Each of us imagines love and relationships differently. It is not surprising, because each person is unique. However, we also have something in common—these are very common and persistent myths and ideas about love that you should say goodbye to if you dream of a harmonious and strong relationship with your partner.
It’s not even that they are wrong but that they hinder the development of relationships, poison them every day and every hour, and simply destroy relationships.
So, here are the 5 insidious ideas about love and romance that many of us stubbornly believe in. And they are ruining your relationships!
1. Everyone has exactly one person destined for them—your soulmate.
Indeed, when you are in love with someone, it seems simply unbelievable to imagine someone else in their place. Someone who will make you happy, with whom you can watch TV series in the evenings and sip tea.
But the truth is that most of us met our soulmates in a specific location and under a specific set of circumstances. And if, as the myth suggests, you only had one soulmate on this Earth, the odds of you meeting him or her would be 0.1-0.2%. Wouldn’t you agree? There are plenty of people in this world with whom you would be just as happy, if not better.
I agree that finding the right partner takes a lot of time, and it is impossible to find an exact replacement for your current one—we are all different. But this does not mean that the other person is worse or that you will be less happy with him.
But if you set a goal and open your heart and soul to the world and people, you will meet someone perfect for you.
2. The less often you argue with your partner, the better the relationship.
It is no secret that all couples argue and even fight from time to time. This is normal and part of human nature. If you spend days and months side by side, then “clashes” are inevitable. Much more important is how you cope with the fact that you are different and have different views on many things. Whether you know how to conduct a dialogue and find a compromise.
That is, do you hear your partner and try to understand them, or is it more important for you to make sure that everything goes your way—at any cost? When one of the partners or both choose a destructive communication style with humiliation and threats, this is already a signal of an unhealthy relationship.
But if you both listen to each other’s arguments during the dispute, look for common ground, and come to a compromise, this is a sign that your relationship is healthy and developing in the right direction.
3. You or your partner must “know exactly” what the other wants and thinks.
No matter how much your partner loves and adores you, he cannot (and should not) read your thoughts and anticipate your desires. Many people, for some reason, decide that since their life partner is the “one and only one destined for them,” then they don’t even need to explain to him—he knows what they are thinking and what they want.
This idea of ”romantic telepathy” certainly looks nice, but you must admit – it’s a fairy tale and fantasy. Real life has nothing to do with it; it’s all based on communication. For example, if you are offended by the fact that your partner spends all weekend with friends and you would like him to be with you, then you should tell him about it. You see how simple it is.
Puffing out cheeks, demonstrative sighs, and offended silence—all this resembles kindergarten and does not work. The basis of strong and long-term relationships is communication.
4. Relationships are built on the “50:50” formula.
The most destructive thing for a relationship is to keep track of how much good you have done for your partner and how much he has done for you in return. Often, one of the partners has to make more effort and give more, and there is nothing wrong with that—everything is ok. However, if you are the one giving all the time and working on the relationship exclusively, it is time to think about whether you need it and why.
Naturally, a relationship between two mature and adult people should be flexible first and foremost. For example, if you are going through a very difficult period at work, it would be normal for you to ask your spouse to take on most of the household chores during this time.
And, on the contrary, when it is hard for him, you will lend him your shoulder. This is called a team, and if you become one, the success of the relationship is guaranteed. Then there will be no offense, no misunderstandings!
5. Romantic and sexual feelings lose their intensity over time.
This cliche is, for some reason, very popular in modern culture. For some reason, we all believe that love begins with a crazy whirlwind of pleasure and happiness, but over the years it first weakens and then completely subsides, taking with it feelings and passion.
Yes, it is true that for most spouses, relationships move to the next stage of development—a calmer one—but this does not mean that feelings are fading away!
Such misconceptions about love destroy relationships. Think about it!
There is always room for romance and love in a relationship. Make another date. Go to your favorite restaurant. Walk the streets at night, holding hands. You will see that love is there and has not run away from you!
If you are single, don’t put your life on hold because you haven’t met your love. Build a career, pursue your favorite hobby, travel, find new friends, and enjoy their company!
If you are happy and self-sufficient, your chances of meeting your love will increase many times over. You will attract the same harmonious people! Live and enjoy life. In any case, you will only benefit from it!
