Betrayal of a loved one. How to gain strength to live on.
Personal relationships can be very difficult, but many problems and obstacles can be overcome. It’s another matter when a loved one betrays. This is no longer a problem that can be solved. This issue completely upends the world. How to cope with pain and what to do?
Betrayal of a loved one
If, for example, a friend, colleague, relative, or loved one breaks a promise, the shock we feel when we learn about it sends us (body, psyche, and soul) a signal: we are no longer safe. This is a deep wound, which sometimes takes years to heal.
The hardest betrayal to bear is that of those we have invested the most in. It is deeply traumatic for several reasons:
− We have reason to begin to doubt the correctness of our own decisions in other areas of life.
How to gain strength to live on
Betrayal causes intense fear that takes over our entire body. It activates the stress response and causes a cascade of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms—problems with the adrenal glands and digestion, fatigue, confusion, “fog” and chaos in the head, depression, anger, and rage, a feeling of deep humiliation.
Our self-confidence suffers; we are tormented by a feeling of insignificance; abandoned and rejected. We are terribly hurt by the fact that our loved one took advantage of us for purposes without caring about us.
The problem is that if we try to deal with each symptom individually, instead of addressing them all at once, healing may take longer than we would like.
The first thing to understand is that we are not crazy and we are not alone.
Many simply don’t realize the enormous impact that what happened has on the body, psyche, and entire worldview. Trauma survivors often try to treat each symptom separately because they are afraid; they think that if they admit what is really going on inside them, they will be judged or pitied. But isolation from others only makes the problems worse.
We need support now more than ever. Without it, it will be very difficult to leave the experience behind and move on. By healing trauma, we relearn how to trust others, feel safe, love, and open our hearts.
I recently did some research and found that women typically heal from betrayal trauma in five stages. Some get stuck in one of them for weeks, months, years, or even a lifetime. But the only way to rebuild yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually is to move through all five stages at a pace that feels comfortable and change your outlook to become stronger.
If we view all the effects of this trauma in our lives as part of one deep emotional wound, we can gradually move beyond the pain and shock and begin the healing process.
Once we heal from trauma, we no longer allow the betrayal we experienced to control our lives.
On a physical level, we will feel lighter, more energetic, stronger, and healthier. We will be able to sleep soundly again and wake up well rested and ready to face any challenge.
On a mental level, we will be able to concentrate again, stop constantly tormenting ourselves with memories and thoughts about what happened, and focus on positive thoughts and ideas.
On an emotional level, we will become calmer and more balanced, more confident and optimistic. But most importantly, having healed from the trauma, we will no longer allow the betrayal we experienced to control our lives.
What happened will still remain one of the significant chapters of our life story , but it will no longer completely control its course.
Betrayal of a loved one: We realize that this experience helped us become more confident, stronger, andwiser. We will understand what resonates in our souls and learn to set clear personal boundaries.
We will surround ourselves with people who support us, help us grow, and accept us for who we are, avoiding those who are not willing to be the friend or partner we deserve. Our greatest crisis will become our greatest gift.
