at least apprenticing in the subject). You should be proud you’ve filled your life with so many other worthwhile things that a relationship is secondary, low on your list of priorities.

Sometimes, being single really is for the best, because you’re swamped with responsibilities. You need as much time as possible to focus on yourself, your career milestones, your personal milestones. You don’t have extra time to dedicate to a relationship. You don’t have extra energy to spend on another person. You need to save it for yourself.

Sometimes, being single really is for the best, because your heart is in the process of healing. Because you’re putting your energy toward working on yourself. Because you’re trying to get yourself back into a good, healthy place without the help of a rebound. Because you want to focus on yourself as an individual, not yourself as a couple.


Sometimes, being single really is for the best, because you haven’t met a good match yet. Because you would rather stay single than force yourself into a relationship you realize isn’t going to work. Because, if you’re going to go through the process of entering a relationship, you want to pick the right person. Not any person.

Sometimes, being single really is for the best, because you’re in a good fucking place. Because you aren’t interested in a change. Because you’ve built a comfortable home for yourself and are excited to see what’s in store. Because, honestly, you haven’t even thought about dating in ages.

It sucks that no one believes you’re being honest when you say you’re one-hundred percent happy without a relationship. But does it really matter? It’s better to be genuinely happy than to have the whole world think you’re happy when you’re not. It’s better to live a life you love than the life that is expected of you.



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