12 Signs He’s Losing Interest And 5 Ways To Spark Things Up Again
Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there.
We have fallen for this amazing guy and everything is going great, until he just leaves, saying how it doesn’t feel right or how he’s not happy.
And we’re left wondering whether there was anything we could have done, if there were any signs that he was unhappy or if he was simply drifting away from us.
We over analyze every relationship that comes after, looking for signs he’s losing interest and we can’t help ourselves.
That’s why we’re here to put your mind at ease and point your attention toward those red flag signs that his interest in you might be slowly drifting away.
If you go through these signs and you are still of the idea of working things out with him and preventing him from losing interest, we have some great pieces of advice for you to follow.
So let’s start:
1. He’s not available on the phone like he used to be
Texting was a must. You used to send text messages back and forth all day long and throughout the night and your phone calls lasted for hours. But lately, you find yourself eagerly waiting for his response, only to see none.
You find yourself staring at a blank screen, losing all hope that he will answer your texts. Suddenly, he’s always busy, he forgets his phone, he forgets to answer or to let you know that everything is okay.
This is one of the first warning signs that he’s losing interest because he simply doesn’t want you around him all the time.
2. He’s making excuses
In the beginning, he was always around, always there when you needed him, always there to help you out and always looking for your support and backup. But now he’s all alone, independent and working all the time.
He has crazy deadlines, he has to do this or that now, he doesn’t think he will be there at the agreed time.
It’s simple; as soon as a person starts giving you excuses that are hard to believe, they don’t really want to spend time with you.
3. He stopped asking questions
About you, about your life, about your feelings. When we’re asking questions, it means that we’re interested in the other person.
It means that we want to know them better, that we want to know how they feel about certain things and we want to know what they love. But as soon as the questions stop, it means he’s not interested in the things you have to say, he’s not interested in checking on you.
He’s no longer interested in you.
4. He has become rude and defensive
If the man you once knew, the man you fell in love with, was always kind, caring and opened up to you but has turned into this cold, rude and defensive man, it’s not a sign that something’s wrong with him or you.
It’s simply a clear sign that the guy is losing interest in the relationship and he doesn’t know how to cope with it so he becomes distant and cold. And as soon as you start asking questions and demanding answers, he turns defensive, because he’s not yet aware of your relationship failing.
He’s not aware of him distancing himself from you and thus hurting you.
5. There’s no intimacy anymore
You used to make love all the time, you just couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. You can still remember the times when you two enjoyed all those nights of romantic lovemaking and other nights of raw, sensual sex.
But now, it’s been weeks since the last time you hugged each other or the last time you enjoyed each other’s bodies.
A lack of intimacy is definitely a big sign that a guy is losing interest but it could also be a sign that he’s having some health issues or problems at work.
Unless he refuses to admit that there’s a problem or if he refuses to talk about it, then it means that his interest is long gone.
6. There is only intimacy
This is the flip side of the previous sign. His main focus is on how to get into your pants and nothing more.
He disappears for days at a time and then suddenly a text message from him lights up your phone with a last-minute proposal to hang out.
All in all, if all the other aspects of the relationship, like keeping in touch, spending time with you without sex, planning ahead and making efforts, aren’t there then he is definitely losing interest in you. He stopped treating you as a girlfriend and started treating you as a booty call.
7. He no longer notices the little things about you
He used to always notice when you would change the way you wore your hair, the new dress you bought or a new spice you used for cooking.
He used to notice when you were cold, offering you his jacket. And now you feel like you could freeze to death next to him and he wouldn’t even notice.
You feel like you’re a living ghost inside of your own home, inside of your own relationship. You’re there, but he simply doesn’t see you. His lack of interest is making you sad.
8. He’s no longer taking you into consideration
When he makes a decision, whether about his trips, his working hours or projects he’s working on, he doesn’t consider you or your feelings.
He has decided to put himself first and makes plans without you because your future together is ceasing to exist in his eyes.
He’s no longer interested in your feelings, maybe hoping that if he neglects you badly enough, you will leave him; you will be the bad guy and not him then.
9. He shows no initiative
You feel nostalgic about your first date and the beginning of your relationship because that was a period when he was actually making plans and putting in effort.
