The end of a relationship is always associated with sadness. Even if heartbreak manifests itself in different phases, we all deal with the loss of a loved one in surprisingly similar ways. To be more precise, there are four classic breakup phases that you have to go through before things finally get better. Here you can find out what the rocky road looks like until you can finally forget your ex.
Regardless of whether you broke up with someone yourself or were left behind, the pain after a breakup is deep. The person who left may have been better prepared emotionally than the person who was left behind, but both suffer from the fact that their other half is suddenly missing. If you just want to hide at home and the pain doesn’t seem to be getting any better, sooner or later you ask yourself how much longer you have to suffer before the heartache goes away.
These are the classic separation phases.
Maybe you are in the middle of processing a breakup. Then you can now check which phase you are in and what you still have to prepare for.
1. Separation phase: The “not wanting to believe it”
It’s over, finished, over. But you can’t accept it at the beginning. Suddenly you can’t call your boyfriend anymore, you can’t just see him anymore, you can’t tell him everything anymore. He’s gone, but there’s an emotional distance as if you’re suddenly strangers. Even if you’ve drawn a line under it yourself, you feel dazed and can’t face reality. Suddenly single?! At this stage, you can’t come to terms with the idea.
2. Separation phase: The uncontrolled emotional outbursts
Also known as the big crying, screaming, and swearing. You’ve realized that you’re now going your separate ways and you’re mourning the time you spent together with huge emotional chaos. This separation phase is tricky because you’re now particularly fond of thinking back to the good times and losing sight of why you, your ex, and you split up. Now it may even be that you want to win your ex-boyfriend back and just can’t get him out of your head because you miss him so much. And the next moment you’re throwing a cup against the wall because you’re so angry. At him, at yourself, at the whole situation. And then the tears start to well up in your eyes again.
3. Separation phase: Reorientation
This phase marks an important transition: the depressive mood is over, you wake up like a phoenix from the ashes and you’re looking forward to something new! Not immediately in terms of men, but you’re starting to reorganize your life. Now that you’re alone, you suddenly have a lot more time for yourself, your interests, and hobbies that you’ve perhaps always wanted to try. You’re starting to rediscover yourself. You also now feel like going out with friends and simply partying away the frustration that you still carry inside you.
4. Separation phase: Acceptance and opening for a new love
You’ve made it and found peace with your new situation. You know that the separation was the right thing to do and you can slowly get used to the idea of entering into a new relationship. Until then, however, you can enjoy your self-determined single life to the fullest.
It may be that you go through all four phases of separation several times before you can process the separation and mentally come to terms with it. So don’t despair if you feel great one day and then mourn the relationship the next. Time heals all wounds!
