5 signs that you give more than you receive in a relationship.
“ The habit of giving may be in your good heart, but each of us must use this quality wisely. A person’s rational thinking tells him when to give, what to give, and to whom to give without causing harm to himself or others.” – Michelle Roya Rad, “Are You a Generous Person?”
All people can fairly be divided into three categories: those who love to give; those who love to receive; as well as those who love to both give and receive.
Most people fall into the third category, and there is nothing bad or wrong about giving and luring in equal measure.
However, there is also a minority that can be described as only “givers” and only “takers.” The actions and behavior of the first group of people are determined by a benevolent character, while the motives of the second group of people are based on their interests.
You give more than you receive in relationships
Predisposed people to give are warm-hearted, selfless, and empathetic. However, if boundaries are not set, giving can become counterproductive and unhealthy.
Essentially, a giving person needs to be able to balance between his innate goodness and the realities of this world.
Why is it so important to balance giving and common sense?
- you will not be used;
- Your social circle will not include selfish people;
- you won’t be constantly tugged at by everything in the hope of getting help from you;
- those people you care about (children, brothers, and sisters) will be able to show a desire to become more independent and self-reliant;
- you will be able to get rid of guilt and regret.
Now answer the question: “Are you sacrificing yourself too much ?”
There are 5 potential signs that you are overcommitting. Let’s start!
Here are 5 signs you’re giving more than you’re getting in a relationship.
1. You rarely say “no”
Not being able to say no can be harmful. Have you ever agreed to something with a smile on your face even though you felt awkward inside? If yes, then this can be considered a sign of your over-commitment.
You have the right (right!) to say “no,” with or without explanation.
Try this: Answer briefly, politely, and confidently. For example: “I’m very busy with my project. I hope you can find someone else.”
2. You don’t have enough time for yourself
Unfortunately, selfless actions do not stop time. We all have things to do, people to meet, and places to go. Each of us needs time for sleep and for entertainment.
Rest and the desire to relax is a human need, not an option. Your brain and body must be fueled with strength and energy for you to be a productive and happy person (this is physiology!). Do yourself a favor and find time in your schedule for yourself.
If it helps, think of rest as fuel for your body to help you become the best version of yourself.
Try this: Find an hour or two in your schedule each day for yourself. This time is only yours. People should be aware of these hours and not disturb you during this time.
3. You always solve other people’s problems
Let’s say it’s 21.00, and after a hard day, you can’t wait to put your tired feet up and relax. Just at that moment the phone rings!
Next, over the phone, you listen to a friend tell you about his problems. You are too polite to cut the conversation short, so you listen…and listen. After about 20 minutes, your friend asks for your opinion/solutions regarding his situation.
Try the following: Turn off your phone (if you don’t have this option, ignore unnecessary calls), or go to a quiet place.
Most importantly, stop being a psychotherapist for other people, you already devote too much of your time to them!
4. There is a lot of drama in your life. Youu have a deep sense of stress and drama, and you don’t know why. If you sacrifice yourself too much, you automatically allow a lot of drama into your life.
Try this: Think of the solution to the question as an equation. More dedication (BS) + More people (BL) = More drama (BD), or BS+BL=BD. Please do what you want with this equation, but know that it’s time to change something!
5. Your happiness suffers.
Even though givers enjoy helping others, by nature they are human beings just like everyone else.
Elevated levels of stress and adrenaline can lead to unintended consequences, including changes in brain chemistry.
When this happens, it can be very difficult to predict how it will end. However, anxiety and depression (or symptoms thereof) are quite common.
Try this: please, for the sake of your health, stop doing this. Otherwise, not only will your mental and physical health suffer, but you will also not be able to help anyone around you.
If your symptoms persist, try the following few tips.
Try meditation (a natural and proven method for reducing stress!).
Start saying no. Practice deep breathing techniques. Visit a psychologist or psychotherapist.
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