When it was all over, there I was thinking my life is falling apart. I was sobbing in my room thinking l will spend the rest of my life alone.
I’ve already pictured myself as the crazy cat lady – you know, the one from the Simpsons.
That’s what I do every time something bad happens to me. I mourn, but I do it in a humoristic way. I guess my whole life is kind of a satire.
We all go through the same shit when someone breaks our heart. We all have the same problems and the same questions. But you know what?
I came to a brilliant conclusion.
I knew I couldn’t stop my heart from aching. I knew I couldn’t convince my mind to stop thinking about him.
I had to go through that somehow. I had to overcome that period. If that meant I had to use everything I had, I would.
I was so anxious to get out of it, but knew I couldn’t skip steps. You all know that. You have to let things run their course and wait for the agony to be over.
But here’s the thing I’ve realized…
There are so many things my ex did to me that served as a lesson. There are so many things that I actually have to thank him for….
1. For arguing with me
He taught me how to stand up for myself. He gave me proper training when it comes to verbal fights.
I was always ready to begin another screaming match – I was always prepared.
I learned how to speak my mind when someone constantly attacks me. That didn’t mess up with my head.
I mean, it did at the beginning, but I’ve learned to handle it over time. Now, nothing can affect me. I will always say exactly what I want.
2. For making me better for my next relationship
I know where I did wrong. I get it now when it’s all over and I’m not planning on making the same mistakes again.
I can recognize the situations in which I made a mistake and now I know exactly what to do if something similar happens again.
After the relationship that broke me, I know what kind of a person I want to be and I’m working on becoming that person.
3. For showing me how far can I go
Now I know I’m stronger than ever. Now I know no one could wipe me out that easily because I have the strength to handle almost everything.
When I begin dating again, I’ll know where to draw the line and when to say enough. That was something I didn’t know how to do when I was with him.
4. For helping me learn what I want in a relationship
There were bad things that happened, but there were good things too.
Sadly, those bad ones outnumbered the good, leaving them in the shadows – unnoticed and forgotten.
When you break up with someone, you’re bitter, hurt, and sad.
The only thing you remember is the bad moments, moments that ruined what you had together.
But when you pass that phase of hating him, you remember that not everything was so terrible.
Then, you remember the things you enjoyed, things that made you smile and happy.
Okay, you see, I want that. I’ve seen it and I recognize it. I want my next relationship to be like that.
Anything that is less than what I want, I will walk out on.
5. For making me wonder what it means to love someone
I was always looking for love in others.
I was looking at him and trying to learn what love is through his behavior and actions. Well, I know what love is not by watching him.
I want to thank him for making me realize that love is whatever I want it to be.
I want to thank him for forcing me, in a way, to understand that love can only be found within oneself.
It’s how YOU act and what YOU do, not someone else.
6. For making me learn how I don’t want to be treated
I think that every one of you wanted something – or better said, someone – so bad it hurt.
Maybe even each one of us knew that the person we ached for is not good for us, but we wanted them anyway.
Well, my guy was mysteriously intriguing. I couldn’t resist him. I needed to unveil his secret to find out what is hiding behind that mystic exterior.
I found out, okay. I did… I didn’t like it. I found out that is not how I want to be treated. Lesson learned, let’s move on…
7. For teaching me to let go of the person I was never supposed to be
Each night, he left me picking up the broken pieces of my heart. Each time, he left me alone, trying to glue back my heart like it was shattered glass.
Each time he proved to me that I’m not the person he wants me to be. Heck, I’m not even the person I want to be.
I want to thank him for giving me the courage to ditch him, and go and try to find out who I really am.
I think I know that now. If not, at least I think I’m on a good path to finding out.
8. For helping me grow as a person
Every relationship changes you. You grow as a person: you grow physically, and most importantly, you grow emotionally.
You don’t have to wait to end the relationship to realize you’ve changed. You can realize it while you’re still in it.
9. For leaving me and giving me a chance to find someone better
I thank him so much for ending my agony. We were clearly not meant for each other.
Maybe he isn’t even that bad, but in combination with me, he was intolerable.
Maybe there is someone out there who will know how to handle him.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m thankful for getting another chance to find the right person for me.
10. For teaching me how to love someone at their worst
Even in our biggest crises, I never stopped loving him.
Even when he screamed out so many harsh and insulting words, I never stopped loving him.
I knew that a good person, a person I fell in love with, is lying somewhere inside him.
I hoped that person will come out every minute, so I loved him. I continued to love him despite everything.
Although we never made it, I’m happy I met him because of so many things he taught me.
Sure, the price was high, but the knowledge is priceless.
What do you have to thank your ex for?