11 Signs Your Partner Might Be Sleeping With Someone Else. No one likes to think about whether their partner is dating or sleeping with someone else. In a perfect world, no one would have to deal with the heartbreak that comes with cheating or being lied to. Unfortunately, these things happen. Hopefully, your relationship is one where open and honest communication precedes the possibility of your partner pursuing extramarital affairs.
“Cheating has nothing to do with how attractive you are.” Marie Helvin
But if that’s not the case, there are many ways to tell if your partner is sleeping with someone else. Some of these signs alone don’t mean your partner is cheating. You need to look at the big picture, the pattern of behavior, and see if it’s out of the norm.
Here are 11 signs your partner may be sleeping with someone else:
1. They don’t give you their phone.
If your partner hasn’t protected their phone in the past and “if you’ve noticed a change in their phone habits—like them carrying it around with them all the time, not leaving it unattended,” it could be a sign that there’s something there they don’t want you to see. Maybe you had no problem using your partner’s phone for something before, but now they seem to be extremely protective, even going so far as to put a password on it that prevents you from opening it.
2. They (too often) come home late from work.
If your partner typically gets home at a certain time every day but then suddenly works late, it could be an excuse for them to see someone else behind your back. It’s a pretty common excuse that many people don’t think too much about. As dating and relationship expert and etiquette expert April Masini says, “When someone stops coming home on time, be wary.” When the schedule changes and there’s no comment on why or what they’re doing differently, it could be because your spouse is cheating on you.
3. Take a shower as soon as they get home
Unless your partner does a job like construction or something else that is bound to get them dirty, showering as soon as they get home from work could be a sign that they are trying to wash away evidence of the other person. They may be trying to get some lipstick off or the smell of someone else’s cologne or perfume off of themselves. This is a sign, especially if their showering habits suddenly change.
4. Their sexual attraction decreases
People’s sex drives often fluctuate due to stress, diet, lack of exercise, or any number of other reasons. Fluctuating sex drives are not a sign in themselves. But if your sex life has always been fairly regular and they start to not want your attention anymore, it could be because their needs are being met elsewhere. But why does this happen?
Psychotherapist and author Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., says, “Most women cheat because they feel emotionally unhappy, and men are unfaithful because they often feel sexually unfulfilled.”
5. They seem absent when they have sex with you
Your partner may still be having sex with you , but they may not have the same rush of passion for you that they once did . If your sex is no longer exciting and fun and is just a few minutes under the covers with the lights off, it may be a sign that your partner is just trying to keep you calm while they get good sex elsewhere.
6. They began to pay more attention to their appearance
This sign doesn’t always mean they’re sleeping with someone else — especially if they’ve already discussed with you their desire to change their appearance. However, if your partner goes from not caring about how they look to suddenly grooming themselves, they may be trying to impress someone else.
If your partner suddenly starts looking much better than before, they may be cheating. If you are not sure that the person they are trying to impress is you, this may indicate a sign that your partner is lying to you.
7. They unexpectedly try something new in bed
Of course, this also doesn’t automatically mean that your partner is cheating on you. Usually, there will be something new going on between you. However, if your partner suddenly kisses you in a way that seems like they learned it somewhere or tries something new in bed without discussing it first, it could be a sign that they are actually doing these things with someone else.
8. You can never get a straight answer.
If your partner has stopped being open and honest in all of their communication, it’s probably a sign that they have something to hide from you. Getting a straight answer may seem impossible, even to something as simple as how their work day went. This could be a sign that they’re trying to hide something — or someone.
9. They developed new habits
These habits can be anything from suddenly being overly protective of their phone to refusing to talk on the phone. New habits that your partner exhibits will often be difficult to explain, and your partner may feel insecure if you try to bring them up. It could be a sign that they are seeing someone else and they don’t want you to know.
10. You feel like you are being ignored
One of the biggest signs that your partner is seeing someone else is the feeling you get when you know that you are no longer valued in the relationship. While your partner may think that it is enough to hide the evidence of this fact, they may not notice that they are treating you differently and making you feel unappreciated.
11. Your partner avoids your friends and family
If your partner was very active in your social or family life before but doesn’t seem to be very interested now, it could be a sign that they are trying to avoid consequences. They may feel extremely guilty about dating someone outside of your relationship, and seeing friends and family could be a reminder of that.
Most of these signs involve extreme and sudden changes in behavior. If your partner exhibits these signs, but they don’t seem out of the ordinary for your relationship, it’s unlikely that they’re seeing someone else.
As always, context is important to understand your partner’s behavior and whether or not they are seeing someone outside of the relationship. If you suspect this is the case, the best way to get an answer is to meet them directly and try to have an honest conversation about what’s going on.
