The concept of a soulmate is closely woven into our society’s definition of success. Many people are looking for that one person who sets their hearts on fire in a good way, who understands them like no other, and who will give them the love they’re looking for. Even those who don’t believe in soulmates can spend years searching for a partner who meets all these standards—a partner they can truly say was made for them.
Whether you believe in one true soulmate, a couple of soulmates, or no soulmates at all, it’s hard to deny that good partners can be hard to stumble upon. Sometimes, we crave that ideal relationship so desperately that we turn a blind eye to signs that the relationship isn’t making us happy and settle for less than we deserve. It’s especially easy to do if we love the other person anyway, even when they’re not good for us.
If a gal is lucky enough to have found her person or soulmate (or the best possible person for her), she should hold on tight and not take them for granted. And if it turns out that she hasn’t, it could be an idea for her to rethink things in order to make herself happy. Here are 25 signs that he’s just not her person.
25He Rejects Something That Makes Her Who She Is
Everybody’s definition of a soulmate is different, but the one thing we can usually all agree upon is that a soulmate should accept a person for who they are.
If a girl is going to commit the rest of her life to somebody, she should make sure that he accepts the essence of who she is.
There might be ways to help her grow into a better person, but if he’s her person he won’t flatly reject something about her that makes her unique.
24The Communication In The Relationship Isn’t Great
They say that communication is key, and they’re right. In a strong relationship, both partners can talk to each other about anything, even if it gets uncomfortable sometimes. One of the clearest signs that a gal is with someone who’s not ideal for her is if she can’t talk to him about certain topics. Whether she can’t communicate for fear of her man’s reaction or because she feels uncomfortable, it’s a sign that she might not be where she belongs.
23There’s A Gut Feeling That Says Something Is Not Right
In many cases, following a gut feeling usually leads to the right path.
When a girl gets an intuitive, instinctive feeling that something is not right in her relationship, there’s a good chance things really are not right.
It is possible that she’s just being paranoid, especially if she’s had problems with that in past, but it’s more likely that her subconscious is trying to alert her to something that she can’t see because she’s too blinded by what she thinks is love.
22She’s Not One Of His Highest Priorities
A soulmate will hold their partner as one of their highest priorities, no questions asked. Now, we’re not saying she needs to be treated like a queen on a throne and he should abandon everything else in his life, but if she’s important to him, he will show her that she is. If she’s always coming at the very bottom of the list, after his friends, family, work, sports, hobbies, PlayStation, and neighbor’s cat, he’s probably not the one for her.
21No Effort Goes Into The Relationship
Relationships take effort sometimes. Scratch that. Relationships take effort most of the time. But if a gal is with the love of her life, that effort will be worth it and will be repaid.
Both parties should be putting in the effort, and if it’s gotten to the point where neither is meeting the other halfway, it’s a sign that things aren’t really working.
In the right relationship, both parties will nurture their bond, even when the honeymoon phase is long past.
20They’re Heading In Two Different Directions
Life has a way of splitting even the closest ties apart. If school, college, work, family, passion, or anything else does come in between two people, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they never loved each other. It just means that they’re not ideally suited, or if you want to get sappy, meant to be. Soulmates find ways to maintain their relationships through all those challenges, but those who aren’t perfect for each other tend to struggle with it. It’s nobody’s fault; it just happens.
19He’s Just Not Trustworthy, Even After Years
A woman should always be able to trust the person she’s going to spend her life with. A life without trust is going to be filled with pain, heartbreak, anxiety, and paranoia, and it’s never worth it.
It’s possible to still love someone after they’ve proven that they can’t be trusted.
But it’s a better idea to work through those feelings and find a love that’s easier on the soul, rather than stay and forever wonder whether he’s being unfaithful.
18She Can’t Rely On Him When She Needs Him
One of the best parts of being in a relationship is being able to fall back on somebody else when times get tough. They don’t call it a “partner” for nothing; that person is supposed to be your other half, improve your life, help you when you need it, and have your back at all times. A real soulmate can be trusted and relied on. If a girl can’t rely on her partner to do those things for her, it’s not a good sign.
17He Doesn’t Want The Best For Her
Two people who are in love will always want the best for each other. Sometimes, it’s harder than other times because the best for that person means something inconvenient or even painful for their partner.
But if a girl’s significant other doesn’t want the best outcome for her and puts his needs above hers, he’s probably not meant for her.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a horrible person, but it does prove that he’s not loving her as well as somebody else can.
16There’s A Lot Of Judgment In The Relationship
Human beings tend to judge each other by nature, and if we’re being completely honest, people sometimes even judge their loved ones. But there’s a difference between making small, silent judgments, and being openly, offensively, and intimidatingly hypercritical. A partner is supposed to be someone to cry to when the world is being judgmental. A relationship shouldn’t feel like a war zone where everything someone does is up for critique and bashing from their significant other. If it does, it’s not the right relationship.
15They Don’t Operate Like A Team
The best couples tend to operate as a team. They’re in harmony and they think as two souls who are united.
They aren’t necessarily joined at the hip, but they do take each other’s needs into consideration when they make decisions and they always support each other to achieve goals together.
It’s a sign that a girl isn’t with the perfect partner for her if she’s been committed to him for a while but still feels like she’s operating as a single lady.
