I Love You So Much That I Want You To Be Happy Even Without Me
When you hear the words “unconditional love”, you automatically think of love which has no selfishness in it.
You think about love in which you are ready to make whatever sacrifice needed for the other person to be happy.
You think of love which has no conditions and about love which asks for nothing in return.
You think about love in which you always put other people’s needs in front of your own, even if that makes you unhappy.
When you hear the words “unconditional love”, you think about loving someone so much that you want them to be happy, even without you.
You want them to be happy even if that happiness doesn’t include you. And sincerely, I thought I could never love someone that much.
I thought I loved some men from my past. But I’ve always wanted those men to be mine, and I wanted them all for myself.
I have to admit that I didn’t want all the best for those men when they walked away from me. Don’t get me wrong—I didn’t wish for anything bad to happen to them.
But the truth is that I wanted them to feel the same amount of pain I felt when they were gone. I wanted them to suffer for me, and I wanted for them to be haunted by everything they did to me.
I wanted them to spend the rest of their lives thinking about me and regretting the fact they’d left me. I wanted for their hearts to be broken in the future in the same way they broke mine.
But now I know that I never actually loved any of those men. I know that this was all my ego and my pride talking, and that I was hurt and humiliated by the fact that they’d stopped loving me.
And then you came into my life.
And the moment I saw you, I knew you would be different for me. I knew I would love you in a way I’d never loved anyone else.
And I was right.
But I am not going to talk to you about the love I felt for you while you were mine. Because, let’s face it—you saw that love, and you felt it. You knew very well how much I loved you.
But that didn’t stop you from leaving me. That didn’t stop you from breaking my heart and from walking away from me.
That’s why I am going to talk to you about the love I still feel for you, even though you are no longer by my side. Because this is the love you know nothing about.
You may even think that I’ve stopped loving you, the same way you’ve stopped loving me.
After all, I’ve never tried to reach out to you. I’ve never called you, and I’ve never asked you to come back.
I’ve never even confronted you for moving on with your life so fast. I’ve never told you that I resent you for being with another girl just days after you walked away from me.
And you know why?
Because I see how happy you are. I see that you are exactly where and with whom you want to be.
And I see that you don’t need me to complete that happiness.
I’m not going to lie to you.
It’s painful for me to see that you can be happy without me. It tears me apart to realize that you love some other woman the way I still love you.
But I’m not jealous of it. And I’m not jealous of her.
Instead, I am thankful because she could make you happy the way I could never do.
And for the first time ever, I don’t want you to feel the pain you’ve put me through.
I don’t want you to think of me and to feel bad about yourself because you left me. I don’t want you to regret leaving me and to feel guilty for breaking my heart.
I just want to tell you that I forgive you for everything.
Because all of this is something you had to do to make yourself happy. And all I want is for you to be happy. Even if it’s without me.