If you have ever been in a situation where you can’t stop thinking day and night about somebody, they are just permanent residents inside your mind.
They are there 24/7, never wanting to leave. You know you are obsessing in vain and it’s not making you happy but you just don’t know how to stop obsessing over someone.
Regardless of whether you had something more intimate with a person or you are simply crushing on for them for no reason, the pattern is the same; you think about them all the time, wherever you go, whatever you do, they are always somewhere at the back of your mind.
Maybe you already had an opportunity to move on with somebody else.
But your obsession is holding you hostage, and you hope that someday something might change, you just hold on to them so stubbornly that you can’t give somebody else a chance.
Sometimes you don’t see that there is somebody else out there because your obsession is blocking your view. The worst part is when you don’t see yourself either.
You don’t see that life gives you new opportunities every day, if you would just get out of your own mind and grab them.
You realize it’s time to change. Not necessarily move on but just to move. To take some steps forward because you feel like you have been stuck in the same place for a long time.
The worst thing to do is to do nothing at all. But if you don’t know where to start, here are some bulletproof ways to get your obsession out of your system:
1. Realize that you are obsessing.
Sometimes the person we lie to the most is the one staring right back at us in the mirror.
There is no one in this world who we can so easily deceive as we can ourself. That’s why we need to take a step back and be realistic.
That’s the hardest part, admitting to ourselves that we have a problem.
I know that sounds like we are in a sort of a rehab but that’s just it, the person we are obsessing over is our drug of choice and the sooner we realize that we have a problem, the sooner we’ll be able to move on.
2. Get to the cause of it.
It’s never about the other person, it’s always about you.
There must be some reason that made us go into this state of obsession. Maybe we had too many bad breaks in our life.
Maybe every past relationship was with an unworthy toxic man and our dream guy is just like a breath of fresh air.
Maybe we are just a bit lonely (though that’s the hardest thing to admit) and we created something out of this guy that made him more into a dream than reality.
Whatever it is, the sooner we know the cause, the picture-perfect image of him will start to fade from our mind.
3. Ban yourself from social media.
Social media is a curse and a blessing all in one.
They are great forms to communicate, to learn some new stuff and to have fun. On the other hand, they give us stalking privileges that we never thought possible.
So we spend our days investigating where has he been, with whom, we stare at his pictures, we obsess about his posts.
It’s making us crazy because we have him on our screen but don’t have him in our life. So the best thing to do is deactivate your social media accounts for a while or simply unfriend him.
That’s one of the most helpful steps, otherwise we are just falling deeper by stalking their social media accounts.
4. Make a physical distance.
The saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ isn’t there for no reason.
When you are not spending time near them constantly, it’s easier to get them out of your mind. Every time you see them, your obsession is just growing.
So if you hang out with the same people or you visit the same places, restrain yourself from doing so. It will be hard at first but it will get easier with time.
5. Avoid contacting them.
If you are in a situation where you text or call one another from time to time or on a regular basis, you are just making your wounds deeper. Keep your distance.
Tell him you are busy with work, studies or with anything you can think of and you just don’t have time for texting.
This way is probably the hardest but faking friendship never brought any good to anybody involved.
6. Concentrate on yourself.
There are tons of things you could or even should be doing right now instead of obsessing about him. Concentrate on them.
Improve your life. Work on yourself for yourself. In a few years, you will be thankful you chose to do so.
There are better things to do, so move your butt from that couch and go. The whole world is out there.
Time is precious and you are wasting it. You can do better.
7. Socialize more.
You probably don’t have much time for your friends because you are too busy obsessing. You see the problem.
Call your friends, hang out with them, and talk to them about anything but your dreamy obsession guy.
There are lots of topics to choose from. And time well spent with friends is the best therapy for you.
8. Be adventurous.
Do something you’ve never done before.
Something you want to do but it may be a bit out of your comfort zone.
You can do anything, like jump out of an airplane with a parachute, zip lining, ride a horse, bicycle rides, anything really; it’s all up to your own preferences.
In any case, change is the best medicine. Even consider traveling to somewhere you’ve never been before.
A change of scenery changes perspective so you might realize that things aren’t all that you made them out to be.
9. Acknowledge that he is not all that perfect.
He is not perfect, you just made him to be.
He might have a lot of qualities and you can really feel like there’s no one in this world quite like him but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
You are simply infatuated with him so you created this picture in your head that has no connection to the real him. You are not in love, you are obsessed.
10. Don’t try to stop thinking about him.
That’s the best answer on ‘How to stop obsessing over someone?’—simply don’t try.
The more you try, the more he is on your mind. Notice how most of these steps have nothing to do with him but have everything to do with you.
The bottom line here is that you have to concentrate on yourself.
You just do ‘you’ for a change. Live your life to the fullest and he will simply fade away from your thoughts without you even putting any effort into not thinking about him.
