How To Move On: 10 Effective Ways To Let Go And Heal
One of the best and the most inspiring quotes on how to move on and let go says:
“Letting go doesn’t mean you forget the person completely. It just means that you find a way of surviving without them.”
Easier said than done, right? So, how exactly do you do it?
- How do you continue living without someone who means the world to you? How do you survive losing the person you love more than anything?
- How to move on from a guy or a girl you still have feelings for? How to move on when you love someone?
- How to let go when your heart keeps holding on? How to move on in life, knowing it’s the right thing to do, when all you want to do is stay next to the person who is doing the harm?
- How to move on after a heartbreak? How to move on from a divorce?
- How to move on when you still love him, after everything he’s done to you? How to move on when you still love her, even though she’s crushed you to pieces?
- How to move on when your husband leaves you after years of marriage? How to move on when your wife turns your back to you, as if everything you’ve been through together doesn’t mean a thing?
- How to move on after cheating? How to move on after infidelity?
- How to convince yourself that it wasn’t your fault and that you’re worthy, despite everything this toxic person put you through?
- How to move on with your life after experiencing some of these devastating emotional trauma that changed you forever?
- How to move on, knowing you’ve made some wrong choices in life? How to move on from past mistakes?
If these are some of the questions playing over and over in your mind, you’ve come to the right place because you’ll get answers to each one of them.
It doesn’t matter if you’re figuring out how to move on from a friendship or how to move when you love someone romantically: it is never easy.
However, it doesn’t make it impossible. I assure you that it can be done and here are 10 ways to do so.
1. Go no contact
It doesn’t matter if you’re wondering how to move on after a breakup, how to move on after divorce (as a man or as a woman), how to move on from a relationship, how to move on from rejection or how to move on from a crush you had nothing much with, the answer is always the same: the first step is to go no contact.
I don’t mean to only stop seeing this person – that’s not enough. Instead, what you need to do is cut all ties with the girl or the guy in question.
I’m sure you’ve already heard people saying: “far from the eyes, far from the heart,” right? Well, that can’t be truer.
Trust me, as soon as you remove this person from your life physically, you won’t have a hard time moving away from them in your head and heart too.
So, don’t hesitate to block all of their social media accounts or delete their number.
Even more, try your best not to visit the places where you know you might encounter them – the last thing you need is to be stressed out about whether the person you’re trying to forget will suddenly appear out from nowhere.
Also, it would be great if you could reduce all contact with everyone connected to the person you’re trying to get over (delete them from social media and don’t answer their calls!)
You don’t want to have anyone in your life who can give you all the information you need about them or who might remind you of your past relationship.
Of course, cutting ties with all of your mutual friends or even family members is especially difficult when you’re trying to figure out how to move on after a divorce (as a man or as a woman) or after a long term relationship, because there are a lot of people connecting the two of you.
This is especially the case if you’re wondering how to move on from the mother of your child or your children’s father, because it means that there’s a human being you guys need to co-parent, so breaking all bonds is impossible.
However, in the situation where going no contact is possible (i.e. when you’re trying to figure out how to move on from after rejection, how to move on after an affair which meant nothing to you, or how to move on from unrequited love), it is the thing you have to do.
If circumstances really don’t allow you to do so, try reducing your communication to bare necessities.
2. Accept reality
How to move on from an ex? Will I ever be able to move on from the one I love?
How to move on from a breakup? How to move on from him or her?
If your mind is playing over these questions like a stuck record, let me tell you that the first step towards your recovery is accepting the truth, no matter how hard and painful it might be, because there is no point in running away from it.
It is clear that you and the person you’re trying to get over are simply not meant to be, despite the depth of your emotions. And that is something you’ll have to come to terms with, as much as it hurts.
Instead of lying to yourself that things will eventually work out to your benefit, that you two will get back together, or that they’ll realize they also love you, be brave enough to look the truth in the eyes.
This is not a phase because you’ve probably lost this person for good.
Deceiving yourself into thinking that this is not a permanent situation will get you nowhere. Actually, it will only worsen the situation and deepen your wounds because sooner or later, you will have to face reality square on.
Once you do, the shock will be even greater because of the time you spent in deception. So please, don’t try lying to yourself – you are tougher than you think and you can handle everything life throws at you.
3. But don’t overthink things
However, accepting the truth doesn’t mean overthinking it. It doesn’t mean that you should overanalyze your entire relationship (if there was one) and every minute detail of your breakup.
