How many times have I wanted you to shut up. How many time have I wanted to scream at you to stop brainwashing me with your disgusting hurtful words.
I never could. I just stood there in front of you, frozen, unable to move a muscle, unable to speak to defend myself.
That is what years of your manipulation did to me. That’s how you managed to have complete control over me.
Every time we fought, it was the same thing all over again.
You screaming around the house, breaking things, and me sitting, staring in one direction, waiting for you to stop.
Even when you forced me to give you answers and talk to you, you wouldn’t let me.
I would start, a few words would come out of my mouth unwillingly, and then you’d cut me off. Then, you’d shame me even more.
Yes, I lived with a manipulator. I’m not ashamed of it anymore, not now that it’s all over.
These people are everywhere. You can’t avoid them. You can’t recognize them. That’s the whole point.
If you knew right from the start that someone close to you actually manipulates you, would you ever have stayed with that person?
No, sadly, you only realize when it’s too late. You realize you’ve been manipulated instead of loved only when you hit rock bottom.
Manipulative people know just what to say to keep you shushed and to trick you into feeling sorry for them. Everything they say always has a hidden agenda.
They are able to manipulate your emotions to bring you to your most vulnerable.
In that state you’re the easiest to manipulate and control.
The best solutions to deal with a manipulator is to completely cut them off from your life and to ignore their presence, but sadly, not all of us have the luxury of doing so.
When you don’t have a choice and for some reason, you have to stay in touch with your manipulator, here are a few comebacks you should use whenever you feel threatened:
1. “NO!”
Learn to be assertive. Learn to take a stand. There are a lot of self-help books which can do the trick.
The point is you need to learn to believe in yourself, and gaining some control over your feelings will definitely do you some good.
Your self-esteem is almost crushed to the ground because of his constant humiliation.
You don’t believe in yourself, and it makes you insecure. What you need to do is to break free from that emotional prison he put you in.
Say ‘no’ to him. Don’t be afraid because nothing bad will happen, and for the love of God, don’t fall for his tricks because while you’re fighting against him, he will try to make you feel sorry for him.
That’s his tactic to get you back out of pity.
2. “This time I’m going to choose myself.”
It’s hard to make such a change in your life, but for your own good, be brave enough and make the first step toward accepting and loving yourself for who you are.
You need to realize that you are not the one who screw things up. You are not the evil one, and you should never define yourself like that.
After all, why should you suffer because someone else has a corrupted soul?
Don’t feel sorry for people like that. Get away from them as soon and as far as possible.
Because, if you try to help them, they are only going to hurt you. Actually, they are counting on you helping them, so they can betray you, and once again get what they want.
3. “You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do!”
Don’t give up on yourself. You’re not meant to be in this world to be someone’s doormat.
There are much greater plans out there for you, so no one has the right to control you. Make him aware of that fact by taking a stand.
Manipulators prey on weak people because they are the easiest ones to control.
If you talk back to him and show him through your words and actions that you’re not weak, he won’t be able to touch you.
4. “Your words mean nothing to me!”
When a manipulator has a feeling that you’re slipping away from his grip, that you’re no longer under his control, he will try hard to lure you back in.
He will go out of his way to make all kinds of promises, saying the very things you want to hear.
He will change his attitude just to trick you into trusting his sudden change of heart.
5. “I’m busy now. We can talk some other time.”
Make sure he knows you’re not available to him every time it suits him.
Make him see that you have a will of your own, a free will and you’re able to make your own decisions without anyone interfering.
If you don’t feel like talking to him right now, he has no right or the power to make you. Make sure he knows that.
6. “Step away from me.”
Manipulators use intimidation as their strongest weapon. They use it when all other mind games fail. It’s their last resort.
If you’re in the middle of a fight and they don’t see a way of winning, they will walk into your personal space with the intention of scaring you.
Most victims can’t handle that kind of emotional pressure, so they fold and allow the abusers to get complete control.
Let your abuser know that you can’t be intimidated.
Even though you’re scared as hell, don’t let that fear show because fear is only making him stronger and more aggressive.
7. “I feel so sorry for you.” (read: sarcasm)
In order to get what they want, manipulators will try to provoke sympathy from you.
They will try to sell you some pathetic story, so you feel sorry for them and do things their way.
Don’t let them manipulate your emotional state like this. Show them that this time you mean it. This time you’re serious.
8. “We’ll talk when you calm down.”
They want you to react before you think. They want you to think emotionally and not rationally, so you say the first thing that comes to your mind and use it against you.
Don’t fall into that trap, and avoid talking to him during a high emotional state.
9. “I’m a person worthy of respect and love.”
Manipulators are counting on you feeling worthless. They need you to feel like you are a nobody, so it’s easier for them to control you.
By showing and saying to him that you are as important as anyone else in this world, that you deserve respect and love, you’re automatically ruining his plans, and you’ll make him powerless against you.
10. “I’m not letting you get inside my mind.”
Manipulators are the best at crossing every possible boundary you set up because they think they can.
And if you let them, you’re only encouraging them to continue doing whatever the hell they want without any respect for anyone around them.
If you let them know you refuse to be bullied and maltreated, they will back off.
Remember this one thing—as long as you’re dancing to the music he’s playing, you won’t be able to get away from his manipulative grip.
Take a stand and make a change in your life. Don’t be afraid of anyone.
