So, what is exactly pistanthrophobia? It is a fear of trusting other people, and yes, it’s an actual phobia. The next logical question is how do people get this kind of phobia? Well, the main causes for developing pistanthrophobia are previous heartbreaking and bad experiences during which you got hurt one way or another by other people.
For example, if someone hurt you in the past, your mind is going to remember it, and it will subconsciously start being in constant fear of getting hurt again. Your bad experiences work like a trigger when it comes to meeting new people, and that is why you find yourself unable to open up to someone new.
When it comes to relationships, this is a huge problem because it prevents you from being who you are with someone you just met, to show your true colors, and to be vulnerable in front of them. Trust is the core of every relationship, and if you’re having troubles relaxing and trusting others, you will never be able to set the foundation for your relationship to function properly.
Summarized, if you want to be in a happy relationship, you need to let down your walls and face your fears because you don’t want to ruin every potential date and opportunity to find the one. But, the first step is establishing the existence of pistanthrophobia, and here are 8 signs that you might be one of those who have fear of trusting others.
1. You are skeptical about every person you meet
You find it hard to label anyone as trustworthy even if they are adored and loved by everyone else around you. You simply cannot help yourself being skeptical about every single person you meet because you can’t believe that such a person exists.
You are convinced that everyone will hurt you, and it is just a matter of time even though they haven’t given you any single reason not to trust them. But, this force is stronger than you, and you feel like you cannot fight the urge to be skeptical toward everyone.
2. A happy relationship feels like miles away from you
When you think of your love life, the only thing you see is the negative side of it. You simply cannot imagine the kind of relationship or the person you would be happy with. It feels like unknown territory that you will never be familiar with.
You keep repeating to everyone around you that you’ll forever be single, and you believe it with all of your heart. To you, just the mention of a happy relationship sounds irritating and incomprehensible because you don’t believe that such a thing even exists. And even if it does, you’re convinced that it will certainly never happen to you.
3. You are a constant over thinker
You always think that there has to be more to every person you meet because you don’t believe that they are being genuine with you. So, you’re constantly reading between the lines and trying to figure out their hidden, ulterior motives.
You simply cannot be satisfied with things being as they are. You always dig for more because you’re convinced that it is just a matter of time until you’ll find out that all this time, they’ve been nothing but liars and manipulators. Sometimes you find yourself being unable to listen to their words because you’re too busy developing the whole schema regarding their suspicious personality.
4. You doubt anything you hear
You treat everyone as liars or potential liars in disguise. Whatever they tell you, you will never, ever trust them. You doubt every single word you hear because you’re kind of programmed to do so. Your brain is no longer capable of distinguishing truths from lies.
In your mind, everything you hear is a lie, and it is just a matter of time until it will be confirmed. You believe that the nicer the person, the bigger the liar she is, and that is the only truth when it comes to your perception of the people around you. The nicer they talk, the less you will believe them.
5. You wholeheartedly believe in Murphy’s law (“Everything that can possibly go wrong will go wrong”)
You are a firm pessimist regarding everything. You believe that everything that can possibly ever go wrong will go wrong, and no one can tell you otherwise. You always assume that certain things will go wrong because they are destined to be so even though you have no proof of that.
You can’t remember the last time you thought positively about the outcome of a certain situation—most probably you didn’t due to being occupied with the negative side of it.
Thinking positively is a prerequisite when it comes to attracting happiness and good things in life. So, if you’re constantly negatively oriented, you will attract such things as well.
6. You get jealous too easily
You are very insecure regarding your place in a relationship, and this insecurity triggers constant jealousy even at the simplest of things. You get jealous too easily because you’re constantly on the edge, thinking what’s going to happen next or that your partner or potential partner is doing something bad.
You’re scared of the new things that come into your life because you see them as potential threats to your relationship. You’re always assuming the worst, and you’re suspicious of your partner’s friends, work colleagues, and others with whom you’re not familiar. Jealousy is the biggest enemy of every relationship, and if you’re constantly blaming your partner for something they didn’t do, it is a recipe for a true disaster.
7. You’ve made a choice that you’ll never trust anyone again
You have solemnly and wholeheartedly sworn that you’ll never trust anyone again because of some bad experiences in your past. You made this choice to protect yourself from any possible harm in future, and that is why you’re simply unable to stop overthinking and unable to break the vow of never trusting anyone again.
This determination to stay true to your belief that people are cheaters, liars, and toxic manipulators is your biggest obstacle when it comes to reaching true happiness. As long as you refuse to think differently or look at the bigger picture, you will be unable to see that there is no need to have prejudice toward everyone without a valid reason.
8. You need constant reassurance of your partner’s affection
You always need them to reassure you of their affection and how much they love you. You do that because you need constant validation that they are not going to hurt you. Only if they say it as they really mean it, you will get rid of your suspicions. But, even this reassurance doesn’t last for long.
Soon you find another reason to be suspicious of them, and that way, you find yourself and your partner running in circles. Sometimes, you demand too much of them, and if they are not able to fulfill it, you will get disappointed in them.
You see, your fear of trusting others is constantly forcing you to do things you wouldn’t do normally, and it is preventing you from enjoying the happiness you deserve. The best you can do in this situation is to take baby steps, and gradually start opening yourself to others because it is the only way to get out of this confusing labyrinth.