They say every true love should be unconditional. When you love a person, you love them entirely and completely, no questions asked.
You love them with all of their flaws and imperfections. You accept them for exactly who they are and you never try to change the essence of who they are.
You love them the same through their best and through their worst.
At least, that is how things should be, shouldn’t they?
And that is how I loved you.
I loved you, no matter what and despite everything.
And I still love you, there is no doubt about that. I love you even though the truth is I don’t want to love you.
Even though I fight my feelings, somehow they always come out stronger and somehow they always win. Somehow my heart always wins over my reason and apparently there is nothing I can do about it, no matter how hard I try.
I want you to know that sadly for me, this deep and enormous love I feel for you has little or nothing to do with everything I am about to tell you.
But that doesn’t mean I am not going to say it.
The truth is that I don’t like the person you’ve become, even though I still love that person.
To be honest, I don’t know how that is even possible. How can you love someone without liking them?
Well, I myself don’t know the answer but this is exactly how I feel.
And it wasn’t like that from the beginning.
I fell in love with you for your qualities and for the man you used to be. I fell in love with your honesty, with the strength of your character and with your personality, among other things.
I fell in love with you because you were a real man who knew how to appreciate real values and who knew how to respect me.
When I first met you, I thought I’d finally found everything I was looking for.
Of course, I am not trying to say that you were this perfect guy because you definitely had your flaws, the same way I did.
But essentially, I knew you were a good, loving and caring person.
And with time, you’ve changed and everything about you changed. And you’ve become everything you swore you’d never become.
I am scared to admit this to myself and to say it out loud but it seems to me that you’ve become a bad guy, a bad person, and that is something I’m struggling to accept.
I don’t know what has happened to you and if your change of character had anything to do with me. I don’t know if this was the real you all along and if you just pretended to be someone you were not until you saw you had me but the fact is that I don’t like the man you’ve turned out to be.
The fact is that I wouldn’t like you to be my friend and that I wouldn’t like you in my life if I didn’t love you.
The fact is that I don’t like this selfish man who only takes care of himself and who always puts himself first. That I don’t like how you’ve become indifferent toward everyone else’s emotions and the fact that you’ve become immune to the pain you’ve been causing me.
That I don’t like the fact that you’ve started taking me for granted and that you’ve stopped putting any effort into our relationship, like I have to stay by your side, no matter what.
It’s like all of a sudden you’ve become this toxic, negative and bitter man who enjoys manipulating and hurting others, without ever thinking of the consequences.
But most of all—I don’t like the person you’ve become because you keep acting like you’ve lost all respect for me. It is more than obvious that you don’t appreciate any of my sacrifices and the things I’ve done for our relationship.
It is like you deliberately keep finding ways to hurt me and to diminish my worth.
It’s like you enjoy breaking my heart.
And the worst part is that I can’t recognize you anymore. Because you are definitely not the man I fell in love with.