Love comes from a place of affection toward the other person. It eventually evolves into emotional attachment and is based on a deep, caring kind of attraction. Infatuation, on the other hand, is not much more complex than physical attraction. Of course, being infatuated with someone can transform into love, but it takes time and work. It involves both people revealing their real selves—including their flaws—and having the patience to stick it out beyond the honeymoon phase.
There is a time and place for both love and infatuation, as long as you know what you’re dealing with. You don’t want to mix them up, and believe someone loves you when it’s just infatuation, or brush a relationship off as infatuation when there’s something more there. It’s always helpful to know the clear signs of love, vs. those of pure infatuation. So keep reading to find out what she does when she’s in love, and what she does when she’s only infatuated.
25It’s Love: She Wants To Share All Her News With Them First
Generally speaking, when you’re in love with someone, they’re the first person who comes to your mind when you have news to share. You call them when you get a promotion, win a competition or discover an amazing new restaurant. And by the same token, you turn to them when you need to vent out your feelings. If it’s just infatuation, a girl is probably more likely to save all that stuff for her close friends or family.
24It’s Love: There Are (Minor!) Elements Of Dependency And Possessiveness
To a certain extent, people who are truly in love tend to feel possessive of one another and dependent on one another. We’re not saying a relationship has to be possessive to the point of being toxic, and we definitely don’t recommend being completely dependent on another person, ever! But people who are in love naturally feel those things in small, healthy amounts. It’s just science! Someone who’s infatuated might not feel such strong emotions toward the other person.
23It’s Love: She Asks For Their Advice
Another part of a relationship that’s based on love is seeking advice and sharing guidance with each other. When you love someone, it’s only natural that you value their opinion and look up to them. Asking for their help and advice will likely be something that you feel inclined to do. But when you’re just infatuated with someone and don’t really love them, you might not value their opinion as much and won’t be as inclined to seek their help and advice.
22It’s Love: She Often Brings Up The Future
Continuously bringing up the future is one of the clearest signs that a person has fallen in love with their partner. The honeymoon phase of love might not be eternal, but the commitment and attachment that follows usually is, so people who are in love can’t picture their lives without that special person. They’ll be thinking about their future with their partner, and they’ll probably bring it up more than they realize, subconsciously trying to secure their dream life with their partner by their side.
21It’s Infatuation: She Doesn’t Feel Comfortable Venting To Them
When there’s a lack of love in the relationship and the union is based on physical attraction rather than a deep care for one another, a gal is less likely to want to vent. The time they spend together is probably about having fun and feeling good, and there might not be a lot of time or room for deep conversations. It’s also a lot harder to open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable around someone you’re seriously attracted to but don’t necessarily love.
20It’s Love: She’s Understanding When They Go Through Hard Times
Part of loving someone is being there for them when they go through hard times, and showing a lot of patience, tolerance and understanding. Even the best relationships are often difficult to maintain, but what keeps two people in love together is their ability to stick it out through the storms that come their way. A couple moves past the point of lust and into love when they are patient with each other, even when they’re not at their best.
19It’s Love: She Accepts Things About Them That They’re Insecure About
Love is so strong that it tends to overlook the things that make someone less attractive, both in terms of looks and personality. A person in love will accept their partner’s flaws, and will be okay with the things their partner is insecure about. But on the other hand, when you’re just infatuated with someone, your feelings are probably related to how good they look or how confident they are. And when they have an off night, your feelings might subside.
18It’s Love: She Wants To Take Care Of Them
If you’re really in love with someone, you want the best for them, always—not just when it aligns with your self-interests. And so it makes sense that when she’s really in love with her partner, she’ll feel the desire to take care of them however she can, and make their life easier. It might be looking after them when they’re sick, or helping them to organize their schedule or cooking a delicious meal for them. She’ll just feel inclined to make them happy.
17It’s Love: She Feels Safe Around Them
Sometimes love is portrayed as something that’s dangerous, risky and rebellious. While love is certainly exciting, a relationship that’s based on true love will never make a person feel unsafe or in real danger. She might be pushed out of her comfort zone from time to time and they’ll definitely face obstacles together, but at the end of the day, she’ll feel like she’s in a safe and secure place. Relationships based on lust or infatuation tend to feel much less sheltered.
16It’s Infatuation: She Always Cares How She Looks (And How They Look)
In the initial stages of any relationship, it’s only natural to want to look your best. But when two people enter the deep attachment phase of love, a lot less care tends to go into how they look. They still might like to look good, but there’s understanding if they don’t. On the other hand, when she’s only infatuated, looks will remain one of the most important factors. If she doesn’t look good, or she doesn’t think they look good, it could throw everything off.
15It’s Love: The Mention Of Them Brightens Up Her Day
Having a crush on somebody is an exciting feeling—especially if you haven’t had one for a while—but it pales in comparison to being in love. When a girl is in love, that euphoric feeling is maximized one thousand percent, to the point where just the mention of her partner’s name makes her feel like she’s floating on air. That’s all it takes to completely brighten up her day. Just about everything is emphasized because of all that adrenaline.
14It’s Love: Her Partner Is One Of Her Highest Priorities
When a gal is in love, her partner is simply a priority. That’s why when people say they’re too busy to catch up with you or respond to your texts, you know that you’re just not that important to them in the grand scheme of things. No matter how busy someone is, they will always find time for the person that they love. They’ll be willing to sacrifice something to fit them into their schedule because the feelings are so strong.
