You probably don’t know it but getting your ex-boyfriend back is actually one of the easiest things to accomplish. It is a piece of cake when you turn off your emotions and when you learn how to play your cards right.
And we are here to teach you exactly that. We are here to guide you through 6 steps you should take if you want to get back together with your ex without looking desperate.
1. Don’t reach out
When your boyfriend walks out on you, the first thing you want to do is call him and tell him how much you miss him. The first impulse you have is to reach out to him and to do everything in your power to get him back.
And this is the first mistake most of us make. First of all, even if this succeeds, you will only send him the message that he can do whatever the hell he wants and whenever the hell he wants and that you’ll always be right there where he left you, waiting for him.
Secondly, you’ll just look desperate and needy. Besides losing your dignity, you’ll also make him see that he can have you whenever he wishes and you are sending him the message that he shouldn’t be afraid of losing you.
When you set things up like this, you are actually giving your ex a heads up to try some new things and to see if he can make it without you because you’ll be there when or if he ever decides to come back. You are telling him that he didn’t lose anything when he left you.
So please, don’t call him or send him essay-long texts, telling him how much you love and miss him. I know you want to remind him of all of your good times right away after he leaves you but this is something you shouldn’t do if you want this guy back.
2. No contact
Have you ever heard about the no contact rule? It is a proven method by which you cut all ties with your ex for 30 days straight. And when I say all ties, I literally mean all ties.
That means that you should spend the next month completely ignoring the fact that this man has ever existed in your life. You can’t call him or text him. You can’t post songs or status updates about things which remind you of him. You can’t hang out with his friends or family and you can’t go out to the places where you’ll know you could see him.
Yes, I know this sounds impossible to do, especially now when you are dying to see him or hear something about him but it is something that can and has to be done. You might think that you will be gone from his heart once you are gone from his sight but the truth is actually quite different.
This way, you’ll give this guy a chance to miss you. You’ll give him a chance to wonder what you’ve been up to and to think about you. Remember—distance only makes hearts grow fonder.
3. Think about the things that went wrong
During this no contact phase, you’ll have some time to cool your head off and to think about your relationship realistically, for the first time ever. This is the time in which you have to take off your rose-tinted glasses and put some effort into seeing this man clearly.
Why did the two of you really part ways? What were the things that could have been done to prevent this break-up? What were your mistakes in the relationship? What were the things he did wrong? How could you both work on improving your relationship if he comes back to you?
These are all the questions you need to find answers to now. But the most important question you need to answer yourself is: Is this worth it? I know you love this guy and that you are dying to have him back but you need to ask yourself if he is really worthy of you. Is he the man you want to build your future with or is it that your ego simply can’t stand the fact that he left you?
Do things have a chance of being better this time? Or will the two of end up the same way, even if you get back together?
4. Focus on yourself
When you’ve responded to all of these questions and you are still certain that you want this man back in your life, it’s time for the next step. And no, the next step doesn’t include you calling him and crying how much you want things to be the way they were, even though I know this is probably something you wish to do.
The next step is to focus on yourself. Yes, you want this guy back but these things take time. And instead of you sitting at home and waiting for him to remember you, use this time and spend it on yourself.
First of all, you’ll feel much better about yourself if you start investing your energy into making yourself look and feel better. Read a book or go get a mani and a pedi—whatever makes you happy and whatever takes your mind off your ex.
Secondly, you’ll send him a better and more positive vibe. I know that you aren’t doing anything for him to conclude that you desperately want reconciliation but trust me, he’ll feel it if you spend all your days thinking of him. And when you start focusing more on yourself and less on him, your ex will feel that your energy has shifted and he’ll automatically start considering you more desirable.
5. Let him come to you
So, it has been a month and you’ve managed to stick to the no contact rule. You haven’t spoken to this guy ever since the two of you broke things off and you haven’t done anything for him to think that you want him back.
Well, enough time has passed and it’s time to change this. No, this is not the moment in which you’ll admit to him that you’ve been missing him all this time nor the moment in which you’ll directly ask him to get back together.
This is the time in which you have to let him come to you and the time in which he starts chasing you, if you play your cards right. I am sure you are wondering how to accomplish that.Well, now you have to reappear in this man’s life and heart. But you have to find a way to do it discreetly and for it to appear unintentional.
You can contact him regarding something you need from him, without even mentioning your reconciliation. You can start appearing at the places he usually hangs out or you can start sending him signals about your feelings for him.
6. Set the terms
If you’ve accomplished all of these steps the right way, trust me—this man will come back to you and he’ll be the first one to talk about getting back together. And when this finally happens, you should never be desperate enough to accept everything and to agree about everything with him just to have him back.
Instead, start acting like reconciliation is just an option to you. It is something you will think about. Yes, you will be happy to have him back in your life but it doesn’t mean that you can’t live without him and it definitely doesn’t mean that you want this guy back at any cost.
Set the terms and conditions about your old-new relationship. This will make it much more successful and it will show your soon-to-be boyfriend that he can’t play with you the way he wants.