It Hurts Like Hell, But I Don’t Want You Back

 

I still catch myself thinking of you.

It happens to me that when I am alone, I drift away somewhere with you.

Although there is no ‘us’ anymore, I patch us back together in my mind. I allow myself to fantasize about some things that never happened and that will never happen. I allow myself that just sometimes.

 

I drift away when being surrounded by the most loved people in my life to meet you as well. I guess that’s just how much I miss you.

They say that trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met. So, I’m not trying to forget you. I allowed you to be a little more in my head.

Although I wonder how would it be to live this life without your presence. How good would it be to live without this pain that your absence causes me?

I still haven’t found a way to let you go and it’s been for a while. No self-help books, no human can help me in my process of letting you go. And even though it takes me a hell of a time, I’ll go through it alone.

 

I’m taking as much time as I need because I still feel your presence in me.

I just can’t cast you out of my system and I’m going to deal with that because I was the one to let you in in the first place. I was the one to give you the power to emotionally destroy me and now I have to learn to live with it.

I understand now that even the greatest love can become toxic for us. It can be that the person who should love you the most becomes the person that’s poisoning you the most.

It can turn out that there is no more love left and people start hurting each other.

I get that our love wasn’t meant to last. It was meant to teach us a lesson. I still don’t know what’s the final message, but I know that after the toxic love, I had decided to say ‘no’ to anyone who comes knocking at my door to ask for it.

 

I am too busy with learning the most important love in life that you made me forget—self-love.

Even though it hurts like hell, even though I miss you, I don’t want you back.

I don’t want to play our story on repeat. I’ve seen more than enough. The idea of us that I had in my mind is fading away and I am slowly realizing that my fantasies will remain just that—my fantasies. And that’s fine.

 

I’m sure time will show that leaving you was the best decision I made.

You were like this book beautifully wrapped but totally rotten inside. I’ve seen all there was to be seen. I’ve read every line, every paragraph and each and every chapter of your personality and I know better than to ever wish to open and re-read that book ever again. 

 

ThoughtCatalogs
ThoughtCatalogs
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 is an Educational & Entertainment Platform theme. Our Team Publishes 100+ Content On Weekend/Monthly. We will motivate the needs of any person & make them inspire instantly You, Will, admit Once You Begin Your Journey With Us. The Thought Catalogs platform is a perfect choice.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Advertisment

Sponsor

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 is an Educational & Entertainment Platform theme. Our Team Publishes 100+ Content On Weekend/Monthly. We will motivate the needs of any person & make them inspire instantly You, Will, admit Once You Begin Your Journey With Us. The Thought Catalogs platform is a perfect choice.

Latest

To My Cheating Ex, I Still Can’t Forget What You Did To Me

I carry with me the scars that your actions caused… I hate it. I wish they were not there. I wish you never did what...

2021 The Most Important Lesson Every Zodiac Sign Will Learn This Year

Aries If you keep on acting the way you do, it’s not going to end well. You have to understand that you cannot control every...

Weekly Love Horoscope for each Sign, 8-14 JUNE 2020

Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, because this week they will affect more than once the final result or decision. Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius...

Horoscope For Each Zodiac Sign: Wednesday, June 2, 2021

On Wednesday, problems will arise regarding your communication with a male (or with guys), as well as several of you will be engaged in...

What Your Biggest Struggle In August 2021 Is Going To Be Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Aries (March 21 April 19). You are actually mosting likely to struggle with your short temper this year. As an Aries, your enthusiasm can obtain...