I Am Not A Quitter But I Am Giving Up On You
This time I quit! I quit everything that you represent. I quit your almost love, your messages that don’t mean anything, your hugs and kisses that are fake. I have been fighting this battle for too long but I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t be brave for the both of us. I can’t love for both of us and I can’t be the only one trying.
I am tired of your mixed signals. I am tired of sleepless nights waiting for you to come home. I am tired of losing my inner peace because of you. I am tired of putting you first all the time and never getting the love I deserve.
I am not the kind of person who usually gives up but this time, I give up on you. I give up on us. I give up on the love that we once had, if that could even be called love at all.
I am tired of you not making me your priority. I am tired of you not putting me first and thinking that I am good only for a certain amount of time but not for forever.
I am tired of you thinking that I am not a perfect woman and most of all, I am tired of your attempts to change me. Can’t you see that I am not ready to change?
Can’t you see that I am not a hot mess but a beautiful disaster? And for your information, I will remain like this for as long as I want to.
I don’t want to listen to my friends telling me that I am making a huge mistake by choosing you. I don’t want them to tell me that they saw you with another woman even though you told me that you were working overtime.
I don’t want them to tell me anymore what kind of a man you are and that I had just made a chaos out of my life with you. I am tired of their stories that being with you is just a waste of time and that I deserve so much more than you can give me.
Don’t you see that I am tired? Don’t you see that my heart doesn’t beat stronger when you are around anymore? Don’t you see that your hugs and kisses don’t mean anything to me?
I don’t feel love anymore. What I feel now is indifference and I must admit that it hurts. It hurts to spend so much time with someone thinking that he is the man of your dreams but in the end, when you can’t move from under his claws, realizing that all that he sold you in the name of love, was anything but that.
I refuse to believe that I am hard to love. I know that I am the easiest woman to love but only if I have the right man next to me.
I refuse to change for a man who never made me feel good enough. I don’t want to change for someone who always thought that I was not worthy and the one who would always hit on other girls just to have someone in case he lost me.
It really doesn’t make any sense to fight for the love that only one of us feels. I quit fighting for the man who ignores me every time I show him my love.
That is not what I deserve. I deserve so much more than that and I won’t settle for less than I deserve ever again.
One of the worst parts of this relationship was holding onto something that I couldn’t hold onto anymore.
And the real worst part was that I thought with you I hit the lottery but the painful truth was that I hit rock bottom. And if I hadn’t,maybe I would still be out there, fighting for you and the remains of our love.
But now, more than ever, I am sure that I am making the right decision in letting you go. I am finally liberating myself from that burden I have been carrying on my shoulders for such a long time.
This time, I am giving up on you because you gave up on me a long time ago.