I’m Tired Of Always Being The One Who Cares More

  I know more than you know about me. The things you like, the things you love. Is this telling you something? Why am I always the one who keeps track of your preferences while you ignore mine or don’t know them? Why am I always the one who has to keep things going? I’m tired of always being the one caring too much about your feelings, desires and requests. If you tell me that you’re feeling down, I immediately try to lift you up. If you tell me that you want to see me in my new lingerie, I jump into a sexy outfit within seconds. If you tell me that you need a massage, I neglect my own priorities and start massaging you, even though I can barely stand on my feet. I’m tired of that. They say that there will always be one who cares more. But, why should I always be the one? When you care more, you get hurt more. You get hurt when they refuse to do something that you would gladly do for them. Caring more means letting your feelings control your emotions. I got tired of being controlled by my emotions.   I’m tired of you not caring enough. I’m tired of always being the one who will make you feel special. Just because I go beyond myself to show that I care, it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to. There are many ways to show your affection, and all you need to do is to pull up your sleeves and show me that you care.   Show me that you appreciate me being here and that you care for our relationship. Don’t let me suffocate in my own thoughts, thinking that I’m not good enough for you. Don’t let me think that I should care more in order for you to start caring. If you want me in your life, just be a man, and show me your true intentions. I’m tired of you not making an effort. I’m tired of you not making an effort to show me your biggest fears and to show me that you will do anything to keep me entertained. When you really like someone, you never miss a chance to make them feel special. I want you to be a man and go over yourself to show me some affection. Buy me my favorite chocolate or pick a flower somewhere and I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. I’m tired of your not listening to my wishes and dreams. I want you to support my decisions and nourish my dreams just as I’m nourishing yours. I want you to show me that you’re interested in my cravings and that you’re paying attention to the smallest of details that go on in my life.   I’m tired of you telling me that I overreact. I’m tired of you telling me that I’m overreacting every time you’re wrong and trying to make me look insane so that things go the way you want them to go. It’s a cheap shot played by cheap people like you, making me look like I’m the bad guy and that you’re the victim. I’m tired of being the victim of your selfish necessities. You probably don’t realize that I have necessities too and that you’re not the only one who needs attention. I don’t want you to confuse me with being needy. There’s a big differences between needing and wanting something. I don’t need it because I can’t live without it. I want it because it makes me feel appreciated.   I’m tired of your ignorance. I’m tired of your ignorance and lack of empathy. I don’t want to be the one telling you what to do. I want you to think about your behavior and find a proper solution for it. I don’t want you to take me for granted just because you can or just because you know that I will always be the one who cares more. This time I want you to know that I do care more. But this time – about myself.  
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