Unfortunately, almost all of us have to go through a painful breakup at some point. In such difficult times, you often realize how important it is to have good friends who you can cry to. We have already shown you here what you can do to deal with your heartbreak. Today we want to turn the tables and tell you how best to behave if one of your friends has had her heart broken. With our eight helpful tips, you can avoid making any faux pas, especially now, and you can do a lot to help your friend feel better soon.
#1: Remind her that she has not failed
When a relationship breaks up, we often ask ourselves afterward what we could have done differently to avoid a breakup. The fact that a promising relationship breaks up after a short time while others manage to maintain a partnership for many years makes it seem as if we have simply failed in terms of love. But interpersonal matters should never be about competition. When relationships end, there are usually good reasons for this, and in the long run, it is always better than desperately trying to keep a dysfunctional partnership going. So if your girlfriend is constantly blaming herself, remind her that she should not interpret the breakup as a personal failure.
#2: Don’t give one-sided advice
If you talk to your girlfriend about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend after a breakup, you can take several different approaches: either you try to keep a cool head and give her rational advice, or you pity her and complain about her evil ex-boyfriend. Often, however, things are not so black and white and it doesn’t help your girlfriend to just be reassured or not to be allowed to vent her emotions at all. So try to find a balance between listening, giving good advice, and venting about her—of course, really stupid—ex-boyfriend.
#3 Encourage them to spend time alone
Everyone has a different way of dealing with grief: some prefer to hide away and not let anyone get close to them; others can’t stand being alone with their thoughts and take every opportunity to be out and about after a breakup. Company, conversations with friends, and distraction are essential for dealing with heartbreak, but in the long term, your girlfriend has to learn to cope on her own. So praise her when she tells you about it—treated herself to a relaxing bath last night or went to the cinema or shopping alone. Being able to enjoy time with yourself after a breakup is not easy, and your girlfriend needs all your encouragement.
#4 Offer practical help
Have you ever been in this situation: friends or family members are feeling bad and you say, “Please let me know if I can help you in any way.” The other person usually thanks you but never takes you up on the offer. The reason is obvious: someone who is suffering a lot is not able to figure out how they could be helped and then delegate these tasks to friends. Instead of a vague offer of help, you should make concrete suggestions. For example, you can call your friend and ask if you can drop by spontaneously with some snacks and a good film or bring their home-cooked meal the next time you visit.
#5: Get them out of their usual environment
After a breakup, you can feel like you’re going crazy, and everything in your familiar surroundings reminds you painfully of your partner. If you can, you should offer your girlfriend the opportunity to stay overnight with you. Especially if you don’t live in the same city, a short city trip can be a welcome change. Particularly good girlfriends can send train tickets or a voucher by post so that nothing stands in the way of your time off.
#6: Ask regularly how they are feeling
Immediately after a breakup, friends are there for you, as a matter of course. Unfortunately, it usually takes more than just a few weeks to process the pain and get used to the new situation. Even if your girlfriend doesn’t turn to you with her heartbreak, you should still ask her regularly how she is. You don’t necessarily have to remind her about the breakup every time. It can be helpful if she can tell you everyday things that she may have previously shared with her boyfriend.
#7: Put together a sweet package
Gifts may not cure heartbreak, but they can be a little cheering up during this difficult time. Especially when your girlfriend isn’t expecting it and receives a lovingly put-together package in the mail. You can pack things like care products and chic make-up sets in it to encourage her to do something good for herself. Of course, her favorite sweets shouldn’t be missing either! Maybe you can also find a self-help guide that suits your girlfriend well. After a breakup, many women swear by the tried and tested bestseller.
