I am writing this to you, to the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with. To the girl who stole him from me, stealing my happiness and desire to live. To you, who broke me and ruined my life.
At least, this was that I thought you did.
When he first cheated on me with you, I blamed you for everything that had happened. I was certain that this man loved me more than anything and that the two of us would have grown old together if you hadn’t interfered. I thought of him as a little, insecure boy who was seduced by an evil witch. I thought you must have manipulated him into cheating on me with you and eventually into choosing you over me.
It sounds pathetic, but if he hadn’t left me to be with you, I would have probably forgiven him for his infidelity. I thought of it as a passing moment of passion and as something we should both forget about, so we could move on with our lives. Of course, his betrayal and infidelity hurt me in an unimaginable way, but what really broke me was the fact that he chose to leave me to be with you.
Even when that happened, I didn’t want to accept the facts, so I kept thinking you were only one to blame for everything. For me, you were the cause of all of my misfortunes. On the other hand, I kept justifying him, trying to find excuses for everything he had done.
And I kept waiting for him to come back. I was convincing myself that he wanted to come back to me but that you weren’t letting him.
I was constantly comparing myself to you. What did you have and I didn’t? How come I couldn’t keep him by my side? I hated you and I started hating myself, as well.
It is only now that I see how foolish I was.
It took me more time than I would like to admit, but finally, I came to my senses. I won’t be talking about everything I went through in that period. I will only tell you that I was one step away from going insane. And when I saw I was about to hit rock bottom, somehow, I faced reality. Facing myself was one of the hardest things for me to do, but it was more than efficient. And it was liberating.
After a lot of introspection, I realized you were actually never to blame. He was a grown man who made his own decisions and his decision was to be with you. Nobody can force anyone to cheat on their partner. And after all, I was no one to you, so you didn’t have the responsibility to take care of my emotions. But, he did. This was the man who spent years of his life with me and he was the one who should’ve thought how his actions would affect me. But, he didn’t. He never once looked back, to think about the pain he has caused me.
While I was trying to put the pieces of me back together, he was happier than ever. He continued living his life, while I was left trapped in the past and in the imaginary future I had planned with him. And I hated both of you for it. I became obsessed with the two of you, waiting for your relationship to fall apart, so I could gloat. I thought that seeing the two of you miserable was the only thing that could bring me satisfaction.
Then I realized that my happiness shouldn’t depend on anyone else. The only person that could affect my happiness was me. I was the one creating my life and as long as I was holding on to resentment, I could never move forward.
And I finally found the strength to forgive you both.
And that was the best thing I have ever done.
I realized I had been your prisoner, without either of you even knowing it.
And when I finally moved on and looked at my relationship from a distance, it was the first time I saw it clearly. I remembered all of the times this guy had let me down, every time he had hurt me, every time he hadn’t respected me and every time he hadn’t loved me enough.
How come I didn’t see these things before? I was probably blinded, not by love for him, but by hatred for you.
I thought that the emotional pain I’ve been through was the worst thing that could have happened to me. But, it turned out to be the best.
If this hadn’t happened, I would never have known how strong and brave I really am. I would never have been aware of my true strength and worth. I would never have known what love should really look like and I would have spent the rest of my life settling for less. Because now I know that this guy never deserved me and everything I was giving to him.
You’ve taught me that there are some things and people which are not worthy of our regret. You’ve taught me never to allow a man to complete me, until I become a complete person on my own. You’ve taught me that when we hate, we become prisoners of that hate. You’ve taught me that forgiveness is the only way towards liberation.
And most importantly, you taught me that no one could love me until I learn to love myself.
If it hadn’t been for you, I would never have experienced the love I am feeling now. I would never have met a man who has made me the happiest woman alive. I am thankful because I am finally loved and respected in the way every woman should be.
When I think about it, you saved me. If it weren’t for you, I would probably have spent the rest of my life with someone who didn’t know how to love me enough and who didn’t know how to respect my love.
Isn’t life strange? I never thought I would end up thanking a woman for stealing my boyfriend, but here I am doing exactly that.