Breaking up is hard to do, but getting along with your ex can be even harder — maybe even downright impossible if they hurt you by lying, cheating, or disrespecting your feelings. However, in many cases it’s healthy to nurture a relationship with your ex. For example, if there are children or mutual friends involved, you’ll want to maintain a calm connection. Fortunately, Astrology can help.
There is no guarantee that this knowledge will aid us in completely dissolving any strife and conflicts we may have with our former partners or lovers. But by just knowing your ex’s birthday, you can greatly reduce the amount of acrimony and contention you might have with him or her. In fact, it is wholly possible to be friends with your ex, discovering him or her in a way that’s much better for the two of you.
Aries Ex (March 21 to April 19)
Aries react before they think about consequences. You might make a relatively harmless statement that touches an Aries’ nerve. Don’t take the outburst too seriously or get caught up in it. The good news is that those blowups can blow over just as quickly as they come. Most often, the anger comes from some perceived threat to their independence or slight to their ego. Be careful about putting them down. If there is some quirk or issue, like child-rearing, that affects more people than just the two of you, speak about the benefits — for all involved — of making a change.
Taurus Ex (April 20 to May 20)
Abandon all hope of making a Taurus ex change, and you’re more likely to see the change you want. They can be notoriously stubborn and may refuse to do things differently just because you desire it. If there’s an offensive habit you want them to drop, it’s best to convey only a few times how much it bothers you … and then decide if the habit impairs your relationship with them. If it does, drop the relationship. If not, use positive reinforcement. Taureans respond better to encouragement and reward than resistance. The key is allowing the Taurean to go at his or her own pace.
Gemini Ex (May 21 to June 20)
The Gemini’s mind and mouth will often go faster than their heart. This can make getting along particularly difficult. With Gemini, honesty is, indeed, the best policy. Though you may want to best them with an equally nasty barb or witty comment, resist — the verbal combat will just escalate. It’s best to speak honestly when something hurts your feelings, and ask pointedly if the Gemini wants to lose the benefit of your friendship and goodwill. This may give him or her pause. Gemini will, at times, get too caught up in mind games and forget their own heartstrings. So, it’s wiser to engage them from the heart rather than the mind.
Cancer Ex (June 21 to July 22)
Cancer wants to avoid being vulnerable, so they may not tackle an issue directly. For instance, if a Cancerian is upset about you being late to meet him or her, they may talk about a political issue that’s a sore point for you rather than directly discuss their feelings about your tardiness. Don’t get caught in the trap. Ask if they’re upset about something else, if you can’t guess why. Cancerians have a great memory, and you can’t argue with them about the past … so don’t.
Leo Ex (July 23 to Aug. 22)
The Leo wants adoration most, and that’s a tall order for an ex. Though you may not be together, they still like to know they’re the cat’s meow — so a sincere compliment can go a long way. It’s not that the Leo just wants flattery, but some measure of validation makes them feel good. The trouble is that they can be self-absorbed. You can’t make them give back as much as you’re giving, so don’t try to manipulate it out of them with ultimatums or by eliciting pity. If you’re not feeling respected or appreciated, then say so directly. Leave it up to them to give as good as they get … or leave them alone.
Virgo Ex (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
Unfortunately, most people take Virgo’s tendency to be critical too personally. It’s not something that they’re doing just to you, but they’re inclined to do it to anybody, especially themselves. This may take some of the edge off your interactions with your Virgo ex. The best thing to do is to avoid the impulse to challenge his or her critiques. Take in whether you feel like hearing a critique (about anything) at all, and if you do, then ask more questions about the critique rather than advancing your own opinion. It will press the Virgo to look within and think deeper about his or her own ideas and opinions.
Libra Ex (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)
Oddly enough, the healthiest part of managing a relationship with a Libra ex is having a good old-fashioned argument from time to time. Librans might either play along or play nice until they’ve had enough. Then you think you’ve awoken some sea monster who will rage about things that you could have sworn didn’t affect them at the time. The key is to have a little patience for when they play nice. Be direct, not necessarily blunt, about your own perception about what’s going on. The Libra will then feel like they have the space to address their concerns, if they truly have any.
Scorpio Ex (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)
The idea that revenge is a dish best served cold day after day is something that may tempt the Scorpion’s imagination after a breakup. However, it only works if you’re suffering and they can see you suffering. Burst the bubble by taking the initiative to tell the Scorpio that you’d rather make peace with them than be caught up in being too proud. For the Scorpio, this either means you want back in or you have an ulterior motive. Avoid misconceptions by getting neither too close nor intimate, but just close enough to be supportive and cordial. If you do this consistently, the Scorpio will, at least, feel like you can get along.
Sagittarius Ex (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
The most challenging part about getting along with a Sagittarius is having them keep their commitments to you. It’s not personal, as Sagittarians, without the benefit of astrological awareness, have a tendency to over commit themselves. If it’s an important event or outing, it would be best to send them a reminder every now and then. You want to choose this kind of action wisely, as otherwise you might find yourself acting as their secretary. The Sagittarius is affable enough to live and let live. Call on them when they’re needed, but not too much, as they’re out and about doing something else.
Capricorn Ex (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
A Capricorn doesn’t want to acknowledge his or her vulnerabilities, so they may either seek to hide them away from you by being busy (with work, of course) or being a taskmaster to stay on you about whatever foible they see in the moment. If they threaten to take you to court about your parenting plan and you’ve been following it to the letter except for a very slight, unavoidable mishap (like you were an hour late to pick up the kids … once), then recognize that this is about some insecurity on their part — perhaps feeling overwhelmed. If you’re willing to go the extra mile to help without saying why directly, they may take the support and be better pals.
Aquarius Ex (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
The key problem about getting along with an Aquarian ex isn’t really about them. One fantastic thing about Aquarians is that they generally will appreciate and love the person, not the title they once held, e.g., girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or hubby. So even after your relationship dissolves, they’re likely to keep a special place in their hearts or lives for you. The problem is that most other people don’t understand this, so they’ll be baffled by why your ex is calling you up to borrow your car or ask you out to the movies. On this, use your judgment for what activities you do with your Aquarius ex and be clear with your current squeeze, if you have one, about the nature of your relationship with your ex.
Pisces Ex (Feb. 19 to March 20)
It’s hard for Pisceans to let the dream of a relationship die, and they do take it personally. They may be willing to undergo many sacrifices to make it work, even after it’s been legally or fully dissolved. It’s key for you to recognize when they may be acting like a martyr and not let them do it, even if they say it’s OK. It generally isn’t, because when they have the massive realization that the dream of the relationship is truly over, then any hopes of getting along afterward are dashed as well. You have to inspire them toward another dream of friendship … with sincerity and equal amounts of work to maintain it.