Relationships Advice: There Are 5 Stages Of Love And Intimacy In A Relationship. Find Out Which One You Are At!
There are 5 stages of love and intimacy in a relationship. Find out which one you are in!
There are five stages of grief according to the Kubler-Ross model: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Believe it or not, grief and intimacy mirror each other—intensity, dullness, gains and losses.
While there is no specific pattern for couples, all types of relationships go through five corresponding stages of love based on the development of intimacy and emotional connection. As with grief, whether you are dating or already married, these stages do not always occur in the same order, and some may be repeated.
Take a look at the following five stages of love and intimacy in relationships to find out what stage your relationship is currently at.
5 stages of love and intimacy in a relationship.
Stage 1: Passion
“Oh my god, I just met the love of my life. I want to marry this girl. I can’t believe we have so much in common. Oh, I have to eat something. I just can’t sit still; I can’t live without her.”
Oh, the sweet and languid stage of madness. It’s so delicious and so hard to resist. Hormones and logic rarely coincide, so we check our emails and text messages 30 times an hour. We don’t eat, and we dream only of the object of our desire.
Infatuation causes the level of love hormones to go off the scale. This causes euphoria; you cannot control your feelings and impulses.
The infatuation may become more or less intense, but all these wonderful feelings are the first swim in the fresh pond of love.
How many movies could we watch about this feeling? Probably an infamous amount. It is pure poetry; love intensifies and envelops you. Then the first emotions begin to calm down and we become more reasonable. We are already starting to land from heaven to earth and the next stage in the relationship begins, which we will call “landing”.
5 stages of love and intimacy in a relationship.
Stage 2: Landing
“Oh my god, he’s not that funny. Some pretty dumb and crude jokes slip through. Why didn’t I notice that before? I hope it’s not catastrophic and doesn’t affect our relationship.”
Landing from this fantastic flight can be scary as we begin to see things more clearly. Renowned family therapist and author Terry Real says:
This is the day when the romantic veil falls from your eyes and a sober vision of everyday life sets in. The landing may be easy and sweet, or quite hard for you. But eventually, the clock strikes midnight, and Cinderella must return home before her carriage turns into a pumpkin again and her dress becomes tattered. This period must be lived through and realized; it is at this stage that incompatible partners break up, or the disintegration of relationships begins.
Stage 3: Everyday life
“I’m too busy to think about this relationship.”
This stage occurs when all the to-do lists enter the relationship. Before you know it, your main conversations are centered around things like who does the laundry, work, problems, or your crazy relatives.
In the mundane stage, everyday things and concerns begin to encroach on your beautiful oasis of a relationship. There is nothing wrong with mundane things; it is a sign that the relationship is real and interwoven into your daily existence.
The important thing to remember here is not to get caught up in it, to not get bogged down in the staleness and problems. Do something that allows real life to fade into the background, even for a moment, and allows the tender, sweet intimacy of the early days of your relationship to surface, leading you to the next stage…
Step 4: Sanding
“Wow. I forgot how hot she is. I love her so much. My life will only be complete with her.”
This happens when your relationship has reached a point of resolution: this person is full of contradictions and flaws, but so are you. And you love no matter what.
You start to think how lucky you are to have someone in your life you can rely on (a woman’s thoughts) or someone you need to protect and be responsible for (a man’s thoughts).
This stage usually occurs after you have both resolved a major issue or overcome something troubling or overwhelming you, such as the death of a close relative, financial loss, or even the birth of a child.
Stage 5: True Love
“What a joy to be with someone you love and love. I have received a blessing from heaven and adore my wife more than I could ever imagine.
This is what a happy family relationship should be about. YOU feel happy and grateful to the heavens for bringing you together. This is the period in a relationship when we can grumble at each other, say what’s been simmering, take everything we’ve heard into consideration, hug, and agree. We no longer make a tragedy out of trifles; we know that almost everything can be solved by talking frankly.
True love blossoms for about five years; it matures and turns into a beautiful flower. All we have to do is look after it and water it. Of course, after some time, the stages of love may return, and we begin to experience the previous stages again. Crises may happen, but we must overcome them wisely.
I wish you a happy and strong relationship and easy overcoming of all difficulties and failures. Love is beautiful; do not forget about it!
