Why you can’t live with someone you don’t love? There are many reasons why couples enter into relationships. Fear of loneliness is far from the last place on this list. Many people are afraid of being left in an empty house in old age and want someone to remember them after death, says Inga Kaysina. Family provides insurance and confidence. “You’ll get used to it and fall in love,” as they say. However, many psychologists believe that loneliness is not the worst option if, on the opposite side of the scale, there are relationships based on habit. Today we will talk about why you can’t live with someone you don’t love.
1. Misconceptions about happiness
Society and modern culture have implanted in the minds of many people the idea that single men or women cannot be happy. You have before your eyes the example of your parents, more “successful” friends. And they all vie with each other to ask when to expect radical changes in your life.
However, this idea is fundamentally wrong. Just because there is another person next to you, you will not find happiness. For an ideal union with someone, one big condition is necessary: love. Imagine what will happen if the marriage is not based on feelings.
2. Many restrictions
By letting another person into your home, you limit your life and your rights, but at the same time, you acquire additional responsibilities. You will both try to live according to a pattern, limiting your own desires and needs only because it is accepted and “everyone does it.”
On the other hand, you limit the other person’s desires and needs. Now you both have to adapt to each other.
In such conditions, life without feelings is like hell, where each partner wants to be alone with themselves, to finally breathe freely. Understand that finding a partner is not an equivalent of success or a sign of entering adulthood.
3. Relationships for the sake of relationships will soon exhaust themselves
A single person is free to do as he wants, and he has the main thing: freedom of choice. Currently, as an alternative to the usual family life, there are several types of relationships. People actively practice unions without a stamp on the passport, guest marriages, and “love at a distance”.
It is worthwhile to tie your fate with another person forever only when you understand that you make each other’s lives better. If there are constant arguments and dissatisfaction in your relationship, it will eventually come to an end.
4. New social connections
A loveless relationship does not eliminate the need for regular meetings with your partner’s friends or relatives. You will follow all these rules of etiquette, and it will be difficult for you to feel genuine sympathy for strangers.
When a person is lonely, he can leave a party at any time, citing urgent matters. No one will stop him. If he is thirsty for communication, he goes to a bar and talks to strangers there. And it does not matter at all whether he will ever see his new companions again or not.
He doesn’t have to look back at his partner every time or catch reproachful glances from his relatives. By doing one thing or another, he won’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
People living in big cities see several hundred faces every day; they may not consider themselves lonely at all. All doors are open to you, and there is no reason to tie yourself with a strong rope to a person who is essentially indifferent to you.
5. Relationships without love make people even lonelier
When you want to choose something new, you bring several things to the fitting room at once. When you try on someone else’s ideal life model, no one can guarantee that this model will fit “like a glove.”
Gradually, you will begin to feel that you exist in a simulated reality. This feeling leads to a feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
Relationships themselves don’t bring happiness on a silver platter. Probably no one warned you about that. Two people living with each other are just the sum of two people. If you realize that there is no turning back and your relationship is based on lies and deceit, you will feel much more alone.
