Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat, According to Psychology. Unfortunately, cheating is quite common in relationships. Although there may be reasons why men and women cheat, the results remain the same. Both parties suffer. Cheating can be quite simple, or it can be complex. Psychologists have many theories to explain why men and women cheat. It may seem like a cheater is just a jerk or a terrible person, but psychology suggests that these problems may be deeper.
Despite the complex psychological underpinnings of cheaters, there are some superficial reasons why men and women cheat that are easier to understand.
1. Lack of communication in relationships
Lack of communication in a relationship can be incredibly frustrating. Without open and honest communication, one or both people in the relationship can feel ignored and unimportant. If this is done over a long period, it can lead to cheating. Cheating due to lack of communication is a cheater’s way of expressing themselves. Because they feel they can’t do this with their partner, they find alternative ways to do it. Some people choose drugs or alcohol. Others choose to cheat. Either way, it is destructive to the relationship.
2. They punish their partner
Oddly enough, some people use cheating as a form of punishment for their partner. It may be payback for their partner cheating or some other reason. One thing is clear: the cheater is angry at their partner, and this is how they show it. Sometimes, secretly punishing your partner can be more enjoyable than doing it openly. When cheating, the idea of secretly cheating makes the cheater feel better. The cheater enjoys the feeling of power and control, not the cheating itself.
3. They feel like their partner doesn’t appreciate them
No one is forcing anyone to cheat. It is all a personal decision. However, a person’s perception of their treatment in some way can have an impact on their decisions. A person may not be treated badly, but they just feel that way for some reason. It could be a lack of communication, a lack of passion, or even mental instability. The point is that they feel unappreciated and perhaps invisible in the relationship. This can lead to infidelity because they just want to feel needed.
4. They want to break up but don’t know how.
One of the main reasons why men and women cheat is because they don’t want to stay in their current relationship, but they don’t know how to tell their significant other. They don’t want to hurt their partner and they don’t want to be seen as bad in their eyes. They may not want to be seen as losers by others. Not being open about their feelings can easily turn a person into a cheater. In this case, they may not even be very good at hiding the cheating. They want to be caught so they can get out of the relationship. Sometimes, it’s easier than words.
5. Passion disappears from the relationship
One of the main reasons why men and women cheat is because the passion disappears from the relationship. It is not that they don’t care about their partner. They may love their partner with all their heart. However, the relationship has simply become stagnant or boring, and they cannot figure out how to fix it. It is extremely difficult to maintain a long-term relationship without passion. Sometimes love is simply not enough. A good connection and strong sexual desire are essential. Without these, the relationship will deteriorate because romantic needs will not be met.
6. The person has commitment issues
Commitment issues can lead to cheating in several ways. The first is the most obvious: they are afraid or unwilling to commit. Cheating is essentially a way of not committing. There is a whole psychological reason behind it.
Another way to look at it is that people have different definitions of commitment. Communication issues are usually to blame for the misunderstanding. One person may think that a certain stage of a relationship means monogamy, while another does not think the relationship is at that stage. Good communication is the best way to avoid this problem.
7. They feel lonely
Loneliness can cause people to act out of character. This can be a result of a lack of communication or insufficient attention from their partner. People are not meant to be alone, so they seek out serious relationships. Friendships help, but interactive romantic relationships are necessary. At first, the partner may feel energized. However, after that initial feeling of energization fades, they are often left feeling lost and alone. After all, they did not get the attention they needed from their partner. This can lead to more cheating in an attempt to fill the void.
8. Someone’s needs are not being met
Some people are simply not compatible because of different needs. Sure, they may love each other, but one person may not be able to meet the other person’s needs. Sometimes, both people cannot meet each other’s needs. This can manifest itself in many ways. Two people may have different hobbies, different emotional needs, different definitions of a relationship, different religious beliefs, or different desires for the amount of quality time they spend with their significant other. When a person’s needs are not met, it can push them to cheat.
9. Some people have an unusually strong sexual drive
In cases like these, people cheat because they just want to have sex — lots of it. It doesn’t mean there’s a problem in the relationship, that their needs aren’t being met, that they’re insecure, or anything else on that list. They just can’t control their desires.
This compulsive sexual desire is known as hypersexuality. This behavior is a mental disorder that requires the person to seek professional help. Often the person will feel ashamed of their behavior, so they may hide it for as long as possible. Hopefully, they can get the help they need before their relationship breaks down.
10. They have low emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to control and express one’s emotions appropriately, as well as the ability to manage interpersonal relationships appropriately. Some people simply do not have this ability, or may not be good at it. In other words, they do not know themselves well enough to maintain relationships.
Low emotional intelligence can also lead to a person not knowing how to communicate what they want. This means that their partner won’t know either, so the person ends up cheating because they are not communicating well.
11. They cheat in an attempt to save the relationship
It may seem silly, but some people cheat to save their relationship. It rarely works, but for some reason, some people think it will. This is usually because there is a need or needs that are not being met, but the cheater still wants to save the relationship.
They argue that if they can meet this need in some other way, they will be able to live without receiving this need from their partner they have fought so hard to keep.
12. The liar has low self-esteem
It may seem strange that low self-esteem can cause a person to cheat, but it is not as strange as you might think. People with low self-esteem may seek validation by being with as many partners as possible. It is not that they are trying to validate themselves in this way, but that they end up feeling like the person they are in a relationship with does not love them.
When insecurities start to surface and they feel less and less loved, they start looking for attention elsewhere. The same thing will happen in the next relationship. This leads to a vicious cycle of cheating because they never fix their insecurities.
13. The deceiver is a narcissist
If the cheater is a narcissist, they probably don’t care how their cheating affects their partner. They may justify the cheating. Worse, the narcissist may convince their partner that it’s their fault.
Narcissists are so bad that they may not even hide their cheating very well. They are incapable of considering their partner’s feelings. If the cheater is a narcissist, cheating is probably the least of their worries in the relationship.
There are many reasons why men and women cheat, even more than those on this list. There is almost always some psychological factor behind cheating. Sometimes it can be a mental or emotional problem (for example, in the case of hypersexuality or the case of a narcissist).
No matter what the reason, it is still wrong. No one deserves to be in a relationship with someone who constantly cheats. It may be possible to fix the issues that cause the person to cheat, but they must be willing to work on it, and the trust in the relationship must be restored. All psychologists agree that while it may be difficult to repair the damage, it is possible.
