In case you don’t know what it means to be an emotionally unavailable woman, let me explain briefly. She has a hard time to open up and talk about her feelings.
Maybe she had a troubled childhood or everyone taught her she can’t talk about her feelings openly. She is someone who has low self-esteem and who is commitment-phobic.
She believes she doesn’t deserve anything good in her life and that people will let her down sooner or later. She tends to choose unavailable partners because in that way, she can distance herself.
That’s why all her romantic relationships fail. She could never find happiness with anyone, and she thinks she never will. Whenever someone tries to approach her, she creates a wall around herself. That is her defense mechanism because she doesn’t want to be hurt again.
All she wants is emotional availability and a committed relationship, but it is hard for her to develop them. If you see some of the following signs, be her best friend and help her develop a long-term relationship. That will benefit her mental health, and she will again be that happy girl who loves life so much!
1. She is not interested in getting to know you
A woman like this doesn’t want to get to know you better because she is scared of what she might reveal. The truth is that all of her previous relationships taught her to protect herself since she has been hurt many times.
Now, it has become a part of her life, her defense mechanism. And she can’t do a lot about it. But if you put some effort and show her that love is a beautiful thing, she will eventually open up to you. She just needs some time, and if you give her what she needs, she will transform your life into the most beautiful love story.
2. She is casual about relationships
An emotionally unavailable woman is not like the rest of the women. She is totally casual about relationships, and she will admit it. She behaves like someone who doesn’t care. but in fact, she just keeps her guard up. If you try to make a long-term relationship with her, she might get scared and vanish.
She won’t come back until she feels good about it. You can call her. but she won’t answer. You can text her. but she won’t text you back. She will be the unavailable partner you didn’t have before. But there is something mysterious about her that will make you try to get to know more about her.
The most important thing is that you give her time to learn more about the new emotions she is facing. First of all, you need to become her best friend, so she can relax and later develop an intimate relationship with you.
3. She is available if she wants to be
An emotionally unavailable woman won’t care about your feelings so much. Not because she doesn’t want to but because she thinks it is not important. Just because she doesn’t put her feelings first, she thinks that she shouldn’t do it for others as well.
As you start to get to know her better, you will sometimes recognize that bitchy way of treating others. But that is not her at all. That is just her defense mechanism. She thinks that others won’t hurt her if she doesn’t catch any feelings for her. Those are traumas from her past relationships while she was dating unavailable men.
She needs a lot of time and patience to recover and be the old version of herself. But if you give her your support and care, she will reciprocate in multiple ways.
4. She asks for attention all the time
She will ask for your attention all the time, and that is a part of her. If you talk to someone else while she is there, she will interrupt you so many times just so you could pay attention to her.
Things like that are red flags you shouldn’t ignore but try to work on. Just because she had heartbreak in her previous relationship doesn’t mean that she can act badly toward you. Because of her past partners who were narcissistics, she struggles to make healthy and committed relationships.
An intimate relationship doesn’t mean the same to her and to someone else. She fears giving her heart to a man while others crave something like that to happen. Unavailable people are her people and she feels the best in their company.
5. She doesn’t like any type of commitment
An unavailable woman fears any type of commitment because of her past relationships. She was probably a victim of some narcissist who destroyed her, and now she has health concerns. She suffers from low self-esteem, and all her romantic relationships are mostly a fail.
If she acts like this, just know that this is just one of the telltale signs of a woman who has been through a lot. She probably had a troubled childhood where she couldn’t talk about her emotions openly, and now she has problems with her mental health.
But even if she faces all these problems, she also needs someone to love her. So, just because it will take a little bit more to win her over, don’t give up because she is worth it.
6. She is dominant
Some guys really like dominant women, but if you feel like a fool every day because she makes all the life decisions instead of you, you will eventually explode. So please, don’t let that happen. Be aware of the fact that she is emotionally cold and doesn’t have feelings for others.
She will always want to be the one who rules everything and who makes all the important decisions, not even asking you if you are okay with them. Remember that a relationship is not a one-way street and that you should also decide about things that matter to you. It is true that unavailable people do things like this, but if you hold your line, she will respect it.
On the other hand, if you let her walk all over you, she will definitely use that. Since this is one of the biggest red flags, I suggest you talk to her openly about the future of your relationship. That is the only way you can develop a healthy relationship with her.
7. She will make you feel guilty about everything
Emotionally unavailable women will never admit that they made a mistake. That’s why a woman like this will try to make you feel guilty about everything. If you two fight about something, she will act like a victim, and she will never allow you to get away with anything that hurt her.
She has an enormous need to control everything and to blame you for the things you didn’t do. She has suffered some pretty big heartbreaks in the past, and that’s why she acts like this with you.
Her emotional unavailability is making her look like a bitch. I am not saying she is, but that is how it looks. The truth is that she needs to work hard on improving herself, and once she realizes how to act in a relationship, she will be an ideal woman to be with.
8. She never relies on you
This woman won’t rely on you because she doesn’t need anyone’s help. She thinks that she doesn’t need a man to complete her and that she is already whole. That’s why she would rather struggle with getting something done instead of asking for your help.
She knows that is a bad thing, especially in love relationships, but she can’t help it. This isn’t something that should surprise you because most unavailable people do this. Her past relationships left scars on her heart so deep that she won’t recover that easily. She doesn’t want you to fix her but to hold her while she is fixing herself.
