How to React to Someone Flirting with Your Partner. What could be more wonderful than meeting the person of your dreams and falling in love? Maybe it was love at first sight. But what if someone else feels the same attraction and flirts with your partner?
Some people don’t like flirting with people who are clearly with someone. How can you handle such situations without looking like a green-eyed monster? Here are some helpful ways to react when someone flirts with your partner. Psychologists note that online flirting is also growing in popularity. So keep that in mind as you read these points.
Assess the situation
Picture this scenario: You’re out on the town with your significant other and you notice someone is flirting with you. It happens to everyone in a romantic relationship. Before you lose your cool and do something stupid, take a breath and assess what’s happening. First, was that stranger making eyes at you? On a crowded dance floor or in a busy restaurant, it can be impossible to tell if people are a “couple.” This stranger saw what you saw when you first met your significant other and did what came naturally.
If it’s someone you don’t even know, it’s probably a harmless oversight that you can ignore. Was it a simple flirtatious smile or a small wink? Try not to make a big deal out of something that the person meant no harm. As long as your partner doesn’t flirt back, you have nothing to worry about.
If it makes you feel any better, stand next to your partner, hold their hand, and smile. Then you can quickly and politely smile at the person who is flirting with your partner. Most people with any qualms will back off and flirt with someone else.
How does your partner respond?
This is where a small, innocent wink or a flirty smile gets complicated. Try to stay calm and watch your partner’s reaction. If you are in a loving and committed relationship, your partner will ignore it. When it comes to personal matters, expect them to say, “Sorry, I’m busy.” Since your partner did not reciprocate, you do not want to shift the blame to them. Blame the flirter. A person who loves you will not accept flirtatious overtures from others. Chalk it up to the fact that you are with a loved, attractive person. Let it go and enjoy the rest of your romantic time together.
When the flirting continues
Let’s say you notice someone flirting with your partner, but they don’t get your obvious hints. What do you do if the other person shamelessly keeps trying to flirt and makes you and your partner uncomfortable? It gets even more frustrating when you see that the person has cornered your significant other while you are on the other side of the room.
These are the times when it’s time for you to step in to diffuse the situation. You can step in without raising your voice or risking your dignity. Walk up to your partner, hug them, and introduce yourself to the person trying to flirt as their partner. Make good eye contact with the person and smile firmly. You can also ask, “Have we ever met?” Stay close to your partner and wait for the offender to leave.
Be the bigger person when someone flirts with your partner
When you are in love with someone, it is hard to watch someone flirt with your partner. If you keep your cool and rationalize the situation, you will be on the right track. It shows that you are confident in yourself and your relationship.
The last thing you want to do is cause a big scandal. Not only will it make you look bad, but it will also be a big embarrassment to your significant other. Be the bigger person and keep your dignity.
• When it’s time to confront it
It’s one thing for a stranger to flirt with your partner and quite another when it’s someone you know. Understand that some people are naturally flirtatious and mean no harm. Even then, you have the right to say what you want and what you won’t tolerate.
Are you in a group and the same person keeps flirting with your partner? After you’ve tried everything to show that their advances are unwanted, it’s time to speak up. The French call this “en tete a tete,” which means a face-to-face confrontation.
Rest assured that with reasonable people, it usually doesn’t come to this. However, some people are naturally so flirtatious that they don’t even realize what they’re doing. How you handle this conversation is crucial. You need to do it in a way that doesn’t come across as hostile. However, you need to get your message across to the person who is flirting with your partner. Choose your words wisely, calmly, and unapologetically. Set firm boundaries!
Most strangers will disappear once you introduce yourself as your partner’s significant other. Things get more complicated if the flirtatious person is a friend or family member. If a friend or family member has the nerve to flirt with your partner, they don’t respect you.
• What to say
If you need to confront someone about their offensive flirting with your partner, do it when you’re calm. Talking in the heat of the moment probably isn’t the best way to resolve the issue. Once you’ve had time to process the situation and talk to your partner, you can ask the person who was trying to flirt to join in on the conversation.
Discussing this in public is a bad idea. If necessary, bring your partner for support. Be firm, and polite, but direct about how you feel about the situation.
Tell the person that you wanted to draw their attention to something that is bothering you. Then be direct: “I know you like flirting, and maybe it doesn’t mean anything. However, you know that my partner is with me and is not looking for anyone else.
“When you flirt, we both feel uncomfortable and disrespected. I value our relationship, but this behavior needs to stop. If not, we will have to break up until you can respect our wishes.”
You can’t be more honest and direct than that. You’ve made the flirt understand enough to apologize to you and stop. If it’s a friend or relative, tell them you value their relationship, but you won’t talk to them until they stop.
• Dead end
If you are dealing with a narcissist or sociopath, your conversation may fall on deaf ears. If the behavior continues, keep your word and end the relationship with the person who is flirting with your partner.
Flirting is a natural part of human attraction. While most flirting may be harmless, there may be times when you need to speak up to your partner. Do so with dignity and respect for the partner you love.
