Relationship advice

Man Got Lost In My Dms

I heard you found me in your man’s DMs.

I am glad you saw his first ‘Are you free tonight?’ to me.

Did you click on my photo and read all my Instagram captions?!


Did you check my bio? Did you just follow me on Instagram??

If you want, you can add me on Facebook too because I am eager to see your stalking abilities.


You are very much welcome to come and hang out with me and my girls. We can talk about hair, make-up, clothes, movies and food, colors and weather, glitter and rainbows or we can get straight to the point—about men, heartbreaks and cheaters?

I know you probably hate me, even though I did nothing wrong. Your man did. I was just collateral, a victim who got her heart bruised in the process.

Searching, exploring and analyzing people’s profiles does not necessarily show you who they are. I am not my social media profiles. Nobody is.


Behind pictures, descriptions, likes, comments, shared songs, stories and posts with ‘heartbreaking poems’ by famous poets, there is a human with a tangled web of mess and desires, wishes and urges.

That is the place where you found me—among your man’s cravings and lust.

I’m wondering how you felt. Was it as bad for you as it was for me when I found out that you exist?

Is your anger bigger than my disappointment upon finding out he was taken? Is your jealousy as intense as my empathy? Do your tears hurt as much as my shattered confidence?


I am wondering about a lot of things I will never get an answer to, and that’s OK. Not everything in life deserves an answer or explanation.

Still, I want you to know that it wasn’t my fault your man got sidetracked.

I am a woman, just like you. In all my previous relationships, I gave as much as I could take.

Among all my desires, dreams, hopes and wishes that I keep hidden behind my perfect pictures, I have to take care of someone else’s too.


I know I accused you of stalking at the beginning but I am guilty of it too.

I clicked on your photo, checked your bio and read what you put in the descriptions of your photos. I don’t really know why I did that.

I guess I hoped I would get some answers. I guess I wanted to find some sense in this senseless situation.

I guess I just wanted to know what his girlfriend looked like.

I just wanted to know if you know that your man lost his way, betrayed you and ended up in my DMs.

I want you to know that as soon as I found out about you, I cut off all contact.

I comfort myself that I’ve learned about men and will not repeat the same mistake.

That I will double-check whether they are single or taken before I get my hopes up.

In a way, I feel sorry for both of us.

For you because he was stabbing you in the back and for me because it hurts not communicating with him anymore.

I got used to it. It was nice to have someone who gives you so much attention and thinks the world of you.

Now that I have found what lies underneath, I am feeling a whole spectrum of emotions and none of them are pleasant to feel.

Your man made a small mess in my life. But I guess once you find out who he really is, he is going to make an even bigger one of yours.

You see, his DMs haven’t stopped, even though I stopped replying. I’ve received 23 more messages in total from your man and I haven’t replied to any of them.

I know he expects me to answer sooner or later, but I don’t want to. For your sake or for my own.



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