He used to make you surprise dinners, take you out on Friday nights and plan your little weekend trips.
But he no longer does those things and you have found yourself only looking at his back when he’s leaving the house.
He’s always running off to work, always tired and not interested in going out with you. He used to be so excited about movies and concerts you were going to see together but now he no longer mentions them, because he doesn’t want to see them with you.
When you plan a date upfront, that’s when you go out. But if it were up to him, you two would never leave the house together.
10. He’s picking fights
This is something guys often do when they’re losing interest in a girl they’re dating or if they’re gearing up for a break-up.
The idea is to drive you crazy and drain you with all of the fights you have, so that you will just give up. And those fights are over the smallest things, like who’s going to take out the garbage, whose turn it is to pay the bills, what kind of dress you wore to that business thing you had.
It’s not those things that truly bother him, it’s the relationship itself.
11. He is rude and disrespectful
This is one of the biggest signs of a guy’s fleeting interest. From a warm and loving creature, he has turned into a nitpicky, rude, offensive monster.
His every joke is directed to you. You feel like he is preying on your insecurities and makes them stick out. He ignores your existence. You can’t say anything right as he gets offended at every little thing.
These are all some of the shitty things men do when they want to break up with you. They treat you poorly so you will give up on them.
12. You have that gut feeling you can’t shake off
Sometimes, no matter what other people tell us, no matter what he tells us to ensure we know that he still loves us, no matter what we read in some magazine, we just know.
And sometimes we try so hard to ignore that feeling, we try harder to keep the relationship from falling apart, to keep us from falling apart.
But as someone who always tried harder and ended up broken, I know that it’s sometimes better to walk away from someone who doesn’t appreciate you enough than to hope for nothing and end up broken.
How To Spark Things Up Again
Before you even think about doing something about it, ask yourself, “Does this man really deserve me?”
We are sometimes so blinded by the love we have for that one person that we seem to miss all the red flag signs screaming that they are not right for us.
If you believe you and your man have something left to save and that he is losing interest just because you’ve slipped into a rut, then there are a few tactics to try to rekindle your love.
1. Be your charming self instead of your clingy self
I know your primary instinct is to chase after him and show him your value but sadly, that can only push him further away.
Stop being too available. Stop canceling your plans to be with him. Stop texting him if he isn’t texting you. Stop holding on too tightly because you will only suffocate whatever is left.
Follow his lead and don’t invest in him if he isn’t investing in you.
The scariest but best way to get a man to chase you again is by slightly ignoring him. Love life, love yourself and let him see the strong and independent women he can’t afford to lose.
2. Don’t pause your life until he makes up his mind
By desperately waiting for him to find time for you, you are not doing either of you a favor. In the first place, you are making yourself miserable. Secondly, you are making him take you for granted because you are always at his beck and call.
Instead of spending your Friday night glued to your phone, waiting for him to ask you out, make plans with your friends, go out, catch a movie or order a cocktail; do something fun and distract yourself from everything.
Make sure you post your night out on social media. He is probably imagining you not having a life and pining away for him at home but prove him wrong.
3. Show him what you are made of
It sounds a bit strange but the best way to spark his interest again is by working on yourself. Many times, we change during the course of our relationship, we lose ourselves in the process of loving another human being.
Take a step back and think about the girl he fell in love with. Who were you back then? Why did he fall in love with you in the first place?
4. Be honest with yourself: Are you asking for too much too soon?
One of the most common reasons guys lose interest is because they feel like they are under too much pressure.
Your relationship must progress naturally, you can’t force yourself on anybody. You can’t make someone commit to you fully if they are not ready. You can’t spend every waking moment of every hour glued to your partner. You can’t text non-stop.
The best dating advice you will ever hear is that you both have to have your own lives to create a life together.
You have to have your interests, friends and personal space to spend time together with more quality and meaning. Creating space guarantees a healthy relationship; it won’t make you more distant.
5. Stir up his perception of you
If you follow the four previous steps to a T, you will have a shocking effect on your partner. He will wonder what the hell is going on, which is definitely a good thing.
Trace back to all the things you have been doing wrong and do them right the next time around. Surprise him with your independence and lust for life.
Become the best version of yourself and love will follow you like a trained puppy. The only question left is if the guy who is losing interest in you really your true love?