Have you ever noticed that most of us have a habit of holding on tightest to the one we know we should let go of? To the person who, deep down, you know is not cut out for you? That we suffer the most when we lose the one who was never really ours in the first place?
And you are no exception. Even though this person we are talking about physically left your life a while ago, they are still quite present in your mind. This man you miss so deeply is still the only one you can think about, even though you think you are trying hard not to.
You did everything in your power to forget all about him; you’ve cut all ties with him, you got rid of everything that might remind you of him and you cut off all the people who connect the two of you. You followed the no contact rule, you blocked his number and you unfollowed him on all of his social media accounts.
Everyone around you assumes that this man is nothing other than a part of your distant past. Even the ones closest to you are convinced that you’ve gotten over him and that you’ve moved on with your life completely, as if he was never a part of it.
But the truth is different. The truth is that you’ve learned to live without him to a certain extent but that you are still consumed by the thought of this man.
That he is still the first thing that goes through your mind the second you wake up and that his image is the last thing you see when you are about to close your eyes and fall asleep. The truth is that you still feel butterflies every time you see someone who looks like him or you hear a voice similar to his.
And most of all—the truth is that you still hope that one day, he’ll come back to you, admitting that he made a mistake when he walked out on you. That you still wait for his phone call and that you hope it’s him every time you hear the sound of receiving a text message.
But that is something you refuse to admit to anyone, including yourself. Because despite all of the feelings you still have for this man, deep down, you know that you guys aren’t meant to be. You aren’t happy without him but you are also aware that you wouldn’t be anywhere near happiness with him either.
So basically, you aren’t holding on to this man—you are holding on to the memory of him and to the potential of your relationship. You are holding on to the beautiful moments you shared and to the things that could have been of the two of you, if he had chosen to be different.
I hate to be the one to break it to you but you are doing all of this because subconsciously you want things to be like this. You want to hold on to him, even though you know that you’ll have to let go sooner or later.
And you know why? Because your memory is the only thing that keeps this relationship alive.
Because if you let him go, if you truly stop thinking about him and if you do your best to erase this man from both your mind and heart, it means that you accept it is over. It means that you accept that this guy is just a part of your past. And most of all—it means that you accept that he isn’t coming back.
Even though you think you are ready to do this, it is clear that you aren’t. It is more than obvious that you don’t want to move on with your life and that you are more comfortable with your painful thoughts because with time, they’ve become familiar to you.
With time, you’ve allowed the pain to define you and it has become a part of you. And even though it hurts like hell, it has become your comfort zone that you are too scared to abandon.
But let me tell you one thing—you can’t spend the rest of your life living like this. Sooner or later, you’ll have to understand that holding on to something that you know wasn’t meant to be yours is pointless.
And when this happens, you’ll turn around and you’ll see that you wasted precious years of your life on a man who isn’t and never will be yours. That you’ve caged yourself with memories and that you are the one who kept herself stuck in one place.
So please, look the truth in the eye and accept the end. Stop looking for closure, for an explanation, stop overthinking about all the possible scenarios and reasons for your relationship to end the way it did. Just accept that the two of you weren’t meant to be and let go.
Because only when you do that will you clear the path for the man who is really destined to be yours. Only when you really let this guy go from your heart and thoughts will you be able to move on for real. Only when you do that, will you feel liberated.