How a relationship changes when you decide to forgive cheating. The story is all too typical. It would seem that the perfect couple almost fell apart from the inside. One party was blinded, and the other was guilty but swears that their love had become stronger than it was before they experienced cheating.
Before the trust and foundation of the relationship were destroyed. But instead of leaving, one decided to stay—to the surprise of both. And as they tried to rebuild themselves individually, they realized that something had changed:
1. Certain songs, movies, and places will always remind you of this.
You will remember where you were and what you were doing when you found out about the betrayal. You will remember the moment your heart broke. The moment when you wanted to punch him and then curl up into a ball and cry.
You will remember every word he said; you will remember the moment when you decided to leave or stay. You will remember the reason why you made that decision. Your doubts after it. This is something you will never forget, even if you decide to forgive.
2. Anyone who has shown disrespect or questioned your relationship immediately loses the right to speak out about the current situation.
Relationships are only for two people. But today, it seems like everyone wants to put in their two cents, thinking they know better. Unless you’re in my exact shoes, I don’t care what you have to say.
3. It is much more difficult to stay and fight.
The urge to quit is stronger than ever. And somewhere in the background, there will always be this thought: If he neglected me enough to cheat on me, then why should I try so hard to fix it? If it’s one-sided, then I really shouldn’t.
4. You both will have to learn how to fight.
You can’t use his cheating to blame him for all your fights, even those not related to fidelity. And he needs to learn to stand up for himself. The power in the relationship has shifted, and the balance needs to be found again.
5. All your plans are frozen, and you take a step back.
If, for example, you were planning to have a child, then you shouldn’t think that now is the time for him to bring you together. First, sort out the trust issue, and then continue planning your family life.
6. You begin to think that deep down you had a premonition of this.
You analyze everything, look for your fault and alarming signs on his part, and begin to find excuses and reproach yourself for how you could have allowed this to happen.
7. Yes, you start blaming yourself.
Whatever the reasons, you start to think that you weren’t good enough because he looked left.
8. The question “Why?” will always haunt you.
Maybe you know the reason, but it won’t be enough for you. It won’t heal the wound in your soul; it won’t restore trust.
Because there is no right answer to the question “Why?” and sometimes you will wake up next to him in the middle of the night and still ask yourself, “Why?”
