When you break things off with a cheater, you feel like you’ve reached your breaking point. You lose all hope for a better tomorrow and you expect every man from your future to treat you the same way this asshole did.
Then, all of a sudden, you meet someone worthy of your love and attention. You meet a mature man who is faithful and loyal and who acts as if he’d never do anything to hurt you.
Once this happens, your entire world view becomes different. For the first time ever, you start to see yourself and everything around you more clearly and you go through numerous changes. Here are the 4 most important ones.
1. You still have trust issues
I have to disappoint you—not everything goes smoothly the moment you find a loyal man because sadly, you still have a lot of past traumas to get over. These issues you’re still carrying around as a heavy burden don’t go away as easily and unfortunately, they impact your new relationship.
First and foremost, you can’t believe that you’ve found someone so different from your ex. You’re wondering if this new guy has some kind of secret agenda and if he plans on screwing you over the same way your ex did. You can’t believe that you’ve found someone this nice and you’re worried that this guy is too good to be true.
2. You realize how toxic your relationship actually was
Let’s be honest here—throughout your entire relationship, deep down, you always knew that things shouldn’t be like that. You knew that you shouldn’t keep on forgiving that infidelity and mistreatment but you kept on doing so anyhow.
Simultaneously, you also lied to yourself. You kept convincing yourself and everyone else that your relationship wasn’t that bad after all and you kept on ignoring your strong intuition, despite knowing the truth.
However, now, things have changed. Now that you have something to compare it with, you see how awful and toxic your past relationship actually was. For the first time ever, you realistically see all of its horrors and the pain you’ve been through.
Finally, you see what a healthy and normal partnership should look like and you understand that this wasn’t anything similar to what you had. Of course, all of this negative experience from the past taught you to be even more grateful for this loyal man you have by your side.
3. You realize what you deserve
For years, your ex was putting all the blame on you. He kept diminishing your value and manipulating you to think that you weren’t worthy of love and that you deserved everything that had been going on.
After a while, you started believing him. He managed to persuade you that you really weren’t destined to be loved and that he was the best you’d ever get.
However, now you see that none of this is true. Now you see that all of this time, you were actually settling for less and that you deserve way more than you were getting. You see that love is meant for you after all and that you can be loved more than you ever were.
4. You regain your confidence
Being cheated on destroys everyone’s confidence. You wonder why you weren’t enough for the man you loved so much that he had to find someone else. What was he missing in your relationship, that he had to look for outside of it?
Things get even worse when a cheater refuses to take responsibility and when he does everything in his power to convince you that you are good for nothing and that you caused everything that happened. Consequently, your insecurities grow and your self-image becomes a total wreck.
Well, happily for you, all of this changes when you dump this cheater and switch to a real, mature and loyal man. This man sees your worth and makes you think of yourself more as well.
He appreciates and respects you, which inspires you to regain your self-respect as well. This man’s love makes you look at yourself through different eyes and it makes you love yourself more. And that is the whole point, isn’t it?