How Smart Women Build Relationships. I’ve always struggled with relationships with men. I’ve been married, divorced, had a “friend with benefits,” had a bad boyfriend, and had a lot of first dates. Basically, I spent too many years dating the wrong men, doing the wrong things, and feeling the wrong way about myself. So how do smart women build relationships?
But the strangest thing is that I am not a weak or stupid woman . I am smart, pretty, cheerful, and sweet. I have many friends, a good job, and an apartment. I am successful in many aspects of life, so why am I so unlucky when it comes to love?
So it took me about 10 years, liters of wine, and tons of ice cream to understand that in love, smart women can be stupid. What is important in love is not always what is important in a career and friendship.
And once I figured out what the difference was and what really mattered, I was able to find a guy who is still with me today. If my story sounds familiar, here are some tips on how to find your man:
How Smart Women Build Relationships: Don’t Try to Change Him .
And I always approached men as a work assignment, trying to fix, change, save, and tame him. But a man is not a task; he is a person; he makes decisions on how to act.
As much as you want to control everything, it is not in your power. And trying to control everything and change it will just be a waste of time.
With men, you shouldn’t look for problems to solve; you should just go with the flow. If everything happens naturally, calmly, gently, and comfortably, then you are moving in the right direction.
How Smart Women Build Relationships: Be, excuse the word, a queen bee .
Women are biologically inclined to value themselves based on their relationships. Men, on the other hand, value themselves based on how well they can provide for a woman.
In your feminine energy, you should be the queen of the beehive. You are the center: calm and receiving. The man in your life is the worker bee: giving, doing, caring. They buzz around you, trying to please you, and you appreciate them in return and help them grow and develop.
When you become a worker bee, the dynamic is broken. A man doesn’t want to be a queen bee; he wants to contribute to the relationship. Otherwise, if you do everything, he may start taking you for granted, not working for the relationship, just getting what he needs from it, without giving anything in return. Do you need that?
Don’t be afraid to be weak and vulnerable.
No matter how strong and smart a woman you are, be soft and open with your man. He wants to feel that you are safe with him and that you can open up to him.
Show him that you care.
Just because men don’t share their feelings much doesn’t mean they don’t have them. Just put him at ease; make him feel comfortable and safe around you, so he knows you care about his feelings.
Don’t be afraid to show your feelings.
An intelligent woman is an open woman. Express everything you feel, both good and bad. You should not be a mystery in this. A man does not want to guess what is wrong with you when you nervously say, “Nothing.”
