You Were My Toughest Lesson

When you came in to my life for the first time, I was sure that you were my blessing. You were everything I had always prayed for.

You were smart, interesting, handsome and mature. I thought I’d finally found my other half, my soulmate. For the first time ever, my life made perfect sense with you in it.

You completed me—you were the missing part of the puzzle. I’d met someone who understood me, who took care of me and who was always by my side, no matter what.

But most of all, I had someone who loved me unconditionally. At least that was what I thought. I considered your love for me to be out of this world.

The two of us were a match made in heaven—fate must have sent you to me, there was no other explanation.

And then everything changed overnight. Actually, you changed and it probably didn’t happen overnight or maybe you showed your true face?

Either way, I woke up one morning and I knew our relationship was doomed. But I kept fighting to keep it alive. I kept fighting you. But nothing helped.

You became distant and emotionally abusive. You stopped showing me how much you cared for me—probably because you stopped caring.

I realized that you had been too good to be true in the beginning and I’d finally seen your true colors. You’d become selfish and controlling and then all the affairs started.

 

But I didn’t leave you even then. I lost all the confidence I had and I just waited for you to go back to your old ways. I wasn’t stupid—I knew that you were cheating on me but I just refused to accept the truth.

I was ready to stay by your side, although it killed me knowing I wasn’t the only one for you. I reassured myself that you only loved me and that not one of these girls were important to you. Until one day, you left me for one of them.

And you broke my entire world by doing so.

When you left me, I thought of it as a curse. I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. What did I do to deserve something like that?

Why couldn’t you love me? I did everything right but even that wasn’t enough. Fate had given you to me just to show me what love was. And having to live without you was my curse.

For me, my life had come to its end—it had no purpose or meaning anymore.

When you left, you didn’t just take yourself away from me—you took my heart with you as well and I had no hope for a better tomorrow.

I was devastated, broken into pieces and I never imagined I could recover. I spent my days waiting for you to come back, despite the way you treated me and despite the way you left me.

That is a period of my life I don’t remember gladly. I just know that I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel until one morning, you weren’t the first thing that crossed my mind.

 

And when I realized that during the day, I was ecstatic. I didn’t know how or why it happened but I hoped that I was about to begin my path to recovery.

And I was right. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t fast but it happened. I got over you and I moved on.

And now I realize that you were neither a blessing nor a curse. You were a lesson I had to learn.

I still believe that everything happens for a reason. And you were sent to my life for a reason. Although I don’t think that my life is meaningless without you anymore, I am sure that your existence in it had a bigger purpose.

If it weren’t for you, I would never have learned how strong I actually am. You leaving me has made me a lot tougher and braver. Now I know that if I can get over you, I can also take whatever life throws at me.

If it weren’t for you, I would never have learned that I shouldn’t believe everyone from the very start.

Before I met you, I assumed everyone around me was honest and that they had no bad intentions.

But after you, I realized that bad people exist  people who like to pretend they are something they are not. There are people who enjoy playing with others and who enjoy making others miserable. You are one of those people.

 

If it weren’t for you, I would never have learned that I should never put so much love, effort and patience into someone who doesn’t do the same for me.

If it weren’t for you, I would never have known what it is that I don’t want from life.

If it weren’t for you, I would have spent the rest of my life without knowing what true love is all about.

If it weren’t for you, I would never have learned to love myself. When you left, I had this enormous amount of love I didn’t know what to do with.

I kept searching for someone to give my love to, until I realized I had to give it to myself first, before I love anyone else.

So, thank you for entering my life. But even more, thank you for leaving it. And thank you for teaching me a lesson I’d never have learned otherwise.

 

ThoughtCatalogs
ThoughtCatalogs
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