13It’s Love: As Long As She’s With Them, She’s Having Fun
One of the symptoms of being in love with someone is wanting to be around them as much possible. You don’t really care what you’re doing, as long as you’re with them. So it’s a sign that she really has fallen in love if she has fun with them no matter what they’re doing together. On the flip side, if her enjoyment correlates with what she’s doing rather than who she’s doing it with, it could be a sign that her feelings for them aren’t that strong after all.
12It’s Love: She Cares About How Their Day Went
Sometimes in the world of love, the little things mean the most. Asking how someone’s day was might not seem like a big deal, but it really signifies a lot. Caring about basic things like that shows that someone feels strongly about their partner. If she never asks how their day was, how their family is or what’s going on in their life, there’s a good chance that her relationship with them is based on something physical rather than emotional.
11It’s Infatuation: She Says What They Want To Hear, Not The Truth
Honesty can be hard to take, but it’s an important part of a real relationship. Sometimes being honest with someone is a lot more complicated than just telling a white lie, but when you love someone, that honesty tends to be quite important. It’s a sign that she’s just infatuated and isn’t really in love if she tells them what they want to hear to avoid a difficult conversation. In that case, being honest isn’t as important to her as keeping things agreeable.
10It’s Love: She Includes Them In Many Aspects Of Her Life
In many cases, when a girl is in love they want to incorporate that person into as many areas of her life as she can. It won’t just be a case of meeting up secretly after dark, but she’ll be proud to be seen with them in public, she’ll want to invite them to work events and she’ll want to have them around her friends and family. Falling in love is a serious life change. With infatuation, she might not want to factor them into her life.
9It’s Love: When A Problem Arises In The Relationship, She Wants To Fix It
It’s a common misconception that a relationship experiencing arguments is a bad omen. We’ll admit that constant isn’t a promising sign, but all relationships have arguments and all relationships face challenges. It doesn’t determine whether or not there’s love there. What does indicate love (or a lack of love) is the couple’s reaction to those problems. If she wants to fix them, it’s a sign she really cares. If she wants to brush them off and let them fester, it’s a sign she probably doesn’t.
8It’s Love: Her Interests Start To Align With Theirs
Another one of the common side effects of love is the aligning of interests. When two people fall in love, they tend to take an interest in the things that the other person is interested in, and even start to think in the same way. They don’t have to be complete clones, but there should be at least a little connection. When people are just infatuated with each other, they might not really care enough to actually take an interest in the other person’s life.
7It’s Love: She Looks At Them Like Nobody Else Does
Something as simple as a look can really indicate whether a person is really in love. Girls in love just have an intense, unique way of looking at the people they’re in love with, and you won’t catch them looking at anyone else like that. It’s a look that encompasses passion, desire, deep affection and care for that person. They’ll also stare at that person more than they stare at anybody else and will subconsciously mirror their body language.
6It’s Infatuation: Silence Between Them Is Awkward
When two people are in love, there will be silences between them, but they won’t be awkward. Instead, they’ll be able to sit in each other’s company and just be, without constant conversation. Being with each other will be enough. But when it’s just infatuation and the relationship isn’t based on a deeper level like that, those silences will feel a lot more awkward. Both people will probably feel like they have to fill the space with pointless conversation to avoid just being with each other.
5It’s Love: She Expresses Her True Emotions, Even If It Takes A While
It’s not always easy to express how you’re really feeling about someone else, but a gal is more likely to open up and let herself be vulnerable with somebody that she loves. There’s a certain risk involved in letting someone know how you feel—you can never be entirely sure that you won’t be rejected. But when the feelings are strong, you can’t always help yourself from spilling them, even if there’s a risk of being turned down.
4It’s Love: She Remembers The Small Details
Being in love with someone is like having all your senses heightened when you’re around them, and being especially in tune with everything they say and do. A woman in love will be paying full attention whenever she’s around that person, so of course, she’ll be more likely to remember the little things they mention. And that will be obvious when she follows up on all the things her partner spoke about. Someone who’s just in lust or just infatuated probably won’t have the same listening skills.
3It’s Love: She Respects Their Personal Space
Contrary to popular belief, being in love doesn’t have to involve completely smothering each other. Affection is, of course, a huge part of a healthy relationship, but there also has to be room for personal space. Everybody is different in terms of how much space they need, but a person in love will respect those needs no matter what they are. Though she’ll want to be affectionate with them and see them often, she won’t force herself on them like she’s obsessed.
2It’s Love: She Makes Them Feel Good About Who They Are
In a relationship that’s based on love, both people are just happier together than they are when they’re apart. A girl in love will make her partner feel good about themselves, rather than making them feel insecure. They don’t call it unconditional love for nothing! She will accept them for who they are and help them shine by making them feel confident with themselves. Infatuation is more selfish than selfless, and the focus is on making the giver rather than the receiver feel good.
1It’s Infatuation: She Doesn’t Really Know The True Them
Being in love is about opening up and letting someone see (and fall for) the real you. We might pretend to be someone cooler, braver or smarter when we’re trying to hook someone’s interest, but when the relationship gets to a certain point, the truth has to come out. And if it’s real love, the real you will be accepted. But if the relationship is still based on two facades, there’s a good chance that the love isn’t there yet.