Also, it’s important not to start obsessing over this healing process you’re going through.
If you keep on asking yourself, how long does it take to move on for most people or how soon is too soon to move on, trust me, you’ll get nowhere.
The law is pretty simple here: the more you think about something, the more desperate you become for not getting it.
The same goes with moving on: if you keep track of your progress and keep on wondering how come you aren’t moving forward at the pace you want to, you’ll only do yourself harm.
In fact, the best thing you can do is let time do its work. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t focus on getting over someone from your past, but that shouldn’t be the only goal in your life.
Just go with the flow and allow yourself to recover. Remember, healing is not a linear process, it takes time and it definitely doesn’t happen when we want it to happen.
Different people need different amounts of time and energy to heal. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, Concentrate on yourself!
4. Don’t run away from your feelings
When you’re trying to figure out how to move on with a broken heart, the first impulse you have is to ignore all of these devastating emotions that have been tearing you down. You think that if you pretend that the pain isn’t real, it will magically go away.
The same applies to the situations when you’re trying to figure out how to move on from being cheated on, how to move on from an abusive relationship, how to move on after narcissistic abuse, or how to move on from a toxic relationship of any kind.
Let’s face it, it seems easier to rather pretend that this cheating, this abuse, and this toxicity didn’t happen.
You think that the only way to leave everything bad that you’ve experienced behind is to dig it deep under the ground, then keep on lying to yourself that you are perfectly fine, when you’re actually falling apart from the inside.
However, this approach can be counterproductive. ll of your feelings are real and they won’t go away just like that. Actually, they will fester if you don’t treat them on time.
That is why it’s crucial for you to accept your pain. Don’t let it define you and become the only thing that overwhelms you. Don’t try to escape it either because it will catch you sooner or later.
Embrace your wounds and turn them into scars that will always remind you of the struggle you went through and overcame.
5. And talk about them
Another step in this process of letting go and moving forward is verbalizing your thoughts and feelings. As you already know, all of this takes time, but it is much easier with the help of close friends.
Don’t be ashamed to talk about your feelings and everything that’s bothering you. After all, this is what your best friends are for, isn’t it?
If you have trouble trusting everyone around you, chose one person – one best friend you can confide in. Pick one person who knows all of your deepest secrets and let them give you a hand in this healing process.
Just make sure not to allow your broken heart and your ex to become the only topic you talk to all of your close friends about because that will make you think about them more.
Instead, share with them when you’re feeling low, and then be sure to go on with other discussions.
Remember that this can also be a way for you to help others who are in the same situation but are too shy to verbalize their problems. Plus, when you help others, you help yourself as well.
6. Seek closure with yourself
Letting go of the past is especially hard when you’re dealing with questions such as: How to move on without closure and how to move on after being ghosted?
One of the worst things that can happen when a relationship ends is that one partner walks away, leaving the other person wondering where things went wrong and if there was something you could have done to prevent it.
Didn’t you at least deserve to know what went on? Why did the other person decide to call it quits?
Did they second guess their decision? Were they wondering for some time how to know when to move on from you?
Or did they just wake up one morning, certain that walking away from you is the right thing to do? Did they ever look back, wondering if you’re okay and worrying if they damaged you beyond repair?
Or are they out there, living their best life, as if they hadn’t ruined yours? Did they move on while you’re still stuck right there where they left you?
You’re sure that things would be easier for you if you had the answers to all of these questions. You think you’d let go of your past relationship in a blink of an eye if you just got closure.
And the worst part about all of this is that the only person who could give you all the answers is the one who hurt you in the first place.
So, what is left for you to do, if you want to get rid of all this emotional baggage from your past and be ready for a new relationship once you do meet the right person?
You don’t look for closure from the only person who can give it to you. Instead, you seek closure with yourself.
Yes, you heard it right. You accept that the end of a relationship was inevitable and if necessary, you even come up with a reason for it.
You don’t look for justifications and excuses for the other person. Instead, you just accept the apology you never got and you forgive them anyway.
You close that chapter of your life and you come to terms with the fact that some answers will forever remain unanswered. Trust me, with time, you’ll be perfectly fine with it!
7. Let go of expectations
One of the best how to move quotes perfectly illustrates this point:
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”
And that is one of the biggest truths: you can’t move on until you let go.
However, after a relationship ends, a lot of people don’t actually cry over the fact it ended. They suffer for all the missed opportunities and for all the potential they thought it had.
