Relationship advice

5 DAMN GOOD REASONS YOU SHOULDN’T BLAME YOURSELF FOR BEING SINGLE

  I hated those “poor you” gazes people used to gave me while I was single. They really treated my relationship status like it was some kind of disease that needed to be treated ASAP. It was really starting to get to me, and I eventually began to blame myself because I was single and because none of my previous relationships worked. I am so sorry now that those thoughts ever crossed my mind. First of all, being single can be a blessing if you treat it as one. It brings you peace, calm and happiness you can never find in most of the relationships these days. Secondly, we should be grateful for the single chapters of our lives because in my own experience, women who spend a large period of time on their own end up the happiest.   To all the women out there who have been or are going through hard times because they believe their single status is their own fault, I am here to reassure you. There are 5 damn good reasons you shouldn’t blame yourself for being single:

1. It’s not all in your hands

Relationships are made for two, and if the other side is a crappy partner, you can’t really do anything about it. You can put on your A game, you can make efforts and be all in, but if the other side isn’t contributing, the relationship will be doomed. So cut yourself some slack. You can’t influence someone’s behavior and their level of commitment. But what you can do is enjoy your life to the fullest until someone worthy comes along.

2. Modern dating sucks

Look around you. You live in the era of a hookup culture, and there are not many men interested in a meaningful relationship. They are more into something casual and fleeting. So why do you still blame yourself? Having said that, don’t blame the circumstances either. Try to accept that things are bad but see what you can do to make them better. Chose wisely who you give your heart to. Don’t settle for mediocre relationships and half loves. Embrace your single life and make it amazing, until one day, you meet someone who shows you that being with him is better than being single.

3. Commitment phobia is widespread

There are so many men who fear commitment that those who don’t are almost extinct. Luckily, some men grow out of it, and they come to the point where they are ready. But there is nothing anyone can do about it until they feel it’s time to change and mature. Then again, there are those who never grow out of it or overcome it and stay trapped in their fears. In any case, there is no point in waiting. You can’t cure anyone’s commitment phobia even if you give them all your love. So, live your life to the fullest, and one day, you will cross paths with somebody who will add to your bliss and being devoted to you will be the easiest thing for him.  

4. You are overqualified

Don’t roll your eyes because it’s true. Most women are single because they are strong, independent, kind-hearted, unique and special. Plus, they scare insecure men. If you are one of those women, you should know that men who run away from you are actually doing you a favor. You need someone who is more like you. Someone who admires you and supports you to dream bigger. You don’t need to shrink yourself for love. When it’s real, it will make you grow.  

5. The reason you are still single is that you haven’t met the right person yet

That’s the only truth, and it sums up all the reasons in one. You just haven’t met your forever person yet. Don’t feed your insecurities with thoughts that you are not pretty enough, that you need to change your appearance, that you are not intelligent. It has nothing to do with it. Trust me: you are more than enough, and for the right man, you will be all he needs. So don’t be hard on yourself and don’t even think about blaming yourself. It will all work itself out when it’s supposed to and not a moment sooner Remember that your relationship status doesn’t define you, and it isn’t something you should be ashamed of. Be proud of yourself because you are bold enough to stand alone. You are not single because you have to be. You are single by choice because you are choosing yourself over some crappy or toxic relationship.  

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