14She Feels Uncomfortable Or Even Unsafe At Times Around Him
It’s a huge red flag in a relationship if a woman has to worry about her safety when she’s around her boyfriend or husband. And of course, it works the other way too. Relationships are like capsules of safety that people find comfort in, not forces that endanger lives and violate people in either visible or invisible ways. A girl should always think again if her partner ever makes her feel unsafe or uncomfortable without listening to her feelings on the matter.
13The Relationship Doesn’t Revolve Around Common Values
A few differences can actually keep things really interesting in a relationship. So of course, two people don’t have to have absolutely everything in common to call each other soulmates. That said, there are certain things that they should be aligned with each other on.
They can have their disagreements, but their core values should reflect one another’s.
If a girl believes in a monogamy and her man doesn’t, for example, somebody’s going to get hurt. They might love each other, but they don’t fit.
12They Don’t Understand Each Other On A Deep Level
Many people who believe they’ve found their one confirm that the best part about it is finally being understood. In a world where so many crave acceptance and understanding, this is a wonderful and important part of being with a soulmate. When a girl is with her person, she will feel understood, even if she’s sometimes challenged for her own personal good and growth. And likewise, she will understand him where others don’t and will know how his mind works.
11Even After A Long Time, They Can’t Read Each Other
It can take a lifetime to really get to know someone. A girl might still be learning new things about her partner all the time.
But there should come a point where she can read him without him having to say a word- and he should be the same with her.
We’re not saying people should develop mind-reading powers, but just get to know each other well enough to be able to tell when the other person is upset, even if they don’t say anything.
10She Spends More Time Unhappy Than Happy With Him
People can get so caught up in chasing the perfect relationship that they forget what the point of having one is in the first place. Some commit because they’re afraid to be alone, some because all their friends have, and some simply because they’ve been taught that it’s the right thing to do. But the real function of a relationship is to enhance our lives. If they’re making us unhappier than we were before, it’s time to take action. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
9The Opposites In The Relationship Make Things Too Hard
Like we mentioned, there are going to be some differences in every relationship that are going to make things difficult at times. That’s why compromise is a crucial element in all healthy relationships.
But sometimes, the differences can get to be too much, even when the love is real.
If one person lives to travel and seek new adventures while the other lives to raise a family and run a routine, they might find that love isn’t enough to keep them together.
8There’s No Physical Attraction
Physical attraction is a biggie. Personality, values, morals, goals and all those things are super important, but without that basic physical attraction that kicks it all off, a relationship is probably just a friendship in disguise. When we say physical attraction, by the way, we don’t mean someone has to be conventionally attractive to qualify as a soulmate. It’s just that the two people in the relationship have to physically desire each other at some level, regardless of what they actually look like.
7There Are Other People She’d Rather Spend Time With
A girl should never abandon everybody else in her life once she falls in love. That said, if she’s with that one person who was made for her, she’s probably going to crave seeing him a lot, especially in the beginning.
It’s still a good idea for her to make time for everyone, but when she hangs out with him, she should enjoy it.
It’s not a great sign if she’s wishing she was with her friends instead or skips out on her man to be with the girls.
6They No Longer Have Fun Together
It’s important not to let the fun fizzle out altogether in a relationship. Sure, there’s considerably more fun in the initial honeymoon phase, but two partners should still enjoy each other’s company even when they’ve descended from fantasyland into the real world. If he’s really her person, the relationship won’t just be a habit that she feels she can’t break. It will still be something she enjoys putting time into. There will still be laughter, even as things get more serious.
5When There’s A Silence Between Them, It’s Awkward
Awkward silences. Gotta love ‘em! It’s pretty much impossible for two people to keep the conversation flowing from the second they start dating to the time they sit hand-in-hand in a nursing home.
Silences are a part of the natural flow of conversation, and if two people are right for each other, they won’t feel compelled to fill those silences when they’re together.
Obviously things are different in the beginning, but eventually, two soulmates will be comfortable in each other’s silent presence.
4The Respect Is Gone (Or Was Never There)
Respect is a non-negotiable element in healthy relationships and the very first feeling that soulmates will have for each other. As soon as one partner stops respecting the other partner, things head downhill quite quickly. Of course, it’s possible for a girl to still have strong feelings for her man who’s lost respect for her, but that doesn’t mean that he’s the right person for her. Without respect, she’s opening herself up to other negatives in the future as the relationship progresses.
3He Never Compliments Her
Flattery goes a long way, even when two people have been together for a while.
A relationship shouldn’t really consist solely of one person showering the other with endless compliments, but they should still make an appearance from both sides.
After a time, people can simply forget to compliment and appreciate the people they love. Both girls and guys can always bring it up if they feel like their partner never says anything to help them feel good in the relationship.
2She Imagines Herself With Other People
1He Doesn’t Improve Her Life In Any Way
The bottom line is a soulmate or the perfect person for her will improve a gal’s life. That’s not to say that her life is empty until she meets him.
It’s just that meeting him will inject her life with an extra dose of happiness.
These kinds of relationships can still complicate other areas of life, but they add improvements to most. If the guy she loves doesn’t do anything to enhance her life or make her happy, she has a few questions to ask herself.