They suffer because they’re convinced they’ve lost the only one they could ever love. And I’m certain that you’re doing the same.
You’re not only having a hard time due to your breakup, but also for having to give up all the future plans and goals you had that were related to this person.
You think of all the should-haves and could-have-beens. You think of all the couples who made it and you see the two of you as failures.
You don’t consider this just as a heartbreak, you see it as a personal defeat too. You’ve put so much wasted time and effort into something that didn’t succeed.
Well, these are all the things you have to let go if you want to move on. Letting go of expectations, dreams, and potential is a big step closer to getting the answer to the question of how to move on from the past.
You come to terms with the fact that everything indeed happens for a reason and that you had to go through all of this for some greater good.
Accept that some people and things are not meant to be and let God show you His plan.
8. Observe everything as a lesson
The best thing you can do when you’re trying to move past a painful experience is to see all the good sides of it.
I know that at first, you assume that there is nothing good in having your heart broken by someone you thought was the right person for you, but trust me, there always is.
Whatever happened to you prepared you for your future. Even though you might not see it now, all of your struggles were actually blessings.
You might have wasted years spending time on someone wrong, but all of that helped you become better for the right person who is yet to come. It prepared you for that healthy relationship that will come in the future and it shaped you into being the strong individual you are now.
Don’t look at the end of a relationship as something bad; see it as a head start for your future relationships in which you’ll know better.
Don’t look at your heartbreak as the end of the world, regard -look at it a valuable experience that is helping to shape you into the person you’re destined to become.
Nothing of this is bullshit; it really is the truth. Remember, you would never appreciate a healthy relationship that’ll come your way if you hadn’t had this toxic one in your past to compare it with.
You would never appreciate the new people who are about to enter in your life, if you hadn’t had the chance to meet all of those who have done you harm.
The truth is that life throws us different people and situations at us. And most of the time,we can’t control it.
However, what you can control is the way you react to them. Most importantly, what you can control is what you learn and get from everyone who has ever crossed your path.
Believe me when I say. even the worst ones – those who made you feel the most negative emotions – can teach you something. At the very least, you can learn to never be like them; that’s a valuable lesson in itself.
9. Move away from negativity
The next step in this process of moving on is to get rid of all the negative emotions and negative thoughts you’ve been dwelling on lately.
The way to start with this is to cut ties with everyone bringing this negativity and pessimism to your world.
You can’t expect to have a positive outlook on life and preserve your mental health if you keep spending time with toxic people who keep dragging you into their own negativity and darkening your path.
I know that turning a new page in your life is not easy, but you simply have to move away from anything that’s causing you stress, from everyone who’s making you feel bad about yourself.
For starters, try surrounding yourself with some new people who will bring positive change into your life.
Start doing whatever makes you happy. Try a new hobby or exercise – whatever takes your mind of your primary problem.
Besides this being great for your future relationships, most importantly – clearing your life from toxicity is crucial to your own well-being.
It will help you boost your self-esteem, believe in yourself more, and start seeing this heartbreak you experienced as something you can and will overcome.
10. Practice self-care
The key to moving on is loving yourself. This might sound like a load of rubbish, but it’s as true as it gets.
You know how you’re always nice and full of understanding towards your friends when they’re going through some rough time? How you never judge them, but instead hold their hand through all the bad times?
Well, it’s time to give yourself exactly the same treatment. Why do you pamper others in their time of need but put yourself down when you’re in a bad space?
Why you cheer for others, telling them that they will make it, but don’t have faith in yourself that you will overcome all of your difficulties? Why do you push others forward but put yourself down every time you make a mistake?
Why are you so hard on yourself? Why do you think of yourself as weak for going through all of this pain that you didn’t cause?
Once you start seeing your true value and realize that you’re worthy of self-love, you’ll understand that nobody is worth you suffering over them this way.
And just like that, your question of how to move on from a relationship or heartbreak will be answered.
Once you start putting yourself first, you’ll settle for less in your new relationship. You’ll have enough self-esteem to look for the person you deserve, without lowering your standards.
Once you start practicing self-care, once you start taking care of our mental health and once you focus on your well-being, you’ll start living your best life.
Just like that, you’ll see that you never needed this person who was giving you so much headache in the first place.
You’ll see that all of this moving on and all of this suffering was all a part of growing up. And you’ll be thankful for things going the way they did.
Most of all, you’ll be proud of yourself for standing tall through the storm and for rising above the ashes, despite all the odds.