The first month of a relationship is a pretty interesting time. We’re giddy and giggling and love being with our new guy. At the same time, we’re a bit confused about the right things to say and do because we don’t want anything to mess up the happiness that we’ve found. It’s a lot.
After the first month is over, we should feel at least a little bit more settled into the relationship. There are tons of things that we definitely need to stop doing if we want things to work out. Read on to find out 20 things that girls should stop doing after one month of the relationship.
20Telling Our Friends Every. Single. Detail.
We run to text our best friends after a first date that actually seems like it was awesome instead of ridiculously bad, and we keep her informed about everything that’s happened on the next few dates.
After the first month of a relationship, though, we have to chill a bit when it comes to spilling to our friends. Yes, of course, they want to know, but it’s not fair to our boyfriend to have other people get so involved in the relationship. We have to keep some things private and personal. Our friends will totally understand and they’ll be happy for us.
19Waiting For Him To Text First
It’s thrilling when we like a guy and he keeps texting us first. As we all know, texting is complex and there is a lot involved with it, so we would probably all agree that a guy texting us first is the best case scenario here.
Once we’ve been together for a month, we should feel free to text our boyfriend whenever we feel like it. We don’t have to worry about why he’s not texting us and we don’t have to wait for him to get in touch first. Why would we do that? We know that he’s into us, and we know that we’re together. We can stop stressing out about this.
18Spending Hours Prepping For Every Date
Every girl wants to look good on a first date. She’s absolutely going to spend a bit of extra time on her hair and makeup. She’ll also do this because she wants to feel her best, too. We all know that taking pride in our appearance can help with that.
Should we be doing our hair and makeup with as much careful thought and spending as much time after the first month of a relationship? Probably not. We still want to look good, sure, but we don’t need to impress anyone. We should feel comfortable around this guy and know that he likes us no matter what.
17Obsessing Over What We Should Wear
The same thing is true for our outfits. Maybe we’re more into fashion than the next girl, or maybe we’re pretty comfortable wearing the same jeans and t-shirt all of the time. No matter what our style story, though, we don’t need to stress out about what we’re wearing whenever we hang out with our new boyfriend.
He’s going to like us just as much if we wear a t-shirt and pair of leggings that maybe have seen better days than if we put a bit more effort into it and wear a fancy dress. We don’t have to worry about this at all, and we can just focus on comfort.
16Reading Over Every Text We’re About To Send… 100 Times
Texting our boyfriend looks very different from texting our crush or someone we just started dating. When we text a guy that we’re actually in a relationship with, we can send a text full of spelling mistakes, autocorrect errors, and we can feel free to say anything at all. When we’re texting a guy that we want to make a good impression on, we’re going to stare at our phone for a while every time, trying to figure out the best things to say.
We don’t need to obsess over texting a guy when we’ve been together for a month. In fact, we definitely shouldn’t. We should feel like we can chat freely. That’s what he wants, too.
15Trying To See If His Texts Have A Hidden Message
It’s funny how worried we get when a new text from our crush comes into our phone. We spend a lot of time wondering if he’s saying something other than what he’s actually saying. Is there some hidden message? Is he full of subtext? What’s going on?
We all do this, and then once we’re settled into a relationship, we can take a deep breath and realize that this isn’t necessary anymore. He’s saying what he wants to say, and that’s it. If he wanted to say something else, he would. We have to trust this and we have to trust him, too.
14Feeling Self-Conscious Around Him
It’s totally normal to feel a bit self-conscious around someone when we first start hanging out with them. We don’t know them very well if we met via a dating app, or if we’re dating someone who we already knew, then we don’t know them in this different, romantic context.
Another thing that we should stop doing after one month of a relationship is feeling insecure and worried around him. By now, we should feel like we’ve gotten to know each other, and we both like what we’ve found out. We get along, we have fun, and we should enjoy it.
13Being Too Nervous To Ask For What We Really Want
It’s interesting when we think about how complex relationships are and how we all need different things from them. We usually find this out when we’re chatting with our girlfriends about our dating lives. While we’re upset that our boyfriend wants to spend a few nights alone because he needs “me time”, our best friend is confused about why we’re upset because she needs that, too.
We should never feel nervous to talk to our new boyfriend about what we need from the relationship. If we want to spend more time together, or we want a few nights a week to see friends or pursue a hobby, or we want to spend time with each other’s families, we need to speak up.
12Wondering If We Should Tell Him How We Feel
After a month, we should be honest with him about our feelings. We should tell him that we like him and we like how things are going.
If we don’t feel comfortable saying these things, then that’s a sign that this isn’t the right person for us to be with. It can feel tough to be honest if we’ve had some hard times in our love life and if we’re dealing with some things from our past. But a new relationship shouldn’t feel quite that complicated. We should feel like we get along well and like we can talk to each other about anything and everything.
11Constantly Worrying That Things Won’t Work Out
It’s super easy to think that a new relationship wouldn’t actually work out. This is even truer if we’re online dating or if we have had experience with that in the past.
