Love addiction. How to get rid of love addiction. I am often asked how to behave in a given situation. I will try to give an algorithm so that you can intuitively correctly build situations. Love addiction. Harmoniously built relationships are like a children’s swing, where a long wooden crossbar with support in the middle swings up and down.
When the swinging is alternate, everything is fine; both are enjoying themselves. Problems begin when one of the pair dominates, sits down, tilts the swing to his side, and the other is frozen in the air in a suspended state, stops enjoying it, and cannot get out of it.
The thing is that people have different psychological mass and attitudes towards freedom. At the very beginning, one of the most interested partners plays along with the other, like, let’s swing, and it is clear that he will regulate the swing, slow down somewhere, speed up somewhere, so that the second one gets pleasure and relaxes, trusts him and gets drawn into this story in the hope that he has found a partner for life.
Love addiction. As soon as the partner relaxes and gets an obvious buzz, energy imbalances arise, namely:
1. Unconsciously falling for him (constantly thinking about him, bombarding him with text messages and questions, calling him, asking when we’ll meet)
2. Purposefully creeping towards him to be closer (start serving him, having sex, talking about your desire to marry him)
3. He stops playing along with her, relaxes his legs, and lifts her with all his weight (starts drinking, swearing, answering rudely, disappears, doesn’t answer messages, asks for money on loan, meets with other women)
You must understand that he hasn’t gone bad… He just relaxed and became himself, who he really is, and doesn’t take things personally.
4. He moves back (on purpose or not), thereby increasing his body weight on the lever. (I’m busy, working, sleeping, tired, etc.)
The most common occurrence is point 1. The woman unconsciously slides down, getting stuck on him, constantly fidgeting with him and sorting things out, and he has no choice but to back away; he has no chance to even out the balance. He can only jump off the swing, roughly throwing her off it and swearing.
The woman feels this, so she is afraid to overdo it; she endures. All attempts to put her in her place, back to her old place, she perceives as an insult and indifference; sending a person away is the same as returning everything to how it was before! But no one understands this and begins to fall at his feet even more!
And so the vicious circle closes. A stuck, fallen woman leaves no chance for harmonious relationships. She can only be cut off with a knife.
Love addiction. In any case, there is only one way out! Hold on tightly to your seat and move back if it becomes uneven!
You can’t trust a man at the very beginning; he’s just pretending to be a bunny! If he’s an abuser, a pick-up artist, and a scoundrel, he’ll lure you onto this swing, swing with you a couple of times, and then suddenly move back, and you, your self-esteem, dignity, attention, feminine energy, sex, borscht, and even money will roll in his direction. A very profitable technique. Why should a man take responsibility for you and look after you if he’s mastered this manipulation technique?
Even if he is a normal man and you are a woman shaking with fear of loneliness and he sneezes or goes off the swing to relieve himself, you will fly to his side to “save” the relationship. If you are like that, you are a bad partner; you cannot build a normal relationship with you, and you need to be treated.
Men either accidentally discover this weak side of yours or deliberately “feel out” you; check for adequacy. If you sit firmly in the saddle, no one will leave you; you are a valuable, rare person for him. You should always have a free place to retreat; this is your safety cushion and strength.
Many of you are afraid to retreat, afraid that your partner will think that you don’t need him and will leave… He won’t leave. He won’t be able to get off the swing while it’s balanced or he’s on top, but he can very easily jump off when he’s at the bottom, plus you’re sitting on top of him.
If you don’t like this game, you can get off this swing by sliding down to the middle and putting your feet on the ground. This doesn’t mean the relationship is over; you’re just changing the format.
This article is based on a real session with one girl.
Then this amazing metaphor of a swing came up. The man was sitting at the bottom, and she, it turned out, was sitting astride him. As she moved back as far as she could, she felt relief and a sense of balance. When she decided to get off the swing, he got off too, and they held hands.
To my question: What about the wound in the chest? She answered that it needed to be filled with a magnet. And the magnet didn’t take long to find! Guess where we found it?! In a hollow, on the very edge of the swing! Amazing! Our subconscious knows everything!! The man immediately became magnetized and the girl felt like a blooming, alluring tree.
That’s why:
1. If you don’t get enough attention from a man, then you need to move back, stop paying attention to him, and do your own thing.
2. If he doesn’t take the initiative to meet or propose to you, register on a dating site and go on dates with an impudent look. If he has questions, answer: do we have any obligations to each other? I’m a free woman!
3. If you find out he has someone, get yourself someone too, or pretend you have. If he hides his phone from you and runs off to the balcony to talk, do the same. If he openly dates other women, then you openly date others (without s@x) and bring flowers home.
4. If he doesn’t spend the night at home, then you can afford it too. If he yells that he spent the night at work, then you bat your eyelashes and say that you spent the night at a friend’s.
5. If he says you’re crazy, then you’re telling him he’s crazy.
6. If he yells that he is leaving you, say, No problem, and start packing your things.
This will be fair, and the balance will be maintained.
