A psychologist explains whether it is possible to trust a cheater again.
We can be vulnerable in relationships with our romantic partners, but few people around us see this. When we are in a loving relationship, we share everything with our partner; we open our souls and let them into our hearts without thinking about whether they are worthy of it. And when it happens that we are deceived and betrayed, it becomes not just a surprise and shock, but a real tragedy. After such a shock, it becomes difficult to trust someone, and if this someone is also our ex…
We invite you to read this short article, in which a psychologist explains whether you can trust a cheater. We seem to be all adults and each of us has our own difficult relationship experience behind us, but this information will not be superfluous.
Can you trust a cheater again?
When we discover that our partner has had an affair, we may feel cruelly betrayed. Most of us tend to end the relationship immediately after discovering that our partner is cheating on us. However, can we ever trust them again? For those of us who have decided to keep such cheaters in our lives, this article may be of interest.
Can we trust him again? From a psychological point of view, the answer to this question depends on several factors.
Why did our partner cheat on us?
According to Jay Kent-Ferraro, PhD, author of Surprised by Love: One Couple’s Journey from Infidelity to True Love, one of the best indicators for understanding whether to believe a cheater or send them away is the reason for their cheating. You need to understand why your partner cheated on you.
The reasons for this may be pathological. He may have a catastrophic need for communication or be a narcissist or a sociopath. Vengeful motives may also be considered. For example, it may be passive aggression and deliberate sabotage, which may serve as a provocation on his part to end the relationship with you.
Usually, the reason why our partner cheats on us is not so sneaky. There may be fleeting moments, such as when the partner is going through a so-called midlife crisis or when he or she is attracted to another relationship.
Maybe your partner cheated on you because he suffered from low self-esteem, and cheating was a way to boost it. That is, he was testing whether he was attracted to someone of the opposite sex. It’s stupid, but it happens often.
The reason for the betrayal became clear.
So, when the reason for cheating is related to problems in our relationship, there is a chance that our relationship is doomed.
However, when the cause is related to personal issues, addressing our partner’s problems may mean that we can rebuild trust in them again.
After the deception
It is important to take the time to process our feelings because we have been the victim of infidelity. Then, if our partner wants to try again, how they act after the fact will be a great indicator of the success of the relationship.
According to relationship experts and psychologists, several clear signs indicate there is still hope in our relationship.
One of these signs will be that your partner sincerely regrets cheating on you. He takes responsibility for it and repents of what he did. As proof of his words, he will break off all contact with the person with whom he cheated.
Your cheater will be honest when it comes to the problems he is having or the problems in his relationship with you. You need to move on and he should respect whatever decision you make.
According to Robert Weiss, the author of several books on physical addiction and adultery, complete honesty will be the only way to restore the trust of the betrayed partner after an affair. If the victim does not feel comfortable, the cheater who wants to fix the relationship must be open and as honest as possible. Only then can he fix everything.
