Too Bad You Started Appreciating Her When She Was Already Gone
She was one of a kind. A woman to love. She gave you her heart the moment she saw you not asking you to reciprocate in the same way. She went all in as she saw you for the first time.
She wanted to believe that you were the one for her. She thought that all your sweet words and your compliments were honest. She thought that you wouldn’t take advantage of her like some before you had. She thought that you were her happily ever after. She thought that she had found her twin flame love..
But she was wrong.
You never really saw her even if she was standing in front of you. You never thought that she was important. You took her for granted, thinking that she would always be there.
You thought that you bought her off with a couple of sweet words and gentle kisses. You thought that no matter what you did or how you behaved, that she would always be there for you.
And you know what the worst part was? She was.
When you were pushing her away, she tried so hard to get as close as she could to you. Every time you didn’t want to be with her and when you didn’t choose her, she gave you another chance.
She was the only one fighting while you gave up on her a long time ago. But I just don’t understand why. Nor does she. She couldn’t understand how you couldn’t love someone who gave you their love unconditionally.
Who gave you support, affection, respect and who was your best friend and your lover. She couldn’t understand what kind of man took advantage of a girl who accepted him the way he was, with all the baggage he had.
She couldn’t understand how you could betray someone who was madly in love with you, constantly wearing their heart on their sleeve. She couldn’t understand why she wasn’t enough for you.
She couldn’t understand why you always chose others over her. The ones who didn’t love you half as much as she did. She couldn’t understand why you never loved her the way she loved you. And that thought broke her heart. It broke it into pieces so small that they couldn’t be glued back together again.
After you broke her, she turned into a living corpse. She turned into someone who was there physically but who was emotionally far away. And when you saw that she was not the same person as before, you started noticing her.
When you beat her to emotional death, you started paying attention to her. You wanted to touch her hand and kiss her with passion like before but her hands were cold, like the kisses you took from her.
She was looking into your eyes but she didn’t see them. Instead, she saw an empty space where she could get lost without being afraid that someone would look for her.
From a happy and cheerful girl, she transformed into a girl who didn’t have any wish to live. She couldn’t stand that the man she was madly in love with betrayed her in that way. She couldn’t believe that you didn’t love her the way she loved you.
So she stopped trying for you. She didn’t want to be the only one saving your relationship. She couldn’t sit alone late at night and wonder if he would come back again. She gave up on you just like you did a long time ago.
Now, she doesn’t love you the way she used to. She doesn’t need your hugs or your kisses anymore. She doesn’t need you to tell her how beautiful she is or how you need her.
Because that is what you did. You loved her because you needed her and you didn’t need her because you loved her. And that makes a huge difference.
She won’t be the one who will cry anymore. Because she already gave all her tears to you and the shitty life she had with you. Her eyes don’t have any tears anymore. And you are the only one to blame for that.
And I know that now that she is gone, you have started to miss her. Fuck that. You started losing your mind because you let go of the most precious person in your life.
And after all this time, for the first time, you feel bad. You feel bad because you realized that she was always there for you while you rejected her so many times.
You realized that she always put you on a pedestal while you put her at the end of your list of priorities.
You figured out that she was the girl who would die for you if you asked her to but that you beat her to emotional death. And you had pretty nasty ways to do that—neglect, lack of love, lack of respect, taking her for granted, making sure that she felt like shit just so you could feel good.
And the worst part was that she put up with all your crap for such a long time. But she got tired at one point. And even if you thought that she was a good person and that she would always be there for you, she decided to stay single rather than to be with someone she had to beg to love her.
For the first time in her life, she put herself first. And she felt like she did the right thing.
Now, you don’t have her anymore. Now, she is far away from you. Far away with her own pain, her own thoughts and her broken heart.
But you know what? She will recover from everything that happened to her. And when she does that, she will be the old her again.
After everything she went through with you, she finally realized that she was trying to give all her love to the wrong person.
Now, she is aware that the only one she should love unconditionally and crazily is nobody else but herself!