Even if she is in a long-term relationship, she won’t let her man come close to her. She will always be the one who will take care of herself and who will fight for her own rights.
9. She wants it all
One of the telltale signs of an emotionally unavailable woman is the fact that she wants it all, and she wants it now. Sometimes she acts like a child who wants that candy but can’t get it. That’s why the relationship with her will be hard to handle.
She will always put herself first, and she won’t think about your feelings so much. That doesn’t mean she is bitchy. It just shows that she has gone through a lot in her past relationships. She thinks that if she doesn’t get everything at the same moment, you don’t love her.
What she doesn’t understand is that the world doesn’t revolve around her and that others have feelings as well. If you care about her but you see that you can’t have a normal relationship with her, try to talk to her. Explain to her that she needs to start living by some new rules and that that is the only way to develop a normal relationship with you.
10. Her career is more important than you
I know a career is very important to all of us, but we should distinguish between our private and business lives. It is a fact that money makes the world go round, but that shouldn’t be a priority for her. It means your life is less important than her business goals and her clients.
Tell her that you two should each take some time for your business lives but on the other hand, you should spend some time taking care of things that happen in your love lives. Explain to her that relationships are all about love and support and that you can’t give her everything that if she doesn’t want to repay you with the same. If she cares about you at all, she will listen to you and change.
But if not, you can’t force her to do something that she doesn’t want to do. All you can do is to offer her your help. The rest is on her. It is up to her if she will accept your help or not. Even if she doesn’t, don’t take it too personally—because she definitely won’t!
11. She expresses love in strange ways
The fact is she does feel things, but when it comes to expressing her feelings, she just freezes. If you feel bad about it, you can just imagine how it feels for her. Some women do this on purpose in order to make guys respect them.
I would say that this is a proven tactic for a happy relationship. On the other hand, women like this can’t affect the way they feel. I mean, they can pretend, but everything has its expiration date.
With her, you will always feel a little bit awkward, and you will never know if she is pretending to be happy with you or she really is. If you think you can adjust to her temper and her behavior, then you should stay with her. But if you feel bad about the way she acts, it is time to separate because you will just suffer more. Who knows—maybe you start dating again after everything falls into place.
12. She prefers listening
If you caught yourself with a woman who tends to listen more than speak, you can be sure she is emotionally broken. For some reason, she feels better when you are the one who is talking.
Sometimes she wants to hear your opinion, so talk while you can because this sort of woman is very moody. It means she will let you talk one moment, and the next, she will say that she has a headache and will just leave. That happens because of her mood swings, but if you know her well, you will know that she doesn’t mean anything bad when doing it.
She just feels she should do something like that, and she does it not think about how you will feel. Maybe to some, that is strange, but to her, it is completely normal to put herself first and do things she feels comfortable with.
13. She thinks you are not worth being with her
Even if you act crazy by buying her expensive gifts, making romantic dinners and wearing your heart on your sleeve all the time, for her that’s not enough. She would object to every guy who approached her, though, and that’s a fact.
It means you can work your ass off, but she still won’t be pleased. I just wonder why women like this have this kind of opinion. Is it something in their genes or have they suffered a trauma during their childhood? Because, honestly speaking, I can’t find any other valid reason for that kind of behavior. You should know that no matter how much you try, you will never be enough for her.
A woman like this will keep being unavailable until she resolves the issues inside herself. It is not about you—it is about her, and no, this is not a cliché. She will never settle for less than she deserves, and if she doesn’t think you are the right one for her, all your efforts will be in vain.
14. She is a perfectionist
Let’s be honest—I am also a perfectionist, but I am not as cold as an ice cube. I have feelings for others, and sometimes their happiness is more important to me than my own. The catch is, this is one of the common signs of an emotionally unstable woman.
If you want to be her partner, you will probably have to be a freaking rocket scientist. These women always aim high, and they never stay in a relationship with an average guy.
She is the kind of woman who wants to use all of her potential and use life as best as she can. She knows what she wants from her life, and she won’t accept anything less than that! So if you think that you are strong enough for her, just bring it on, and make the first move.
Just know that it won’t be so easy to handle her since she will want everything to be by her own rules. So, I am asking you: Are you strong enough to love a broken woman?
15. She is constantly angry
It is okay when people are angry for some reason, but she doesn’t have any reason to feel that way. She gets mad about some trivial things that you could handle by just talking. Whenever she has the chance, she will complicate things instead of making them simple.
You will see that in a life with her, you will never get as much as you give and that no matter how much you try, she will never be satisfied.
The bottom line is that emotionally unstable women are very difficult to live with. If she is like that at the beginning of your relationship, you can just imagine how brutal she will be after 10 years of marriage.
She could transform into something that you would never want to see in your wildest dreams, and to be honest, it won’t be something that you will like. If you notice some of these signs, think twice before you put a ring on it!
16. She doesn’t even want to understand you
A woman like this won’t try to put herself into your shoes. That is simply not something she does because she always puts herself first. Even if you are suffering and you have some problems, she will talk about things that she has problems with.
She won’t even listen to you because it is not important how others feel but how she feels. She is sometimes pretty selfish, so think twice before you start any serious relationship with her.
Chances are weak that she will change unless she starts working on herself. She needs to change her life from the core to be able to provide a man with a happy and healthy relationship.