How many times have we liked a guy and then been ghosted? What about swearing that this time we were going to finally be with a nice person and then, somehow, everything fell apart and we were wondering what even happened?
We all wonder if things won’t work out, but thinking that way after it’s been one month is only going to upset us for nothing. We can think more positively and believe that this is going to be great.
10Telling Ourselves He’s Not Actually Into Us
If we’ve had bad dating experiences or have been led on, then it’s hard to tell ourselves that this new guy really likes us. Sure, we know that we should love ourselves and have fairly high self-esteem (but not in a bad way, of course), but it’s tough to get to that place.
It’s normal to wonder if he’s really interested during the first few dates. We don’t want to think “OMG he loves us” and then hear him say that he doesn’t see us together. But after one month, it’s clear that we’re in a relationship and he likes us, and we need to recognize that.
9Being Too Shy To Ask Him If He Wants To Meet Our Family
Everyone has a different opinion about the right time to ask our new boyfriend if he’s ready to meet our family. Some people might say after a few dates is fine and others would rather wait several months.
We can probably all agree, though, that after one month, we don’t have to be nervous or worried about bringing up this subject. After all, if we’re going to be dating, then we need to have this conversation, and we might as well have it now. Chances are, he’ll say yes and we’ll meet his family, too, and it’ll be so amazing.
8Wondering If It’s Okay To Invite Him To Events And Parties
A guy who thinks that it was a bad idea for us to invite him to a party or event after one month of dating isn’t the kind of guy for us. This is a normal thing to do.
Of course, we want to start bringing our new boyfriend to various social gatherings, and he should want to come. He should invite us places as well. This is how we get to know each other better and learn more about each other’s social lives. We shouldn’t wonder if this is okay and we can feel confident that inviting him is a good idea.
7Pretending To Love Every Movie/TV Show He Does
It’s not like we want to blurt out “I hate that movie” when a guy tells us his fave flick on a first date. After a month of dating, though, we don’t exactly want to be pretending to like the pop culture that he likes.
While we never want to be rude about his preferences (since we wouldn’t want him to do the same to us), we don’t have to lie or pretend. We can be honest and say that while we totally get why he loves an action movie franchise, it’s not really for us, and we’d rather watch something else together. He’ll definitely understand.
6Second Guessing Everything We Say Or Do
We should be chill and calm around our new boyfriend once we start getting more serious about each other. After one month, we shouldn’t second guess or words and actions.
We shouldn’t do that anytime, of course, since being nervous and wondering if we said the right or wrong thing isn’t the best way to start a relationship. But we especially shouldn’t act this way once it’s clear that we like each other enough to start seeing each other more seriously. He doesn’t want us to worry about what we say around him, and he wants us to be fully ourselves, which is what we want him to do as well.
5Comparing Him To Our Ex
Do we really want to think about the broken hearts and strange dates and everything that we have experienced up until this point? Do we want to focus on negative thoughts and hard times?
No, probably not. We’re happy and feeling good about our new relationship, and that’s what should be crossing our mind. Instead of thinking about our past dating life, we should focus on the present, and we should try our best to forget about the guys that we used to date by the time we’re heading into month two of our new relationship. It’s going to be much healthier for us.
4Having A Strict Vision For How The Relationship Should Go
We may or may not be the girl who pictures getting married on the first date, but even if we’re not, we know how we assume that most relationships are going to go. We assume that couples make things official, start hanging out with each other’s pals and relatives, start hanging out more in general, move in together, get engaged, get married, and maybe have kids.
After a month of a relationship, it’s best to forget about our preconceived ideas of how the relationship should go. While it’s fine to want to move in together once we’re ready and think that this could be the guy that we want to marry, we can’t rush things, and everything will happen the perfect way.
3Talking To Him About Our Exes
Talking about exes is often played for laughs in movies or on TV shows. Characters go on a first date and one of them won’t shut up about their ex and the other one is thinking, “Should they just get back together or what’s going on?!”
Sure, we talk about our ex a little bit at the beginning because it’s going to inevitably come into the conversation. Our new guy could ask about our past relationships and so we talk a little bit. After one month, it’s good to have gotten those kinds of chats out of the way so we can focus on being together.
2Comparing Our Relationship To What We See On Social Media
How often do we hear about “the comparison game” and how we feel that way because of everything that we see on social media? While everyone seems to have a totally perfect relationship on social media, that’s not the case all of the time.
We also talk to our friends and hear what’s going on in their love lives, and it’s easy to wonder how our relationship measures up. Should we be more like them? Should we make some changes?
By the time that we’re getting into the second month of our relationship, we should definitely stop comparing and focus on our own love story.
1Wondering If Things Should Be Moving Faster
Our BFF got engaged after eight months, and our other friends all started living with their significant others after only a few months. Should we do the same? Is our relationship not going as well if we want to move a bit slower?
Relationships are all different and unique, and it’s good to remember that. Instead of wondering if things should be moving faster, by the time that we’ve been in this new relationship for one month, we should simply have fun with our new guy. Things are going to move the exact perfect way, and we can’t speed them up or force anything.